Trying to Raise a Socially Decent Child

I wanted to do a happy-happy post today; I did. But this is the second day in a row I’ve been called into my daughter’s school to discuss her “attitude” since she got back from her douche bag sire’s house this weekend. I swear, it’s like going back to 2007 all over again.

Until recently, Na has been doing phenomenal in school all year. She has been considerate to class mates,  quick to participate and respectful of her teachers. Enter Douche Bag with his court order and demands to begin unsupervised weekend visits this past April, and now I have had to have 3 meetings with her teachers about fits she’s been throwing in class when she doesn’t get “her way”. Did I see this coming? Of course I did.

When she was 2 1/2 she used to spend every other weekend with him. She was again, a model child until she started going over for extended visits. She would come home, refuse to obey simple commands, go to church and tear down other kids’ block towers in the nursery and just be disruptive…unexceptionably so. When I confronted Old Tired and Broke Ass about it, he said he had done nothing to her.

“I give her anything she wants, in fact,” he said proudly.

“That’s not good parenting,” I retorted. “She’s 2 1/2. She needs limits.”

I cut off weekend visits not too long afterward. Coupled with the fact that he owes me $12K in back child support, utilities and meals that I provided for both he and she when she did go to visit, I had no qualms about it at all.

I have no clue what goes on at his house now during his weekend visits, because he’s such a liar there would be no point in asking. All I know is my child comes back whining, emotionally regressed and quite frankly, a chore to deal with. A week into setting her straight and I have to send her back over to that country idiot’s house and start the process all over again.

I am trying to raise a brood of socially conscious and progressive youth, who hopefully in the future will become productive members of society. The failure I am experiencing with my first is disheartening, because there is a trickle down effect to my younger ones. I am a Black woman living in America. I can’t let my children fail. The stakes are too high, and the consequences too dire.

When Old Douche bag filed his court action to initiate visitation after five (count ’em FIVE) years of letting my husband and I hustle to secure the financial well being of “his child”, he stated it was in her “best interest to do so”. So far, I have not seen any evidence to support that proclamation. Every 2nd and 4th Friday, she asks me if she has to go to his house. I answer that she does, sadly.

“But I didn’t wish to go there,” she moans.

I am helpless to do anything about it. The State of Georgia says it’s in her “best interest” to go to a mentally inept, dishonorably discharged Marine corps man-whore’s home, who thinks it’s a good idea to slather a 5 year girl old with deodorant twice a month. Oh, and incidentally, he thinks it’s good parenting to give her whatever she wants and to sit at home all weekend watching The Incredibles (or Tha Incredables, as he spells it) and Princess and the Frog instead of picking up a book and perhaps furthering her Intelligence Quotient. But how could he be expected to do so? He’s an imbecile himself. God help me.

You see why I’m moving back to Africa???