Sometime last week I let my mind wander from the needs of the day and asked myself “Self? What do White people say in their private moments when none of the Us’s is around?” “I dunno,” said Self. “Maybe we should ask ’em.” I contemplated sending out an email to my white friends and colleagues […]
I’ve been in a funk for the last 3 months. The weather has been awful, it’s been ridiculously cold by Atlanta standards, the heat went out in our house, and I haven’t felt like leaving my tiny two-bedroom house – a two-bedroom house inhabited by five (count ’em, five) people. To boot, I’ve had to […]
I’ve never cared much for weddings. I don’t cry when couples exchange their vows, or when the bride comes down the aisle, or at any of the typical moments when it’s appropriate to show sappy emotion. I’ve only been to 5 weddings in my entire life (including my own), and 3 of those have sucked […]
Unless you have been pregnant or lived in a house with a pregnant woman, there is no earthly way you’re going to be able to relate to what I’m about to say here. All the same, I’m going to attempt to usher you into a side of pregnancy that very few books and fewer women […]
I understand that by simply being born and making certain day-to-day decisions my life is a complete offence to many extremist groups. And yeah, I said it: Y’all are EXTREMISTS. How have I harmed thee? Let me list the ways: 1. I love meat and I wear leather – Suck on that PETA (oh, and […]
My sister Adwoa’s boyfriend has proclaimed her the second worst stripper/dancer on the planet. He has identified me as the first. The details as to why he would think my younger sibling is such a horror in the art of seduction via dance have not been made clear to me. Therefore, I can only assume […]
The other night one of my best friends from college came over to visit the family. She’s seen me go from svelte, clueless Ghanaian to overweight, guarded ‘American’ in the 12 years that we’ve known each other. She’s seen me at my best and my worst during our college years and beyond. However, because she […]
This morning I woke up and read the news like usual. Suddenly, I caught a by-line that had me doing a double-take “China warns US against meeting Dalai Lama”. The meeting could cause “serious damage to Sino – US relations” a Communist official warned; and left it at that. What the heck?!?!? When did China […]
This Wednesday I was summoned to court on contempt charges by my daughter’s douche bag sire. I can’t assign him the title “biological father” or “baby daddy”, because even those monikers carry more respect than he deserves. Anyhow, the charges read: Refusing visitation and Illegally changing my daughters name! (He is too illiterate to know […]