Motherhood Archives - Mind of Malaka

My Tween Son Doesn’t Like to Bathe, So I Used the Seuss Method to Explain the Importance of Personal Hygiene

Posted on March 15, 2022
by Malaka
with 2 Comments

My Boy turns 13 this Spring and just as he did during the toddler phase, he is hitting every single benchmark and milestone by the book. He's moody, ill-tempered, keeps a filthy bedroom and only takes instructions from his father. I have been content to…

The “Mommy Wars” Have Made it to Africa, and They Are Uglier Than Ever

Posted on March 8, 2022
by Malaka
with 0 Comments

They say fashion and trends recycle themselves every 20 years, so I suppose it should come as no surprise that the Mommy Wars - a dark and desolate time during the early days of social media - have reared its ugly head. In the early…

Aboriginal Australians Send Their Pre-Teen Boys On a ‘Walkabout’. I Wish I Could Send My Son On One Too.

Posted on December 20, 2021
by Malaka
with 2 Comments

The rules of Thunderdome are easy: Two men enter, one man leaves. This is what it's felt like living with my son for the past 18 months - like I'm locked in a cage fight with an adversary bent on bending me to his will…

Are We Being Fair To Our Boys?

Posted on December 2, 2021
by Malaka
with 0 Comments

This morning I got a call from my son's homeroom teacher. She told me she had a bit of bad news to share. My thoughts immediately went to the worst possible scenario. Was my son dead??? And how did it happen?!? Why else would she…

Conversations With My Kids: Fear

Posted on October 22, 2021
by Malaka
with 0 Comments

It hits me, on occasion. What, you ask? That I am nearing the end of my motherhood journey... Or at least in the conventional understanding and/or definition of the term. Who is a mother? What does she do? She's someone: Who wipes your noseWho cooks/provides…

I Asked My Daughter If There Was Anything I Had Done As a Parent To Cause Her to Resent Me. Her Response Confounded Me.

Posted on October 8, 2021
by Malaka
with 2 Comments

I have a friend named D*. She is a soulmate and a light in my life; and if our friendship could be described as a masala, she brings the sweetness while I contribute the spice. My life is far more interesting with her in it,…

Lead By Example: Practical Tips For Parents

Posted on September 22, 2021
by Malaka
with 0 Comments

Guest post written by Elena Stewart Most parents want the absolute best for their children. You want your children to live a vibrant childhood, and when you imagine your kids growing up, you probably like to think of them achieving their goals and living happy,…

Disappearance and Displacement: What I Learned When I Went Back to Davistown

Posted on August 24, 2021
by Malaka
with 0 Comments

Displacement With a week left before I had to fly back to South Africa, I decided that another trip to Davistown, KY would be in order. When would I have this opportunity again? God and the ancestors had extended what was supposed to be a…

What I Told My 11-year-old About Her Body, Her Swimsuit, Judgement and Shame

Posted on July 29, 2021
by Malaka
with 2 Comments

Summer is in full swing and with it has come all the joys of the season:Lightning bugs on full bioluminescent display.Lips stained purple, red and blue from frozen popsicles sucked lazily through a plastic case.Bike rides, jump rope and asphalt turned a temporary chalky rainbow…

I’m Co-Parenting with an Inherently Violent Man. I’m Fearful of the Repercussions for My Child.

Posted on May 7, 2021
by Malaka
with 2 Comments

I have shared 35 years of friendship with the woman sitting across from me. There are tears in her eyes and her voice is trembling. "Did I tell you I found my father, Malaka? I found my dad." A lifetime of muttered prayers - secret,…

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