Been in the Closet too long: I’m Coming out Geek

I knew something was terribly off when Charter Communications began to pare down services and channel options for its ‘valued customers’ while charging them the same rates 2 years ago. They started with channels I hardly watched – CSPAN and the like – but when they took away G4 my disappointment gave way to full blown fury. G4 would play a mini Star Trek marathon every night from 8 – 11 pm, and I would feel my day’s worries melt away and disappear as I intently watched Captain Picard fight to restore order to the galaxy many light years away. (And to answer your question: Yes, I think Wharf if hot. *Sizzle!!*)

Suddenly, my bliss was ripped from me…like a virgin’s precious pearl is ripped from her unwilling thighs.

But why was so morose, so sullen, so suddenly lost? Could I be *gasp* a nerd? Nah, I couldn’t be. I wasn’t socially gauche enough to be considered a nerd. I had to be something other than your “average” Black chick, though. A denied desire to watch quality programming was not enough to explain my despondency at having it taken away from me. This behavior was clearly a-typical of my sex and breed.

Then 5 nights ago, something snapped within me. I was lying in my bed staring blankly at the sterile white ceiling when I felt a stirring in my soul:

Thunder – Thunder – Thunder Cats…HOOOOO!!!

 I casually went to my handy rebuttal tool, i.e. the internet, to see what Lion-O and the gang were up to and what they Eye of Thundera had to show us mortals these days. To my surprise and pleasure, I discovered that Cartoon Network would be airing a revamped version of the Thunder Cats in modern anime style, focusing on Lion-O’s early life as a teenager on Thundera.

Oh sweet mercy. Could it be??

I could scarcely believe it…. and nearly creamed my pants.

Foolishly, I had mistaken the rousing in my spirit for simple nostalgia, when in fact it was a clarion call from my beloved Cats. Then it dawned on me: here was the answer! This call was evidence enough that I was connected to the Great Geek Spirit. I was not a nerd – I was…I AM a geek.

Declaring and discovering one’s social orientation is not always as cut and dry and one would prefer or assume. It’s not always black and white. Sometimes there are shades of gray. I have nerd tendencies, but I’m not 100% nerd. Sometimes I straddle the fence. When I relayed the enlightenment tale to my husband, he said that he had known it all along, and that I have long been in denial.

“You just need to come out as a nerd,” he encouraged with a haughty laugh.

“Yes, declare my nerduality,” I murmured. “Or geekiality, rather.”

For the next two nights, we basked in a new Geek Glow, discovering fresh elements in The Lord of The Rings that we had previously overlooked, and reading high fantasy to one another. It was an awakening; an enchanting experience. This morning however, he thrust a small pin into my enchanted bubble:

“You must now begin to post content and comment on fantasy blogs to be a real geek,” he cautioned. “If you don’t tweet about it, Facebook about or falter in anyway concerning all things manga and anime, you’re not a true geek – You’re just a poser.”

He spat the last word as if even speaking it placed a foul taste in his mouth.

I have taken his warning to heart, and begin my geek re-orientation by attending Dragon Con this year when I get back to Atlanta. No one will ever accuse me of posing!

I know there are others out there just like me, hiding in the shadows and gallows of the Twitterverse and their own shame. Come out! Join me! Let our collective voices be loud and unsilenceable!  GeekPride Day anyone? No? Too soon? Ok…I can wait.

Live long and prosper, Reader. Live long and prosper.

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13 thoughts on “Been in the Closet too long: I’m Coming out Geek

  1. A-dub

    Please realize that there are different levels of Geek. You my dear, are still in the bottom rung. JUst attending Dragon Con (where I shall be joining you in celebration of true-geeks) does not automatically give you your geek card. There are various tests you have to pass. I myself have had points taken off my card taken from time to time. I am slowly getting them back. For starters – you must buy atleast ONE item from thinkgeek.com!!!! Another! You need to know the difference between anime and cartoons! We shall discuss more on this later. I am still on the fence about you. I think you are just a poser!

  2. Malaka Post author

    I did buy something from thinkgeek.com…for you and/or your son if I recall correctly! Humph! I accept my novice level, and hope to soon advance to intermediary. I shall see you at Dragon Con. The Eye of Salron is upon you!!

    Oh wait, you left that job. You’re straight.

    1. Malaka Post author

      Toyah Bean!!! WHAT UP dude!! You coming to Dragon Con too? Anyone who’s as interested in polymers as you are belongs no where else.

  3. Malaka Post author

    Pretty awesome. We’re off to explore the rest of the Whole White World tomorrow. Heading to Cape Town. Gonna see some penguins, the bottom of the world, a shark or two…good times, good times.

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