It always starts with a meme, doesn’t it? Memes are easily digestible. Men, who on average use 13,000 fewer words a day than women, find their brevity delightful… even instructive at times. Some think a meme tells the whole picture. (*whispers* It doesn’t.) Meme-based manhood is going to render a lot of dudes frustrated in their singleness, ashy and simultaneously living under their parent’s roof and potential until they wise up and snap out of it. And there is no topic more memed than those exhorting impressionable young men to be wary of the gold digging Delilah.
I generally ignore these memes and leave them for the under 30 crowd to battle out their virtues and demerits, but THIS one I could not let go without comment:
This is just plain FOOLISHNESS.
First of all, you need money for anything…and that includes dating. Until men and women begin coupling by diffusion, you are going to need money, bruh. Not just to impress a woman, but so that you can live YOUR best life. It doesn’t matter if you met her at the club or the library, some kind of way money fits into the equation. You will need money to enter the club. You will need money to buy your own drink(s). You will need money for bus fare to the library, or to put gas in your car. You need money to live.
If you are going to stop the pursuit of earning money because you are afraid that someone who also needs this element to live is going to take it from you unwarrantedly, then you have no business entering the dating pool. Your attitudes about money are too infantile…which means your attitude in general may be infantile as well.
You ain’t ready.
Second, you have to be a goldmine in order for the woman you are interested in to be classified a “gold digger”. Bruh. You Georgia red clay. You Saudi Arabian sand. You Land o’ Lakes butter. All of which are very useful in the right applications, but a gold digger can’t possibly hope to unearth what isn’t there. In other words, if you’re making $8.50/hr on a job with no benefits and you are lucky enough to have a woman give you the weather report, consider yourself blessed. Your parents raised you well. Your edginess does not lie in material wealth. The tragedy is when these guys making slightly more than the federal minimum wage confuse their value and net worth with the Jadakisses and Michael Baisdens of the world who have made their money. (And who curiously are usually responsible for circulating the cracked crockpot memes.)
Third, why are you so worried about money anyway? If you’ve read a book (which would be a far better use of your time than spending the day reading memes), you’d know that the ONE thing the uber wealthy have in common is that at some point, they’ve lost it all. But then they’ve made it back. Why? Because money making is a system. And instead of you to sit down and investigate what this system is, you are concerning yourself about the proclivities of a potential mate who just wants to go out and have a good time…with you? And so what if it’s on your dime. If you’re an intelligent man, you’ll understand that the value of your relationship is not in the kobos or pesewas spent, but how you are both being transformed into better versions of yourself because of your interactions with one another.
Fourth, there is GREAT news. Ever since the 80’s, when women’s lib put on its high top sneakers and shoulder padded power suits, there has been less pressure on men to be the exclusive providers in their homes or their relationship. Going Dutch on a date is far from peculiar anymore. And if the evening goes “really well”, your date may invite you up to her apartment to sit on her couch and watch Netflix and chill. Doesn’t this make you happy? See how feminism has helped you? See how she also needed money to get you on her sofa? It works both ways!
Lastly, if you are a guy and you read this meme and nodded your head in agreement, chances are you are broke, boring and not dating anyway. You don’t want to go anywhere because you don’t want to spend money. You don’t want to dress up for the Renaissance Fair because you don’t want to spend money. You don’t, you don’t, you don’t, because, because, because. And while you are gliding across your crunchy carpeted floor, cursing all these “gold digging” women in the world for failing to see the gem in you they are passing up on, you have failed to examine yourself. You are stingy. You are dull. You have no vision beyond the next $100. NO ONE wants to spend their life with someone like that.
In conclusion: there is no one out there for you.