May 2012 | Mind of Malaka

Unleashing My Inner Florence Johnston

Posted on May 30, 2012
by Malaka
with 9 Comments

Before she was a BAWSE on 227, Marla Gibbs played Florence Johnston, George and Wezzie’s snarky housekeeper on The Jefferson’s. I knew George was a bit of a douche and not a nice guy over all, but as a child watching the show, I never…

Motherhood

Blackwatch

Posted on May 29, 2012
by Malaka
with 4 Comments

I was a magnificent sight to behold. You should have seen me: svelte and toned, my body was in the best shape it had ever been in. All those hours and weeks of dogged determination and completing my Insanity program had paid off. My breasts…

Motherhood

Black Parenting Fail Week

Posted on May 22, 2012
by Malaka
with 6 Comments

Last week Marshall and I went to Ray’s on the River for lunch to celebrate our anniversary. Ray’s is located in Vinings, a very shwanky suburb of Atlanta. (And you have to say it just like that: shhwankyyy.) I thought I had been to Ray’s…

Madness

What’s The Grossest Thing You Saw This Weekend? Bet I Can Top It.

Posted on May 21, 2012
by Malaka
with 5 Comments

Happy Monday one and all. I worked a 13 hour day yesterday, so I’ve put the kids in daycare, and am kicking back by plucking my chin hairs and lancing my whiteheads. “Ewww”, you say? You haven’t even heard the worst yet. Let’s open up…

Musings

So…When is Your Next Blog Again?

Posted on May 16, 2012
by Malaka
with 9 Comments

Dude. This is more of a Hump Day rant than an actual ARTICLE, so just be forewarned. There is so much I want to write about that I don't even know where to begin. The trouble is, none of it is funny (at least not…

Madness

Can You Be Honest With Your Friends?

Posted on May 9, 2012
by Malaka
with 25 Comments

My sister is a person whom one might define as socially awkward. While neither of us possess the gift of tact, I have become slightly more adept a maneuvering unfamiliar social situations, whereas she avoids them wherever and whenever possible. We both have the same…

Marriage

Taking Cues from Couple Watching

Posted on May 8, 2012
by Malaka
with 8 Comments

All I wanted to do was fart; but I couldn’t. We were in sophisticated company and it wouldn’t do to let one rip out there on the elevated terrace of JCT Kitchen in the heart of Midtown. The Garners had invited us out for a…

Motherhood

These People Want Me to Face the Firing Squad, Eh?

Posted on May 4, 2012
by Malaka
with 7 Comments

*I typically reserve Friday for frivolity, HOWEVER (!) this one di333, I have to speak on it! Prepare yourself for Bush Woman Mode! When you’re a parent, life will bring you a whole host of ‘firsts’, as long as you have a child in your…

Motherhood

My Five Year Old Likes to do Hair

Posted on May 3, 2012
by Malaka
with 3 Comments

In case you missed it earlier this week, the interwebs were thrown into a tizzy when a mommy blogger wrote about her four year old daughter’s fascination with make-up. As your humble media servant, I have done you a favor and posted the link here…

Motherhood

A Very WIC-y Situation

Posted on May 2, 2012
by Malaka
with 5 Comments

I emptied my groceries from my cart and laid them onto the conveyor belt to check out. I had dutifully separated them as the guidelines required. In the past, when I had my WIC approved groceries mixed in with the items I actually wanted, the…