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A wedding anniversary lesson from my shoes

Yesterday Marshall and I celebrated our 6th wedding  anniversary. I spent the first half of the weekend clearing out old shoes that have accumulated in my closet over the course of 10+ years. Each one had its own memory. Some people collect stamps – I collect shoes. Caroline had come over to watch the children for us while we went to a marriage conference at our church for the weekend,

“I used to wear these with a red and black floral dress,” I said pointing to a pair of black T-strap sandals. And I used to wear these all the time work…when I was thin, single and had some money.”

My face advertised the disappointment I was (apparently) feeling. Six years into my marriage, and I was still lamenting the loss of my life as a single woman. My kids were throwing our freshly laundered clothes onto the floor and mashing Cheerios into them. I didn’t even care. All I could focus on at the moment were my carefully selected companions that I was about to toss into a Goodwill bin, as though our years together meant absolutely nothing.

“Well, this is a new life you have, Malaka,” Caroline said. “It’s a new beginning. You shouldn’t be sad on your anniversary day!”

I peered at my shoes again. In just 6 short years, I had progressively gone from a size 9 to size 10, my feet getting bigger with each child. As I looked at the soles of the 9s, I was suddenly struck by how dusty and worn out they were…some of them to the point of near disintegration. I had danced, run, sauntered, shopped and picnicked in these shoes. I had gone on dates in some, and had my heart broken in at least a few others. But all of that was behind me now, and I had neither use for many of those memories nor many of those shoes. In a fiat, I felt the strength to let them go.

What use are 6” platform heels at the zoo anyway?

This article has 5 comments

  1. A-dub

    This is actually rather sad. I shed a tear for you and your shoes…

  2. Harriet

    Nostalgia aside, happy anniversary, ms lady.

  3. Morocco

    Happy Anni! I love shoes, too and just got rid of a bunch. All you are doing is creating space for more new shoes to come join the others:)

  4. runrettarun

    Happy anniversary, Malaka! We celebrated our anniversary yesterday. 🙂 You can protect yourself from other peoples’ children w/ those hooker heels! On the real, I love my hooker heels. I take them off as soon as I get to work. They punish me for my vanity.

  5. Malaka

    Thank you one and all! It was actually a really good anniversary. But I do take this as an opportunity to purchase more shoes – it the RIGHT THING to do. 🙂

    @3xR – Happy anni to you and the LOVER! 8 years…whoa. I aspire to be you.

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