Wednesday, November 7th Is My New Favorite Day

I’ve become something of a cynic when it comes to politics.

I do not rejoice in my newly formed pessimistic attitude, but have decided that I must fully embrace it if I hope to have any peace where politics is concerned. There’s an old adage that says that laymen and everyday citizens should never see how sausages or laws are made. It would make one violently ill to witness the creation of what have become staples in our modern society. What would civilized life be like without cured pork and ordinances to sustain us? And for a long time, this was possible. In former days, America had a set of widely accepted values and politicians would leave their home states to lobby for the passage of laws to reflect these views in the halls and chambers of Congress. A few months later, a bill would magically appear. Now we have C-SPAN and TMZ, who have brought the proverbial sausage factory to our bedrooms and living rooms, pulling away the veneer that protected our views and revealing our politicians for who they really are: liars, pedophiles, philanderers and puppets bought and paid for with the lucre of special interest groups.

These are the people who run our country. There is not a righteous one among them. Politics eats up righteousness and craps immorality and wickedness when it’s finished the digestion process.

So on November 7th, when every vote has been tallied from those cast the day before, I will do a jig of gladness and relief. It will signal the beginning of the end.

I can’t tell you how sick I am of the broad generalizations from the Left and the Right. Mitt Romney is a liar. Barack Obama is a socialist. You’ve heard the name calling and mudslinging for almost a year now. There’s no need to go down the laundry list of monikers both men and their parties have been assigned. There’s only one description I’d give either: Puppet in Chief!

No matter who wins the White House come November 6th, there will be 50% of the population that is going to be royally pissed off. America has become a nation split right down the middle. We are a house divided, and I can’t think of any other time in history – outside of the Civil War – when this was the case. And to hear Michael Baisden tell it, we’re in for another war (or at least some serious looting) if President Obama doesn’t win a second term. Black people, and the elderly apparently, will take to the streets in protest!

C**k Punching Romney

Cynics like me will sip our lattes and laugh. Dance; dance you buffoons for my delight!

We are a nation split right down the middle.

Most of us believe in God in one form or another, while just as many deny the existence of this non-existent ‘being’ altogether.

Half of us believe that the only true definition of marriage is a committed union between a man and a woman. The other half of the population believes you should be able to marry whoever (and sometimes whatever) your heart desires.

Half of us believe life begins in the womb and should be protected. The other half believes that life has no value until it can sustain itself…notably at the age of 18 when it can vote and become a ‘productive’ member of society.

All of us want decent homes, schools and neighborhoods to live in…but even in how to achieve THAT we can’t agree. Half of us want good jobs and livable wages, and some of us want the government to provide the lion’s share or our basic needs.

Half of us are busy trying to convince the other half that they are wrong, and if they do not concede to others’ point of view, they are myopic, stupid and ignorant.

I’m bored with the entire thing, really  which is why November 7th will be my favorite day: the day when everybody gets to take 4 steps back and 4 more years to shut the f*** up. (Until November 8th, 2016 at least.)

You know where I’ve heard the best advice I’ve heard all season about this political race? It wasn’t from either candidate, or their campaign managers, or those talking heads on the major news networks. It was from a cartoon. A frikkin’ cartoon on PBS:

In attempting to teach children about the process and consequences of voting, Daniel Tiger and his friends learned that even though people do not always want the same things, they are fortunate to at least have a choice. In the process of voting, you have the chance to let your voice be heard. Well Daniel was ecstatic. He wanted a slide for his playground, and of course, voted for a slide. However, 3 of his 5 classmates voted for a swing set, and poor Daniel didn’t get his slide. Boy, was he disappointed. How frowned and crossed his arms angrily.

“I know you’re upset,” his mother cooed, “but do you think you can find something good in the results?”

“No!” Daniel screeched tersely.

Well, guess what? The swing set showed up at the park anyways. This is where most adults in the real world stop. This is the part where Black people start rioting if Obama loses or White people move to Canada is Romney doesn’t win. They don’t wait to see if anything good can come out of a result they didn’t choose.

But in Daniel Tiger’s neighborhood, he had an unexpected gift. There were 2 extra swings on that set. 5 seats in all, and enough for he and his friends to play on. That’s America, people.

No matter who wins this election, we all have to get up on Wednesday morning, go to work (or look for a job if you don’t have one) and make the best out of the result. Me? I’ll be watching cartoons. They make better sense than Chris Matthews on his most coherent day.