As a society, we’re all pretty nice people. The reason some folks are classified as ‘jerks’ and ‘douches’ is because they choose not to adhere to the niceties that the larger society imposes on the rest of us. I don’t know who came up with the unspoken rule that you just can’t walk up to a filthy individual with whom you happen to be sharing space and say the obvious: “Hey! You STINK. Why don’t you make a date with some Irish Spring and a hot shower tonight?” Instead, the polite, or politically correct thing to do, is to excuse yourself, move to a different location and PERHAPS inquire if said individual had a rough morning…as if insight into why said man/woman smells like a sack of moose balls is going to make the stink all the better.
So, what if we all said what we were thinking – exactly as we were thinking it? Would the world be a better place? Women claim they always want honesty and for men to ‘open up and share their minds’. I can tell you ladies, that that’s the last thing you want. A man’s mind is a dirty, dirty place. Hey! Let’s give it a go, shall we?
Real life: A man sees you in a restaurant. You’re all alone either because you’ve just broken up with someone, or you’re waiting on a friend to arrive, or you just like to have dinner alone. The reason doesn’t matter. You look hot, as in you’re impeccably dressed, not a hair out of place and you smell amazing. Some random dude walks by, stops, and asks if he can sit with you.
“Sure,” you reply noncommittally.
“I just had to tell you, you are a really attractive woman,” he begins. “Why are you sitting all alone.”
“Oh, I just like to enjoy a quiet evening from time-to-time,” you reply.
“What’s that you’re reading?”
“War and Peace.”
“Ahhh,” he says knowingly. “Shakespeare.”
Unabashedly, he continues.
“I’ve never read anything so voluminous. Do you have a book club? Perhaps I could join you in it? I’m always looking at new interests.”
“Sure!” you say in surprise. “We meet every Wednesday at Borders.”
You exchange numbers, he promises to see you later, and he relocates himself at another table.
The Non PC World: Same scenario – the guy walks up.
“Hey! I just had to tell you, you are really an attractive woman.”
“I was thinking, you might look really good naked. I’m totally lusting after you right now, and I’d like to take you back to my apartment and shag you. I call my bed the ‘Bat Cave’…on account that when I pull the covers over my head it looks like a cave…that and I have Bat Man sheets. So how ’bout it? Wanna screw?”
Because at the end of the day, isn’t that what a dude really wants? All this business about discovering your interests, likes and dislikes is just the padding to soften the blow when he eventually dumps you 2 weeks or 2 months later…however long it takes a woman to hand over the booty.
Or how about in corporate life? This is one that I’ve experienced since my return to corporate America.
My boss, who is English, has no hesitation when it comes to his role as a purveyor of ‘truth’. He recently asked me to write an article on pressure gauges, and some other program that the company has instituted. Proudly, I emailed him my copy and confidently requested his feedback.
“Stop by my desk when you have a moment,” was his response.
I walked in and took a seat after he waved me in. He put his forehead in his palm.
“This is a load of bollocks,” he moaned. “These diagrams look as though they are just thrown into the document, and tell no real story. Equally, these two sections need more substance. Please redo them.”
I’m a strong Black woman, so I didn’t cry…then. I felt like a 5 year old who had drawn a pretty picture for her mom and watched her piss on it and then burn it in contempt after I handed it to her.
Now, the more PC way for him to tell me that I had done a crap job would be:
“Hey Malaka! Good effort for your first try, but what i really had in mind was blah, blah, blah.”
Would that have spared my feelings? Absolutely. Would it have motivated me to do my best? Probably not. I’m more hesitant to go back to him with a document that is less than perfect now.
So what is your feeling, dear reader? Do we need more raw honesty in the world (even if it burns going down), or should we continue to be as politically correct as we’re being trained to be? I honestly don’t know.