Black Men Want to Be Treated Like Pets

A more fair title would have been ‘SOME Black Men Want to be Treated Like Pets’, but the little quantifier – some – wouldn’t’ve made you click as quickly on this link as you did, would it? Welcome to my little web. Muahahahahaaaa….!!!!

I shan’t keep you long at all. This is a hard core, two minute rant. It’s all the time I need.

Can I tell you something, MOM Squad, Random Readers and Trolls? I’m sick. And I’m tired. I’m sick of certain Black men relying on this pervasive, trusted Gold Digger Meme when they can conjure no other intelligent alternative, and I’m tired of Black men lumping all Black women in the same decrepit, disgusting kettle as the low-life women they choose to associate with.

There; I said it. And if you ask your momma she’ll agree with me.

Have you seen this video?


It came out in 2012 to mixed reaction. Some people thought it was the most ‘hilarious thing they’d ever seen’, and others took great offense to it. Generally, the people who found deep humor in this plot are the same broad intellectuals who found the infamous Harriet Tubman skit funny. I saw it, and was content to disregard it until I read a post on Facebook that showed me we still have SO FAR TO GO. The person is no longer my friend (in neither the virtual nor real sense), so I will have to paraphrase the status that has sent me into such a tailspin of disgust, despair and anger.

“Relationships in Ghana are transactional. Whereas women in the West are interested and appreciate a man for his personal attributes like kindness or intelligence, Ghanaian women are only interested in how much money you have to buy a house, shoes, cars…”

He used a plethora of emojis to illustrate his status, which was sad, considering that this man is nearly 40 years old and should know how to use appropriate verbs and nouns… or at least access the Miriam-Webster app to help him out.

I didn’t confront him on his wall, instead choosing to make my feelings known on my own e-real estate, which I will share with you now:

All these Black men yammering about Black women – whether they be on the Continent or in the Diaspora  – only wanting to be in relationship for transactional gain, and worse, comparing these women to the extolled perceived virtue of Western (read White) women are hypocrites of the highest order. As thought a Black woman didn’t give you life. As though it wasn’t Black female hands who nursed you when you were sick. As though the woman whose internet/cellular plan you’re using right now to expound this primordial thoughts herself is not Black! Shame on you all!

Every relationship is transactional in some form. If you’re so pious, why don’t you get up and go to work for your employer (if you have one) for free? Are you also not involved in a “transactional relationship” with the corporation who signs your check? Even the air you are breathing right now is based on some form of transaction. You breathe out carbon dioxide and the trees, in all their benevolence provide you with clean oxygen to breathe back. Idiots.

Let me tell you something about women in general. It doesn’t matter where you live or where you’re from, there are women who will only want you for what you can provide materially. That goes for Canadian women, Peruvian women, French women and yes, even Ghanaian women. The converse is equally true, where some women would never give you the privilege of providing for them because of insipid reactions like this. And yes, providing for a woman IS a privilege.

You Black men of this particular order, so quick in your judgments to tell Black women to close their legs, to knight us as Gold Diggers, to christen us ratchet…I can’t begin to express how violently ill you all make me. I’m sick of fighting for a group of people who cannot stand up for me. You will NEVER find a woman more dedicated to the cause of the Black male than the Black woman, yet you continue to spit on us. What’s worse? After you’ve found your precious prize – a woman with skin like milk – you come crawling back to our beds so that we can birth your bastard Black children. How many of you have admitted to me in private that though you love your wives/girlfriends, you still want a “Black boy that looks like you”? Am I supposed to feel pity for your choices?


You lapdog of a Black man! You really think these women are interested in you merely because you are “kind”? Don’t fool yourself. She wants her nice house just as much as we do.  In most cases, when dealing with African men in particular, it’s because they are intrigued by the mystique of the Black man; by what they cannot understand and have never known. There is no mysterious aura for Black men as for Black women to be in awe of. We can read you. We KNOW you. This is why when I told said man in reference when he half-threatened to come at me swinging that NO ONE was scared of him swingin’, he backed off, tucked tail and was compelled to hit the unfriend button. How can I be scared of someone I gave birth to? I’m his momma and his momma is me!

I have never wanted to be at war with Black men. I grew up with a loving, wonderful Black father and a fantastic little brother who has morphed into an even better Black man. I support Black men because for the longest time, all we had was EACH OTHER.  I don’t understand this train of thought that some of you single cell-brained organisms employ. It’s like you barely have cognitive capacity. Have you ever heard a Chinese or Caucasian male disparage their women in the manner and frequency that you do? And yet the Chinese and Caucasian woman has the same expectations (if not more) that the Black woman does: that you get up, go to work, dream of a vision for your family and yes – provide. These are just the basic requirements of being a man…but some of you – and enough to form an entire special group – want to be treated like pet projects. You want a woman to Molly coddle you, tell you how wonderful you are when you just for getting out of bed, and bankroll your lifestyle. I believe you call it “pimping”. Whatever. You’re a project, not a catch, and you are the type of men we all need to be content to let women of other races have.

But do me this ONE favor, will you? Instead of casting a shadow of blame and ridicule over ALL Black women, consider the dating pool from which you’re fishing and examine yourself.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make myself a sandwich.