Have you read the news today?

The whole world has gone NUTS.

Africa in the News

Why is it that every time there is a story done on Africa, the quotes come from persons who “speak on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to speak to reporters”?  Can they never (ever) find anyone who has a prepared speech, or who is truly knowledgeable about the situation (usually a violent conflict) in Africa that is authorized to speak about the situation? I dunno, perhaps like a press secretary?

Mommy is a synonym for Alcoholic  

I came across this in the news today: Vintners are suing each other to trademark the use of the word “mommy” on their wine labels. Apparently, overworked moms are the new hottest demographic for large corporations to target and peddle their wares to – and by ‘peddling’ I mean ‘exploiting mom fatigue and frustration so that they can sell a couple hundred more bottles of wine’.

The owners of “Mommy’s Time Out” are suing the makers of “Mommyjuice”. Apparently, Mommy’s Time Out thinks they have a monopoly on the name. I wish they would sue my kids.

The front label of Mommyjuice features a drawing of a woman juggling a house, teddy bear and computer. The back label advises moms to “tuck your kids into bed, sit down and have a glass of Mommyjuice. Because you deserve it.” The wine is available in a white Chardonnay and a red mixed blend.

The front label of “Mommy’s Time Out,” an Italian wine sold in red and white, shows an empty chair facing a corner. A wine bottle and glass sit on a table next to the chair.

I wonder which of these companies is going to take responsibility when there is an increase in violent crime and abuse towards children, stemming from weeks of mommy’s wine fueled binges? No takers? I didn’t think so.

Disbelief at Their Disbelief

The Pope is apparently lamenting the decline of ‘belief’ in the West.

“Have not we — the people of God — become to a large extent a people of unbelief and distance from God?” he said during a ceremony in St. Peters Basilica.

“Is it perhaps the case that the West, the heartlands of Christianity, are tired of their faith?”

Naw Benny, I don’t think people are tired of their faith or are even bored with it…but I’m pretty sure they’re fed up with the Church shuffling pedophiles from parish to parish and refusing to prosecute and punish the monsters who hide behind the frock. I have yet to hear the Church make a repeated impactful statement regarding the continued and scandalous abuse of children – however, I did see a commercial on TV that was done so well that I considered abandoning my evangelical leaning and join the Catholic Church.

Is that #Failure or #Winning? I can’t be sure…

The Price of Chocolate is Increasing

Here’s the problem: I talk too much. I ascended my soap box and opined concerning the spiraling price of gas, apparently attributed to the unrest in the Middle East and to the war in Libya.

“Uh huh. You see that? The Arabs act up for 2 weeks, and my gas goes from $2.50/gallon to $4.20! Ivory Coast has a decade old dictator in place, has been engaged in unrest for months, and my Kit Kat is still 70 cents! It’s racism, racism I tell you! When the commodity in question is sourced by the Black man, no one gives a crap, because our spilled blood shouldn’t mean a change for the rest of the world’s life style!”

(For those of you who don’t know, Ivory Coast is the world’s largest cocoa producer; Libya only produces 2% of the world’s oil.)

Indignant, I went on this rant for weeks…and now the price of my Kit Kat is increasing. A whole TEN bloody cents! In the world of sweets and candies, that’s not a gradual increase; that’s price gouging!

So, as I prepare to cut back my Kit Kat consumption from one a day to one a week, I pray for peace in the world. Let’s find some qualified African PR professionals, and keep mom off the bottle, save our kids from the booty bandits and enjoy a reasonably priced piece of candy. Let’s get the world back in order.