For real? GOD told you that?

Maybe I’m not a “for real” Christian: I’m willing to concede that; but there are fewer phrases that make me cringe than “God told me to blah, blah, blah.”

Whenever I hear anybody, Christian or not, utter the words “God told me”, my first thought is “You’re lying”. The second, depending on the person making the proclamation is “You’re crazy”. What makes you feel this way, Malaka? Well I’m glad you asked! Let me expound in bullet form:

  • Dude. Even in the Bible, God only spoke to a handful of people and they were called prophets. So the notion that you Mr/Ms Christian-ette have a one-on-one connection with the Divine One in which he speaks exclusively to you is absurd. If He’s the same God today, yesterday and forever, why is He suddenly going to switch up His game and start a dialogue with a mere mortal, who has no real impact on society?
  • Most people who say “God told me” have an idea of what they already WANT to do, and use the phrase to explain away any failure for what God said to do not coming to pass. “I believe with all sincerity that God wanted me to date/marry this man.” No, God didn’t tell you to marry/date this man. You thought he was good looking/rich/whatever and you convinced yourself that it was God whispering in your ear. The same concept applies to people who pursue anything that they have no business getting involved in, like running for President or Congress when you have a criminal background.
  • Some of these people just don’t want to use common sense. I do believe God gives us wisdom, and that is a horse of different color. God gives us brains and a will, and allows us to look at situations and ascertain what the possible outcomes of engaging in processes or participating in certain events might be. For example, if you know that there is going to be a bar-b-que on Bankhead Highway, you can say with all probability that there will be a shooting. God doesn’t have to tell you not to go down there…experience and common sense will tell you to keep your happy behind on the North side.
  • “I can’t move, can’t walk, won’t talk unless God tells me to!” These are the words I actually heard in a gospel song, and some people actually live their lives that way. These are folks my bishop calls “so heavenly minded, they’re no earthly good.” The less I say about this group, the better.

What irks me most about this group of people is when they try to impose their assumed sense of “divine instinct” on me.  I have recently made the mistake of sharing my future relocation plans with certain individuals. I gave sound reasoning and explanation for my plan of action, complete with my husband’s approval and agreement. What did I get in return?

“I didn’t hear you mention God in any of that,” espoused one woman. “I just believe that my life is led by God; I’ve seen him work so many miracles in my life. If God was really in this plan, it wouldn’t go the way you’re saying; it would go this way.” She then proceeded to lay out exactly what God’s plan would look like. I could take better consideration of this woman’s words if anything she said God said was going to make happen EVER. ACTUALLY. HAPPENED.

Another woman lambasted me over e-mail.

“Well, I wouldn’t move my family half way across the world without a direct word from God.”

Really? A direct word? What the heck does that mean anyway?? Is God supposed to open up the heavens, come down on an escalator, sit at my dinner table and say to me “Malaka, I and God and I want you to move half way across the world!”

I dunno. Maybe I’m just a little too pragmatic. I have a God-given brain. I don’t need God to tell me to brush my teeth. I don’t need God to tell me to send my kids to school. I don’t need God to tell me to get a job. I don’t need God to tell me whether or not to get my tubes tied: I live in a 2 bedroom house on a fixed income.

I do believe God speaks to certain people, but not as many as are running around claiming He’s talking to them…and I’m humble enough to admit my spiritual life is not strong enough to claim God speaks to me on any regular basis. I wish more people would do the same or shut up.

  • David S.

    Ah yes. In a related development, I also have had a revelation from God. It came to me this morning as I sat on the almighty porcelain throne. He has told me that some woman named Malaka is going to buy me a house. Over to you …

  • For real? Did he mention whether I would get a job or hit the lottery to pay for said house? Because that’s something I can believe in, O King of Poecelainia.

  • Malaka,
    God did not only speak to the prophets He spoke to Adam and Eve, their son Cain, Abraham, He spoke to Noah, He spoke to Lot, and so on and so forth. It did come to a point in the Old Testament that He did only speak to the prophets, but the death of Jesus Christ put an end to that. All of God’s children can hear from Him because Jesus, much like the prophets, is our link to God, our only link Him. God hasn’t changed or switched up, prophets weren’t any special type of people they were humans just like you and me, there are no need for prophets now because Jesus who lives inside of all His people is that link so God can speak freely to us through His word and the Christ in us.
    John 10:27
    “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me…”
    God hasn’t changed or switched up, prophets weren’t any special type of people they were humans just like you and me, there are no need for prophets now because Jesus who lives inside of all His people is that link so God can speak freely to us through His word and the Christ in us.
    -SALVATION and BLESSINGS!

    • Yeah April. I know. The point was some people are a little to quick to say that God told them ‘thus and so’ without actually investing the time to sort out if that was really the Almighty or their own delusions/ideas/emotions about a matter.

  • Yeah, I agree with that but I think you can tell whether God told them something or not by what that something is, when you know the true character of God you know what He would and would not tell someone. It’s kind of obvious. 🙂

  • hmmm…unfortunately Malaka, ppl r too hypocritical to admit such. they see it as, i must be better than you (spiritually) if God is speaking to me and he’s not doing the same to you. *sigh* stupid bunch of people