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“I Go Pay You Morrow” Buyer

  Last night I ‘sold’ my first pair of “I got pregnant and now my feet have gone from a size 9 – 10 and can’t fit these shoes anymore so come and buy these shoes at a steeeep discount”  (http://mindofmalaka.wordpress.com/2011/01/20/big-feet/) shoes to my friend…

Your Confidence is a Fragrance

Men despise things that are easily acquired - The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana Ladies: If your confidence is a fragrance, then your desperation is a stench. This is a loose deduction from the above statement, but you’ll see where I’m going with this pretty quickly.…

I Too Was Raped by The TSA

Okay. So I wasn't raped, but that airport worker's hands had gone far enough into my pants to find my 'second virginity' and snatch it from me. All this hoopla in the media this week about full body scanners and patdowns just reminded me of…

Who is a Ghanaian?

My BFFFL, Nana Darkoa, though young is very wise. While we were collaborating on a would-be project a little over a year ago that was meant to be very "Ghana-centric", I voiced a concern that was itching my conscience. "How well would this be received…

Perming Kits and Bleaching Cream

You know how it is when you go back to Africa. You expect everything to be African. For the long time returnee, a part of you still expects to see little half naked boys running down chasing old car tires and small girls cooking with…

Ghana Ghost Stories

Let me tell you something about Mama Africa. She is a HARD parent. She will force you to do certain things; whether you yield to those things willingly or are beaten into submission is up to you. By all means, YOU WILL WALK in Africa.…

Lady's Shades n' Slangs

Accra - 1977 Kwasi: Ei. Rex. You are back. Akwaaba. Rex: Yerhs! I jess gort balk into tern tha oddar der. Kwasi (confused): Uhhh...Ok. Oh! How is your mother? Rex: Orh! *Hahaha*! Sher's foine, y'knaw? Yerhs. Doin' rally well. *Heheheh*! Kwasi (annoyed): Chaley, Rex. In…

The Fockery of Delta Airlines

This is an open letter to Delta Airlines, those bloody douche bag wankers. To: The head dude/dudess at Delta Re: An extraordinary customer experience. Dear Delta Airlines, I am writing to congratulate you for assembling a staff that provided me with extraordinary customer service this…

Purple Squirrel in a Pathfinder

A purple squirrel is a mythical creature; a being of lore. Something that has peculiar characteristics (like purple fur), but for the most part can still be identified as a squirrel. It's kinda like a unicorn. Last Monday a woman in black cloth and a black hajib approached me at…

$4 Paper Towels

Last night I almost threw up at the pharmacy counter. The baby had run out of diapers, and my father requested that I bring a pack home. I only had 40 GHc left in my wallet for the week, and it was going to take…