The Origins of Ol' St Nick

I have no words. Ladies and Gentlemen, from the mind of my little brother, Sami Gyekye, I present to you this intriguing Christmas tale: The birth of Santa Clause.

On the very first Christmas, four Wise Men set off to deliver gifts to the baby Jesus. One of them read the memo wrong and went to the North Pole instead of following the North Star. There he found the evil Frost Queen and band of evil magi…cal Elf minions. As this was the first man she had encountered in centuries, she had her Elves capture him and forced him to marry her. “Oh, no”, he pleaded, “I must deliver my gift to a very special child today, please let me go.”

“Fine”, she responded. “But you will have to return to me once your quest is complete.”

To ensure this, she place upon him a magical, red suit which was impossible to remove. If he was not to return to her by the rising of the sun the next day, it would steadily get hotter and hotter, and periodically shock him until he did return. Agreeing to her terms, he picked up his gift and began to board her magical G6 elf jet. “What do you think you’re doing?,” she asked, “there’s no way you’re taking my jet out without me.” For her own personal amusement she conjured up a sleigh and some flying reindeer and sent him on his way. “This is some bull”, he exclaimed as he flew off. “Reindeer don’t even live up here in the North Pole. If I couldn’t take the jet, at least she could have had me drawn through the sky by something cooler.” Magical polar bears perhaps? “That ho, that ho, that ho, ho, ho…….

And thus began the legend of the man in the red suit who has acquired many aliases over time. So when you open your gifts today, say a prayer for the lost Wise Man who leaves the ice fortress once a year to deliver his gift of Joy to the world.

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus.