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Attracted To Black Women? Then You're Gay!!

The title sounds completely outlandish, doesn’t it? I mean, what an as(s)inine thing to say! Well, this seems to be the week for people who generally talk out of their asses to take center stage – the largest of which is Satoshi Kanazawa, a racist, bigoted misogynist with a number of fancy degrees from the UK. Satoshi, it seems, does not like Black women; nope. Doesn’t like us at all. We are genetic “mutants” . He said so in his article in Psychology Today, entitled: Why Black Women are (Rated) Less Physically Attractive than other Races.

Every 3 to 5 years, some scientist/social psychologist/medical professional – and even a random politician or two – comes up with new evidence to support their doctrine of presumed Black inferiority which says that Black people – and Black women in particular – are impossibly mediocre, be it intellectually, physically, fiscally…whatever. I hadn’t realized the hour hand had swept past our period of reprieve, and the time had come for Society/Science to re-up on the psychological beat down that Black women have been made to endure since, I dunno, slavery. Thus, I was ill prepared for Satoshi’s comments which include:

“The only thing I can think of that might potentially explain the lower average level of physical attractiveness among black women is testosterone.  Africans on average have higher levels of testosterone than other races, and testosterone, being an androgen (male hormone), affects the physical attractiveness of men and women differently.  Men with higher levels of testosterone have more masculine features and are therefore more physically attractive.  In contrast, women with higher levels of testosterone also have more masculine features and are therefore less physically attractive.  The race differences in the level of testosterone can therefore potentially explain why black women are less physically attractive than women of other races, while (net of intelligence) black men are more physically attractive than men of other races.”

Man. And I had just begun to feel pretty good about myself this week. I had to tell my husband…he had married a man.

“Babe…you’re gay.”

“What???”

“Yes. Did you not read the article by the Japanese dude this week? The one where he said Black people had some weird genome load and all Black women were less attractive THAN OTHER RACE OF WOMEN ON THE PLANET? Oh yeah. The one that says we have more testosterone, making us androgynous, and therefore making you gay. You like men…because I am a man.”

Marshall leaned in an kissed me quietly.

“That’s not true,” he said. “Now what do you want for dinner.”

I love this man for a reason.

Here’s the crux of the matter: Satoshi needs to be stripped of all his degrees, honorary and otherwise and go back to school. He clearly learned nothing concerning research, compilation of data, and empirical presentation of that data. A quick look into the history of how this article was fashioned will reveal the following: Japanese dude, who already harbors a racist bias, traipses down to a university (which is coincidentally south of the Mason-Dixon line) to ask some college kids (who have very little world experience outside of what TV and their friends tell them) who is hotter: Loretta Devine or Lisa Ling or Lauren Conrad.

And that’s supposed to be “science”? That’s supposed to represent the pinnacle of academia? Give me a break.

At the end of the day, who really gives two sashimi sandwiches what Satoshi thinks? The subject of beauty is subjective, and his opinion of me, my race or my sex has as much importance as what Bin Laden was planning on having for dinner this week. It doesn’t matter. I mean, this was the man who penned such thought provoking articles as Are All Women Essentially Prostitutes? 

You know the good thing about God? The good thing about God is this: When Jesus died on the cross and hung out for a few weeks before heading back to Heaven, he didn’t look down on his disciples and say “Ei y’all! Don’t you fret. I’m leaving, but I’ll be sending you a Comforter to take my place…his name is Satoshi Kanazawa.”

It is only in Satoshi’s world that full lips and wide hips are “masculine features”; that a full bosom and a swaying backside are the result of an over abundance of testosterone. The man is clearly an idiot, because I am SO hot.

Photo courtesy of The Fabulous Akuba Sheen(!)… unedited, un-retouched, and taken within several sweaty minutes of chasing Stone around the ‘hood.