Ford Flex – The Obsession

As much time as I spend thinking about the Ford Flex, I was surprised to look through my titles and discover that I have NEVER (ever?) written about the Flex! Let me just tell you:

I love that car.

I test drove one in May and was immediately smitten. It was love at first acceleration. What I love most about the Flex is that it’s extremely versatile, which translates into an inability to pass judgment on the driver by the body of the vehicle. For instance, when I see an Odyssey, or a Voyager, or a Caravan, I immediately can assume that the person sitting behind the wheel is a woman between the ages of 32-48, has 3.4 kids, is carting around little Zip Lock baggies of Cheerios and is herself eating (and therefore smelling like) cottage cheese. I’m generally right 98.8% of the time. I can’t account for the other 1.2%. With the Flex on the other hand, either a hot 20-something bachelor OR the afore mentioned cottage-cheese-fragranced woman could emerge from the vehicle. You never can tell. The car is just that enigmatic.

Bearing my Flex Feelings in mind, I wrote to the company to share my appreciation…which some have dubbed an “obsession”. I can hardly see how that’s possible, since I haven’t tattooed the word “flex” across my left butt cheek (yet). I also decided to follow Ford Motor Company on Twitter. To my delight, a playful banter between me and some person with the moniker “SA” ensued. I informed them that I was so in love with the Flex that I would break dance for a chance to drive one for a year. Now, there are two things one must know in regards to this offer 1) I don’t dance, let alone break dance. 2) I have about as much rhythm as beheaded chicken. This offer was sincere and costly one indeed.


So impressed was Customer Service with my smooth moves that they insisted that I go test drive a Flex.

 Contact the Marketing Dept at 800.334.4375 to find out about available incentives & sched a test drive… said their tweet. They’ll have great info available for you. Meanwhile, keep #breakin! 🙂 ^SA

Giddy with anticipation, I quickly dialed the number and set up the appointment with a really friendly rep for October 10th at 11 am. It pretty much went down hill from there. I don’t want to go into the details, but you know that feeling that you get when you walk into a fancy establishment, like Nieman Marcus, clothed in nothing better then some dusty dungarees and mismatched flip flops? The glares of disdain upon your arrival at the door are piercing enough to cause you wince and flee in pain. That essentially sums up today’s experience. Keep in mind, I went the extra mile made sure that I looked very nice today for my impending Flex spin. I even shaved my legs…which I generally don’t do in the Fall. The contempt, therefore, was unwarranted in light that I was sporting glistening – and recently shorn – limbs.

To add insult to being ignored (I didn’t have the opportunity to receive injury because I was so completely disregarded as a customer), Liya fell and busted her lip on the showroom floor! Caroline had accompanied me, and as she gathered my wailing (and profusely bleeding) one year old, the sales men and the receptionist silently shooed us out with dismissive glances.  The GSM that we were supposed to have met had run off to Race Track to buy a snack – we were told – and suddenly materialized as we were packing the kids into the car.

“When can you reschedule?” he asked expectantly.

How about half past probably never? I thought as I met his gaze.

“I’ll see if I can make time this afternoon,” I replied instead. It wasn’t his fault his co-workers were so frosty and unwelcoming.

*Sigh*. 🙁 I’m still a Flex Fan, but I’ll probably be doing my shopping from CarMax, the only place I seem to be able to get friendly service and successfully test drive. Hmmmmm…I wonder if they’d like me to break dance for them as well?