Say what??

You’re 25. You should be having the time of your LIFE

I have writer’s block today, unfortunately. An incident at Dunkin’ Donuts this morning has my Mind all messed up, so I can’t search out a topic and craft any relevant (or irrelevant, as is usually the case) thought around it. So today, I’m going to share an email conversation I just had with one of my co-workers.

This girl is young, beautiful and employed.

She’s well paid.

She’s also blond, which means she shouldn’t have a care in the WORLD. As Chris Tucker aptly put it “There is not a white person in this room that would trade places with me, and I’m rich.” Her dilemma: She just broke up with her boyfriend 2 weeks ago, and just divorced her husband 6 months ago (after being married a whopping 3 months). Yesterday, she took the day off to “sort through” some things because she’s “stressed”. Stressed? Nigga please. I have 4 kids, am kinda-sorta employed and have no healthcare for ANY of my kids. That’s stress.

The girl just needs to go set down by h’self somewhere…and I told her so.


Me: Did you have a good day off Slackie?

Beckie: It was alright. It lasted forever but wore me out for some reason. I’ve been stressed lately so it almost seemed to have exhausted me more… 🙁 But it’s good… at least I don’t have to be here for another 5 days in a row.

Me:  Yes. Well, you do have that. Huh. Got stressed out ON your day off. You are truly the Master of the Impossible

Beckie: No, I was already stressed out before that and I was unable to get rid of it during the day off… totally different thing. 🙂

Me: Ooooooohhhhh….So you’re not as magical as I had assumed. I’ll just take that magic wand back – thank you!

Hope whatever’s stressing you out goes away. (And I actually mean that, not in that “I hope you don’t crash on the way home” way I usually mean.)

Beckie: No, unfortunately I’m not that magical… 🙁 Thank you, I appreciate that… It’s Bobby, so yeah, hopefully it does go away… 🙂

Me: You’re so mean! LOL!!

Beckie: How so? Because I called him an “it”? lol… He deserves SOOOOOOOOO much worse than that!!

Me: Now now. Bobby is somebody’s baby. How would you feel if some little blond huzzie came ‘round your house and started calling your boy  “it”? Hmmmm?

Mothers like me are the reason boys CAN’T become men.

Beckie: He isn’t anyone’s baby… his mama would look at him and roll her eyes and say “that’s what the hell you get… Screwing around… dumb @$$…” Now that’s a mean woman right there… but she’d be right!

Besides… I ain’t no huzzie… : )

Me: “Besides…I ain’t no huzzie…” Depends on who you ask! I’m just kiddin’, I’m just kiddin’. I should write country songs.

Well, at least you guys broke up…unless you got back together again.. in which case you DO have a reason to stress. If you guys are broken up, there’s no reason to take his calls or let him stress you. Treat him like a “friend”. Call him back when you get around to it.

Beckie:  We didn’t get back together but I still love him and want(ed) to be with him… I have every reason to believe that he is messing around with someone else although he won’t admit it… so I’m letting go, but it’s a process… I need someone else or something else to focus my attention on instead. That will help tremendously at least…

Me:  WHOA!!!

That’s a lot going on there. Yeah…you need a hobby. Angelina Jolie it up and work with orphans or something. Their misery will greatly eclipse yours…then you’ll be able to see life without Bobby ain’t half bad! After all, these kids have to go through life without parents.

Beckie: I know life without him won’t be half-bad… it probably won’t be bad at all actually… but it’s the “not having anything to do with my time” that kills me… I’m not a “do it by myself” type of person. You won’t see me in a restaurant or club or anywhere else by myself unless it’s a store or something, and even then, that doesn’t happen often. I don’t know how to be by myself… it’s too uncomfortable…

Me:  Yeah.  I used to be like that. I didn’t go to see my first movie alone until I was 23. I went to see Mulan…in Washington, DC. I was scared out of my mind.

Give it a try. Being alone is not as hard as you think. It forces you to become comfortable with your thoughts and truly get to know yourself. It’s when you don’t know yourself that people get over on you (I don’t know that anyone gets over on YOU, however). Start small. Try going to a movie, or to the book store, or to the museum alone. Places where it’s not odd to be by yourself. A restaurant, not so much.

Buddha has spoken.

Beckie: I will give it a try… thanks Buddha!

I watched “Eat, Pray, Love” last weekend… so now I’m wanting to travel by myself even more… 🙂

Me: Girl yeah! And then you don’t have to listen to anyone b!tchin’ about how they don’t want to see the Champs Elysees right now because the WWE is on. You’re in FRANCE. Why would you want to lay around and watch the WWE in a hotel in FRANCE??

Being alone is pretty awesome. One day, you’re not going to be alone. Ever. You’re going to have a husband and a bunch o’ kids and will never, ever, ever have any free/alone time. (Did I mention the word “never”?)

Capitalize on this wonderful time while you can. You’re 20-frikkin-5. You should be having the time of your life, whether you’re with someone or NOT.

Beckie: 🙂 Thanks girl! I appreciate that! I will definitely try to get out on my own… 🙂

Me:  Hey. No problem. If this were a movie, I’d be the elderly Black woman sitting on the front porch giving the heroine/main character of the film (that being you) advice that’s going to guide her on to bigger and better things. Unfortunately, I die in the end, but my words of wisdom live on through you.

Ain’t that a b**tch.

Beckie: LOL!!! OMG! LOL!! Nicely put…

There is a lesson somewhere in here; something about grass, greenery and fences. I dunno…Find it. I have writer’s block today, remember?