Hats Off to YOU, Creflo Dollar!

…or should I say “shoe off”?

Whatever the case may be – Parents! I want you to reach down to your right foot and take off  your Stacey Adams, your Kelly & Katies, your China made chaley wote and raise it in the air in solidarity with me. Look at your child(ren) and say the following:

Yes chile… if you keeping popping off at the  mouth, I will pop your mouth off!

The news here in Atlanta is all abuzz because Creflo Dollar, pastor of World Changers Church International was arrested for domestic assault/abuse. The ‘victim’ was his 15 year old daughter who wanted to go to a party.

Let’s just stop right there, because if you have kids, ever watched a kid, or BEEN a kid yourself, you already know what happened.
First, please let me share with you my personal feelings about Creflo Dollar before I move forward with my feelings concerning these turns of events.  I was “introduced” to Creflo when I first moved to Atlanta 12 years ago by a would-be colleague.

“You never heard of Creflo Dollar?” she asked incredulously. “Well, I used to go to his church, but I just felt like it was too much hypocrisy in there.”

“How so?” I asked, intrigue permeating my every thought.

“Humph,” she grumbled. “Well, you have people rolling up into his church with Bentleys and Benzos, and then you got other folk in there who can’t even pay their light bill! I just feel like it’s too much hypocrisy.”

She looked at me expectedly. Was this my cue to nod? Because I didn’t. If you can’t pay your light bill, then buy some candles. I grew up underprivileged, and there is nothing I have today that I haven’t worked for or wasn’t given to me as a direct bonus of some work I have done previously. So yeah…but, NO. The woman’s other gripe was that Creflo himself was quite wealthy.

“I just don’t think it’s right for a pastor to have that much money!” she wailed.

What? Does the Bible say that? Short answer: no. The Bible says that it is “difficult for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven”, but nowhere does it say that a godly man cannot be rich…or that heaven excludes the rich by virtue of their income status. Stingy people come in all economic brackets, from dirt poor to stinking rich. It is the heart of a man that gets or keeps him out of heaven, not his money. Having more money just amplifies the stinginess that is in one’s heart. I know beggars who won’t share a space on their mat with less fortunate beggars because they are just wicked people. Creflo Dollar, in comparison, has given millions of dollars away in charity and set up education and job creation vehicles for the disenfranchised through his ministry. So all the idiots who dislike him for being wealthy can continue to dislike him. I haven’t heard one YET confess that they would give money away to people that they don’t know outside of their immediate circle.

So do I like Creflo Dollar? Yes I do. He preaches the Bible and does not harm others…until last night. And with that, we head back to our story, which you can read here.

Now, I have conferred with the Panther Mom Network, and we have determined EXACTLY what happened that fateful evening.  We’re going into M.O.M Mode Folks!

*****

It was an otherwise quiet Thursday evening, but a spirit of disquiet had been rumbling throughout the house. Quarter Dollar, Creflo and Taffi’s youngest had been yipping at the heels of the family and being spiteful all day. Weary from dealing with the child, Taffi retired to her 1200 square foot bedroom suite. (I know it is a suite, because I clean rich people’s houses now, remember?)

“Honey, I have to get away from this child, because if I don’t, I swear ‘fore the Lord I’m going to snatch her!” she said menacingly between thin lips.

“It’s okay babe,” replied Creflo, “I got this.”

Taffi saunters off and Creflo turns to his daughter.

“Look Quarter, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you are stressing your mother out,” he scolds. “You know we have so much going on! We’ll planning a mission trip for the next disaster coming this summer…because you KNOW God is displeased so there IS one coming…and I have to deal with all these crazy people flocking from Eddie’s church with all their demons and issues!”

“Daddy,” snarls Quarter, “that is YOUR life! I don’t care about any of that!”

“Adjust your tone, young lady,” he advises.

“I’m so bored in this house,” she continues saucily. “I need to get away. There’s a party tonight, and I want to go.”

Creflo looks at his beautiful daughter. The one he has prayed over since birth, sent to the best schools and clothed in the best garments. Her skin is glowing and healthy, a result of a good balanced diet and her legs are strong and shapely, also thanks to many years spent running in their expansive backyard playing games with friends. Now she is too “grown” to throw a ball or a Frisbee and she wants to enter the adult world. But she is fifteen. He understands. He really does. Just because he is a pastor does not make him inhuman. He looks sternly, but lovingly at his young child.

“No,” he replies curtly. “You cannot go. You can’t drive, for one, and if you are going with someone who CAN drive, you have no business hanging out with them anyways. Nothing good happens after 10 o’clock. Publix closes at 9:30, and so does your social time.”

Quarter’s eyes flash. She mutters something under her breath and spins around on her heel.

“What did you say?” calls Creflo after her.

The child is intelligent enough not to reply. Sadly, she is not smart enough to restrain herself from doing what she does next.

*****

It’s 1:00 am and Taffi and Creflo can’t sleep. Pastors and their wives rarely rest…at least the good ones don’t. They take their spiritual responsibilities very seriously and spend many late nights pouring over new ventures, ideas, and a plethora of “prophesies” from wackos who think they are hearing from someone on the other side of Jordan.

“Let’s take a break,” suggests Creflo to his wife. “Jesse DuPlantis is coming on soon. Let’s have a snack and watch him for a bit.”
Taffi smiles.

“I’d like that. I’ll make some tea. You get the cheese and crackers.”

The house is quiet and they pad downstairs, not wanting to wake Quarter and Cousin Ruckus. As they enter the kitchen, they are surprised to see a shadowy figure disarming the alarm. A female figure darts past them.

“Quarter?” gasps Taffi, who is horrified by what she sees.

Her young daughter is clad in sparkly booty shorts and a mid-riff bearing top. Her ears are sparkling with her mother’s $20,000 diamond teardrop earrings,  a gift from her husband for their 20 year wedding anniversary. Taffi feels her jaw tighten. An ungodly guttural sound gurgles from deep within her belly, surging its way past her lips. Quarter is defiant.

“Whatchu gonna do, Ma?” she says tauntingly. “You better not touch me….’cause I’ll call the police!”

The blogs were right. Quarter HAD earned her reputation as a little skank. Taffi lunges for her lippy daughter and Creflo extends his arm to block her advance. He whips around and glares at this 15 year old girl who has the gall to speak to his wife that way.

“Quarter, I’m going to give you one opportunity to make this right. Apologize to your mother, go upstairs, wash that CRAP off your face and get in bed,” he says in measured tones. “You clearly aren’t leaving my house dressed like that.”

“Oh yeah?” sasses Quarter. “We’ll see about that!”

She reaches out her hand and pushes her dad in the chest to get past him. The contact of her little fonky, bony hand to his body in defiance makes something primal snap within him. His well of patience has run dry. Suddenly his bedroom slipper is off his foot and he is beating his child with it. In mid spank, he blacks out. When he comes to, the police at his door and he’s being arrested. Great. Fox News and dem are going to loooove this.

*****

 Creflo Dollar: If you can hear me, I just want you to know I stand WITH you! I myself had to pull off the interstate on the way back from DC to beat my kids with my shoe. Yes I did. Stopped a 2 ton vehicle going 80/mph so I could reach in the back and smack my two girls with my flip flop for fighting and disturbing our drive. Because sometimes, brother Creflo, you gotta beat your kids to save their lives. Who knows what would have happened that night? The news might have been entirely different.

Quarter Dollar, daughter of megachurch Pastor Creflo Dollar found naked and selling her body for doughnuts at local Jewish eatery.

Now how would THAT look?

Nah, man. Free Creflo Dollar! Free Creflo Dollar! He did nothing better than what any other GOOD parent would have done. The child literally only had one scratch. Send her up to Big Momma’s house and let her play up like that. A scratch would be the least of her concerns.

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25 thoughts on “Hats Off to YOU, Creflo Dollar!

  1. Cynthia

    You’ve got TALENT!!!! Thanks for sharing and Lord help all of us with our children!

    1. Malaka Post author

      Amen! Girls like Quarter are a parents worst nightmare, not because of their actions, but because they lack the ability to anticipate the results of their actions.

      For every action there is an equal or greater reaction, and MY reaction as a parent would be to send your behind somewhere else! I mean, she didn’t call a friend or her mom: she called THE POLICE. If you feel so unsafe here, go live in a group home. BYE. Little ungrateful wench.

  2. Nana A

    Go Creflo Dollar! And Lord help us indeed! Sometimes, you just never know with these kids!

  3. David S.

    I don’t like Creflo Dollar’s theology. I would never attend his church. However that is neither here nor there because I disagree with all pastors who preach prosperity theology.

    I DO agree in principle with what the man was trying to do with his daughter. I just don’t agree with how he went about it. Simply put, he lost it, and for that he has to ask God for forgiveness.

    I don’t have kids yet. I am very much in favor of corporal punishment for kids. I believe parents should hit their kids when they are disrespectful and they should start it at a very young age so that the kids never get the chance to learn disrespectful behaviour. But I will personally not be hitting my kids regularly. I won’t be doing that because I know that by nature I have a high temper and I can get into a white hot rage if I am pushed the right way. Unless I train myself to only hit my kids as an absolute last resort, one day they will make me put them in the hospital. I will resort to forms of corporal punishment that don’t involve hitting, like ponding, and making them kneel down.

    I mention this because my issue with Creflo’s actions is not the fact that he choked his daughter, but the act that he choked her in anger. The bible I read tells me that acting out of anger is just as much a sin as any other sin.

    Should he be in jail? Of course not! For one scratch? Are you kidding me? But if Creflo Dollar is the man of God that I would like to think he is, then the fact that he gave in to his anger will currently be bothering him far more than the fact that he is in jail.

    1. Malaka Post author

      Quarter wasn’t reading her Bible. While it says that parents must not provoke their children to wrath, it also says that they must honor their mother and father. She violated her end of the deal first.

      You never know you are going to do with/for/to your kids until you have them. Did I think I’d pick poop up with my barehanded…EVER? No. But I have learned that by the time you go get gloves, a rag and a bag to clean up a pile of crap, your kid will have done a poppie Picaso all over your living room. Only experience can teach you that.

      I’m sure this has been a learning experience for them both, and in the future the more intelligent of the two parties will attempt a different approach with the other. Like boarding school. In Aburi.

      1. David S.

        When Creflo accepted Christ, he didn’t make a deal between himself and his daughter. He made a deal between himself and Christ. Christianity isn’t “I’l follow the bible as long as the people I’m dealing with are doing the same. ” It’s “I’ll follow the bible. Full stop.”

        I’m fairly certain that when I have kids they will tempt me to do things that I currently know are wrong. I’m also fairly certain that there will be several times when I won’t be able resist the tempation. I would like to think that when this happens I will be able to be honest with myself and admit I was wrong and repent. The fact that he was very severely provoked doesn’t make what he did right. It just means he is human like the rest of us and gave in to the temptation to sin. Now it’s time for him to pray for forgiveness.

        1. Malaka Post author

          Forgiveness for what?!? He didn’t brutalize the child. He popped her a few good times for being an idiot! God burns whole civilizations alive. Creflo was not out of order here, as I see it. He had a human reaction to a human issue.

          It’s not like he raped a flock of 14 year old boys and then tried to deny it.

          1. David S.

            Beh you kwraa didn’t you ever go to sunday school as a child in Ghana? Didn’t they teach you that even a small sin is still a sin? Even if you take a mineral from your parent’s kitchen it’s a sin for which you have to ask forgiveness. Obviously we disagree on this, but there will probably never be a time when I hear about someone choking their kid, or throwing them to the ground and think of it as a good thing. Every time I’ve ever tried to choke someone, I meant to harm them.

            1. Malaka Post author

              I don’t think he choked her at all. I’m sure he shoved her and she fell in those heels she was wearing though. Stupid girl.

              You’re right though. We won’t agree on this one. But if smacking your child is a sin I have much to ask forgiveness for x4!

  4. African Mami (@afrikanmami12)

    Dear Malaka,

    I am tired for your talent not being on a coffee table. VERY! As your publicist I’m at my wits end because you are so immensely talented, I don’t even think you realize that!

    You already know how I feel about this situation.

    Sincerely
    African Mami PubAgency

  5. Akin Akintayo (@forakin)

    Malaka,

    I knew very well that you and I will not be on the same side of this story, I half expected after our conversation you’ll do your bit here as I have done mine on my blog.

    Love you lots.

    Akin

    1. Malaka Post author

      No wonder we are of the same mind. I have several Aunties in Larteh who would give her a much needed reality check as well! The impudence!

  6. Tunde Ajala

    Spare the Rod and Spoil the child so says the Bible. I will do same. Arrant nonsense in the name of westernisation or civilization. So they don’t want your child to be obedient. Nonsense , then later same society would be the first to publish the story of a miscreant daughter of a Pastor. Hmmmmmmm, or when she is raped who would be responsible for the trauma and all negative effects!!!!!! Me, I won’t spare the rod oooooo.

  7. Katrina

    Awesome Malaka! As my husband and I pastor a (white) church, and parents of 7, 5 girls, we can appreciate this struggle. Thankfully as we now have SO MANY compliments on our children, (youngest 17), you know it wasn’t always easy. We could only hope to continue to stand strong on our convictions, so that the kids would have something to fall back on when they came to their senses. My daughter who was the most like Quarter, is my child who sounds like she will be the strictest parent. LOL! Prayer support, love, and older siblings who are solid, pulled us through, and will pull them through. Obviously, Creflo cared enough about his daughter to fight FOR her.

    1. Malaka Post author

      Thanks for taking the time to comment Katrina!

      I think for all parents who hold a standard for their children, whether they hold a post in church or not, this will be an everlasting struggle. Because we strive for “Christ-likeness” we are judged even more harshly by the world. The moment you succumb to human error you become a hypocrite. That still doesn’t mean you don’t try to do and be your best or want that for your child, obstacles and obstinateness aside.

      C’est la vie I suppose.

  8. dzyr

    The good books says not to hesitate to discipline a child. ” a good spanking won’t kill him, as a matter of fact, it may save his life!”

  9. maxyaxy

    The only reason he seems to be under scrutiny is because he’s a pastor. People beat their kids everyday all over the world. He is first a husband and father before he is a pastor. His first responsibility is to his home. Of what use is it if he churns out great men and women from his ministry yet his own home is in shambles? He isn’t perfect… No one is. So before anyone starts pointing accusing fingers, wait till you are in a similar situation then you can tell us how best you handled it.

  10. couponit

    Amen, here is a rich PK kid that did not get her way, I would tell family to stay out and when social/child service comes in, Pack her bags for them and let them take her and let her see what her little tantrum has caused the family. Being a crutch to one’s in life only ruins them. Then let her count her blessings in foster care for awhile. As for the 19 yr old. she should know better. She knew her sister was trying to get her way. We all know, who have had a teen in the house, when they cross that line of disrespect you have to stop it then. This is why there is so much rebellion and disrespect in our nation. Government need’s to stay out or they can raise the hellions when they make it to the jail system. Our parent’s back in a day would let us pick our own switch off of the nearest bush for beating our butt. Most of the time it only happened once if you were the wise one. And that is when respect for all was still around. Yes Mama, Yes Sir. were the correct answer’s back then. Now you can not get an honest look in the eye’s or even a respectful yes.. It YEA….. Even teacher’s get cursed out in elementary schools now days. RESPECT, HONOR, please return to our homes… ” I’m just saying ” If you do not agree people just respect my freedom of speech. Love in Christ Jesus

  11. amriba

    that little girl is such a brat!!!!! the nerve??? how can u call the police on your father? shes obviously too stupid to understand the implications of her silly actions. she needs to be sent to Naija for just 2weeks!!!! she will chop sense and when she sees her dad again, she will say “Daddy, you are the best thing since sliced bread and please feel free to beat me blue/black SHOULD i misbehave again”! Eeeissssh!
    Malaka i’m with you a 100% even though i understand David’s point. Children are the ones who know exactly where to push their parent’s buttons and it works ALL the time! *sigh*

  12. Ali Francis Pabai

    Thanks Malaka and Creflo Dollar for your concern over impropriety and for upholding good behaviour in spite of heavy opposition and criticism from the ever growing number of evil doers and those who hypocritically profess to be promoting human rights but are in actual fact promoting corruption, immorality and injustice throughout the world. For how else can you best train young people without thorough discipline? No wonder children end up in violent gangs, sex trades and as drug abusers given the unlimited freedom and so-called human rights they are accorded. How about also teaching them that other people’s rights (be they parents or members of the public) must be respected and that all rights go with responsibilities not corruptability.

  13. Emz

    Finally, someone who gets it. I have said from the very beggining of this whole shebang that I’m pretty sure Creflo did nothing wrong. The child misrepresented a situation to the police as a means of acting out for some reason. I feel bad for him and hope his family are able to weather this storm.

  14. mechelle

    yes u people are sorry just creflo an eddie. no kids are not the way they were 20yrs. ago. u know why cause u had good old fashion good preaching an teaching these people are a joke. td jakes too. you got 20 children. babies shot down like a animal. rather the young man?was crazy or not. not one have really spoke. joyce myers. phony. paula white. joel olstyen oh an i can go on an on . so hello no its not the kids. look at eddie kids trusted him go figure

    1. Malaka Post author

      Please. Next time just post your comment in your local language and stop disgracing yourself in English. Ebei!!!

      ROTFL!!!!

  15. Veronica

    I would’ve snapped that little hoe’s neck!!!! When he gets out…he needs to kick her little ungrateful ass again…..

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