Madness Archives - Page 4 of 33

Jidenna’s Appearance on the ‘Good Morning America’ Vexed Me

Posted on April 5, 2017
by Malaka
with 6 Comments

You see what happens when you underestimate a man with a conk and a pocket watch? You think he’s innocuous and then one day: BOOM! You are sitting on your sister’s sofa with your heart in your throat, swallowing, breathing and pumping blood through your…

Post Carnival Relief: These Are My Confessions

Posted on March 27, 2017
by Malaka
with 13 Comments

You guys are probably going to see videos of me on ratchetblackness.com or World Star – but before you judge me, allow me to confess and explain how all of this happened. Before he was struck by an illness that has kept him housebound,…

Vicki Yohe Unleashes Peak Beckery On The Church

Posted on January 26, 2017
by Malaka
with 4 Comments

When I saw a former co-worker refer to Vicki Yohe as ‘Tricky Yohe’ as a result of some foolery she had allegedly executed, I bristled. I challenged him to show me evidence of what the warbler had done to earn the moniker ‘tricky’. Surely this…

Is Sugabelly Sick… Or Are We Just Too Repulsed to Admit That’s She’s Right?

Posted on January 3, 2017
by Malaka
with 6 Comments

Sugabelly is a personality on Twitter who has gained notoriety through expressing radical views on feminism and her disdain for certain aspects of Nigerian culture, among other things. I followed her for about 24 hours 2 or more years ago, but I found her espoused…

2016’s Final Abomination: The Desolation of Jollof Rice

Posted on December 25, 2016
by Malaka
with 3 Comments

I’m getting pretty tired of writing about how awful 2016 has been and continues to be. My fatigue has compelled me to ignore several events that have transpired in pop culture and favor silence instead of comment. It’s not everything that requires a verbal (or…

Theory: Why The 66% Bent Over To Give Trump A Better Angle From Which to Grab ‘Em By The Pussy

Posted on November 10, 2016
by Malaka
with 5 Comments

Up until 3 weeks before the election, I was 80% certain that Donald Trump was going to win the presidency. I had voiced this repeatedly on Facebook, to the horror of my Democrat leaning/voting friends. As far as race and justice are concerned, I haven’t…

I Need My Finances To Find The Hem Of Jesus’ Garment…Quickly

Posted on October 28, 2016
by Malaka
with 2 Comments

My phone rang deep in the night as I was settling my head into my pillow. It was a dear friend calling from the US. “Girl, I know it’s late where you are…but we haven’t spoken in a while so I don’t care.” I laughed…

Would A Cheeto in Chief Actually Be That Bad?

Posted on October 27, 2016
by Malaka
with 0 Comments

There are only 11 days to go before the US election is upon us. Depending on who comes out the victor, half of the country will be in mourning for the next four years while the other half will move forward with muted optimism. No…

Her Dress Is Not the Problem… Your Mind Is

Posted on September 15, 2016
by Malaka
with 4 Comments

Last week we saw #TeacherBae briefly captivate our online attention. #TeacherBae is the hashtag that became Patrice Brown’s – an Atlanta public school paraprofessional – digital appendage after pictures that she posted of herself at work and/or at play on Instagram went viral. She’s a…

Evidence of a Dark Heart

Posted on September 13, 2016
by Malaka
with 8 Comments

Friends, Diaspora, Innanets Fam: Lend me your ears. But first, lend me your pupils. Look at this! No… Don’t turn away. See this abomination for what it is! This is a demonic manifestation. A Satanic offering. The wages of Lucifer’s war against the Almighty. What…