Counting the Duggar Kids

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone on a hard core rant – but here it is:

Who CARES how many kids the Duggars have?!?!

It’s not often that I get a chance to sit around and watch the morning “news”, but today I had the rare occasion to stumble upon Better Mornings Atlanta on CBS, featuring some folks that are unfamiliar to me. The panel was discussing low fat Thanksgiving dishes and other inconsequential factoids when they abruptly segued into the topic of the Duggar family.

For all my international readers, the Duggars are on a reality TV show here in the States called ‘X number of kids and Counting’. They started at something like ’15 kids and counting’ and every year they’ve added a new one. We now find them at 20.

Of course, this being America, everyone has an opinion concerning the way other people live their lives.

“Why would she do that?” asked Jennier Valdez, the Hispanic looking anchor.

Then she made some glib and bitchy comment about Michelle Duggar never being able to wear a bikini because this area (rubs hands from breast to navel) was all “messed up”. The more seasoned anchor (or at the least the one with some better sense) replied that clearly Mr. Duggar didn’t need to see his wife in a bikini to feel attracted to her. She shot Jennifer a look with a smile that said “shut your mouth and let it go.” Jennifer clearly didn’t get it.

“I dunno!” she mulled in her ignorant 20-somehting voice. “I just think that at a certain number of kids, it’s enough. I just feel like every child deserves a certain level of love and attention from their parents.”

“And maybe the kids are getting that love from their siblings…” another anchor attempted to interject.

“But not from their PARENTS,” Jennifer finished. “I just think, like 5 kids, is enough.”

You. Stupid. WHORE.

Who are YOU to determine how big or how small any one’s family should be? And what is this garbage about not being able to provide your kids with attention because there’s “20 of them” in the house? What about the people with ONE kid who are neglectful because they are focused on the pursuit of their careers, their religion, their boyfriend or any other pursuit that has nothing to do with that one kid?! What a shallow ditz!

After she had spoken her piece, she got up to do the weather and I changed the channel. If it was going to rain, I didn’t want to hear it from her judgmental lips. Perhaps in her opinion, we are about get too much rain in the metro area and our crops and grass wouldn’t be able to handle it all!

What a complete imbecile.

Here’s why this has my knickers in a tight, knotted twist:

I have several friends who have 4 or more kids, myself included. The family in our circle with the most number of kids is 7, and to me, that seems a lot. But it doesn’t matter what my opinion is, because each of those kids is either in college, or on track to go to college; has been fostered to develop a sport, musical ability or dance; is incredibly intelligent; and finally, has not suffered a lack of care or devotion from their parents.

Similarly, I have only (and I use the term “only” loosely) four children, much to the dismay of half of White Roswell. When I’m out with the kids, I am often confronted with a pink-haired old lady gasping:

“Oh my GOD. How do you manage it all? You must be so EXUASTED.”

And yeah, I am. But not any more or less exhausted than I was when I was out partying or playing a sport, or running around town on errands for friends when I was single. It’s just a different type of tired.

Reader, have you ever had someone offer you an unsolicited opinion on something so personal that it sets you into a rage? and I’m not talking about whether your shoes and belt match…I’m talking about deeply personal topics.

“You shouldn’t have had your kids so close together.”

“You shouldn’t have gotten a degree in basket weaving.”

“Why on earth would you ever opt to get dreadlocks? They’re so ugly and unprofessional!”

Why is it that these “groundbreaking” opinions are never followed by a check to finance the subject of offense? Because overly-opinionated people are stingy except where their opinion is involved!

The fact is, none of the Duggar kids is on the corner slinging crack or selling their bodies for drugs. They don’t depend on the government for ANY type of assistance. They too are well spoken, well educated, and have been immersed in the arts. They have a loving  family, and how many diapers or linens this woman has to change day in and day out has nothing to do with Jennifer Valdez, you or I.  Now, I personally would never make the choice to have 20 kids, but it was just that: HER choice.

In closing, I would like to firmly recommend that Jennifer stick to what she was hired to do – and that is to read a teleprompter, wave her hands around the green screen behind her, report the weather and leaving the thinking to people with more developed grey matter. Nobody likes to be disturbed by the sound of marbles rattling around in a rusty tin can first thing in the morning. That would make it a “Better Morning”.

  • Nana Afoah

    Wow, Malaka! It looks like our friend, Jennifer, really got you going. But you’re right, she’s an idiot and should stick to her day job! Wrt to the Duggars, what amazes me is how calm the mother is. I only have 3 and I’m not calm AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

    • See that’s what I’m saying! Every body and their own wahala. After a certain point you learn how to deal with the stress and aparently HER kids don’t stress her! It’s like anything else in life. Some folks don’t see the value in marriage, other people act like they will die if they don’t get a mate. Who is one to tell the other they are wrong or crazy? Jennifer can kiss my left cheek. Foolish girl.

  • David S.

    Were it not for your article, I would have no freaking clue who the Duggars are, and what is “Better Mornings Atlanta”? It sounds like a corny play on Good Morning America. Clearly I’m not missing anything sticking to Hulu and DVR for my TV needs.

    I have discovered that no matter how you choose to live your life, there is someone out there who thinks that the way their life is the “right” way. You get people criticizing you for having four children. I get it for being in my mid thirties and unmarried. I once had to a woman who tried to cheat on her husband with her best friend’s boyfriend tell me that I am “missing out on a lot of happiness” because I am “taking too long” to have kids. I’ve had to listen to unemployed people tell me that they think I “wasted my life” by choosing a career in technology.

    Last year, a taxi driver in Accra told me that as I am still in my thirties, I have only heard a fraction of the stupidity that I am going to hear before I die. I believe he was right.

    But before I go, seriously? Better Mornings Atlanta? Is that really the name of the show? That title bothers me almost as much as the woman’s comments.

  • NM

    LOL! Here’s hoping my comment via email this morning didn’t help create one of the knots in your knickers. My ‘who would want to have 20 children?’ query had more to do with where does one find the time to take care of all those kids than it did Mrs Duggar’s body colletral damage. 4(which is the most I’ve watched at a time completely overwhelmed me)

    But what do I know, I don’t have children so perhaps some Mum’s are equipped with the patientence it takes to have 20 children and counting(at least for this family).

    & yes

  • NM

    …the last sentence was meant to read…& yes Jennifer’s opinion was shallow.

  • @David: Yes ooo! Better Mornings Atlanta! How unimaginative. And they have the nerve to pass judgment on other people. Msteewwww. Sia!

    Side note: the more time I spend with Ghana taxi drivers, the more highly I regard their ilk!

    @NM: Oh no, no, no. My knickers were twisted long before your email. This fool’s foolishness didn’t even leave room for me to consider anything else.

  • NM

    LOL!! The errors in my post are proof positive that I am not equipped to handle more than one child at a time. Hats off to the Duggar family!