Latest Essays

Trauma bonded. That’s how our quartet described itself after we’d spent the day together. We’d been corralled together by one person’s inconsideration and neglect and would remain tethered to one another for…God knows how long? Individually we’d imagined a long time. “Last night I told Cagney that you two better be our friends after this!” […]

“The girls will meet us at El Jibarito for lunch. Then we’ll figure out what to do next.” My sister was standing on the balcony overlooking the lagoon. In 24 hours we’d been in Puerto Rico, the balcony had become the place that she retreated to when she felt angry, despondent or disappointed. She spent […]

I dove for my phone, trying to catch it before the last ring. It was my sister. Just as I prepared to hit redial, her text message flashed across my screen.CALL ME BACK NOW.Jeesh. What could be so urgent? We’d just spoken two hours earlier. Dutifully, I rang her back. She picked up on the […]

I have shared 35 years of friendship with the woman sitting across from me. There are tears in her eyes and her voice is trembling. “Did I tell you I found my father, Malaka? I found my dad.” A lifetime of muttered prayers – secret, silly and fervent hopes whispered between little girls navigating a […]

By now most everyone knows that a part of my work is to write on sex and sexuality for my other blog, Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women, which I started with my BFFFL – Nana Darkoa – almost 12 years ago. If you don’t: SURPRISE! Naturally, a part of that process requires quite […]

Ink. Tat. Tramp Stamp. Thot Graffiti. Whatever you might call them, chances are you have strong opinions about tattoos. The art form has been around for centuries, with evidence dating back to 3370 BC. Their uses are myriad: as ethnic identifiers; beautification; to release healing or ward off sickness. Tattoos have been used to brand […]

It has been 375 days since our first lockdown order was issued in South Africa: Alert Level 5. You know the story. It was supposed to last for 21 days after which, like a hoard of butterflies we would emerge from our respective dwellings and launch back into “normal life”. The soul-reaping virus would be […]

In late 2019, I visited the village of Sabuli in Upper West Ghana to conduct interviews for a book I’ve been “working on” for seven or eight years. (Time is irrelevant now.) For Ghanaians, it is customary for a visitor to bring a gift for the host. I’m sure the same convention applies to other […]

Much has been written and discussed about the devastating effects that the pandemic has had on mental health outcomes across populations and demographics. Towards the middle of last year, pediatricians reported record spikes in kids suffering from depression and anxiety. In older populations – a group already susceptible to involuntary isolation – national lockdowns and […]