Latest Essays

Trauma bonded. That’s how our quartet described itself after we’d spent the day together. We’d been corralled together by one person’s inconsideration and neglect and would remain tethered to one another for…God knows how long? Individually we’d imagined a long time. “Last night I told Cagney that you two better be our friends after this!” […]

“The girls will meet us at El Jibarito for lunch. Then we’ll figure out what to do next.” My sister was standing on the balcony overlooking the lagoon. In 24 hours we’d been in Puerto Rico, the balcony had become the place that she retreated to when she felt angry, despondent or disappointed. She spent […]

I dove for my phone, trying to catch it before the last ring. It was my sister. Just as I prepared to hit redial, her text message flashed across my screen.CALL ME BACK NOW.Jeesh. What could be so urgent? We’d just spoken two hours earlier. Dutifully, I rang her back. She picked up on the […]

I have shared 35 years of friendship with the woman sitting across from me. There are tears in her eyes and her voice is trembling. “Did I tell you I found my father, Malaka? I found my dad.” A lifetime of muttered prayers – secret, silly and fervent hopes whispered between little girls navigating a […]

By now most everyone knows that a part of my work is to write on sex and sexuality for my other blog, Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women, which I started with my BFFFL – Nana Darkoa – almost 12 years ago. If you don’t: SURPRISE! Naturally, a part of that process requires quite […]

Ink. Tat. Tramp Stamp. Thot Graffiti. Whatever you might call them, chances are you have strong opinions about tattoos. The art form has been around for centuries, with evidence dating back to 3370 BC. Their uses are myriad: as ethnic identifiers; beautification; to release healing or ward off sickness. Tattoos have been used to brand […]

It has been 375 days since our first lockdown order was issued in South Africa: Alert Level 5. You know the story. It was supposed to last for 21 days after which, like a hoard of butterflies we would emerge from our respective dwellings and launch back into “normal life”. The soul-reaping virus would be […]

In late 2019, I visited the village of Sabuli in Upper West Ghana to conduct interviews for a book I’ve been “working on” for seven or eight years. (Time is irrelevant now.) For Ghanaians, it is customary for a visitor to bring a gift for the host. I’m sure the same convention applies to other […]

Much has been written and discussed about the devastating effects that the pandemic has had on mental health outcomes across populations and demographics. Towards the middle of last year, pediatricians reported record spikes in kids suffering from depression and anxiety. In older populations – a group already susceptible to involuntary isolation – national lockdowns and […]

The locals in my town have a saying: “If you don’t like the weather in George, just wait ten minutes.” Nestled between a mountain range and the south Atlantic Ocean, the city’s weather mirrors the mercurial nature and migration patterns of the denizens of the Garden Route. That’s why I did not hesitate to grab […]

“Amuga! Amuuuuga!” This is what the children would shout after school during our long treks homeward in the blistering Accra heat. When emboldened, I would sometimes shout the word with them, and if the spirit – or whatever force guided the actions of the intended target – moved that day, a man would emerge from […]

Hello and greetings. Welcome to my new project! The Western Cape of South Africa boasts some of the most beautiful landscapes on the planet. From azure blue ocean waters to mountains that rise suddenly from the planes like plumes hewn from ancient rock, there is a seemingly endless stream of visual delights for the eye. […]

“Mom? Do you have a minute?” Please ask me for help getting juice out of the fridge. Please as me to pour you a bowl of cereal… Of course, the voice asking me for my attention was many years past the need for such assistance. My Lord, I long for the days when the primary […]

The mystery of religion is its mercurial nature, its plurality. It is a tool that both harbors and wields incredible power. Religion has inspired the pursuit of scientific knowledge and been used as a mechanism to demonize that same pursuit. Religion has been used to dehumanize and marginalize, and has also been relied on to […]

I’m just going start this post off by professing my love for T. You make my world a livelier place and you bring animation to already colorful days. You are a gift and I love you. Speaking of gifts… During a recent two-hour long catch up wherein we discussed myriad topics, the subject of gift-giving […]

Romans, friends, countrymen, lurkers and M.O.M readers; I come to you this day with the heat of blue flame coursing through my veins and the resolute determination of the water bear. Fear not! I come not with corona in my throat, but a question: Is there a fiscal cap on the expression of your devotion […]

Valentine’s Day doth approacheth! *cue ominous theatrical score* Every year right around this time, an abundance of articles and think pieces appear on different corners of the Internet exploring the increasingly negative feelings people associate with Valentine’s Day. Mind of Malaka is no exception. I have been a longtime (and loud) hater where this holiday […]

The Wax “What brings you in here today?” I gazed into the green eyes of the svelte brunette, barely visible above her mask as she snapped a pair of plastic gloves on her delicate porcelain hands. Hands that were soon about to deliver a peculiar sort of pain on my own delicate flesh. I thought […]

Forgive me if this is clumsily expressed. I have been misty eyed all morning, reflecting on the life of Ms. Tyson. The first time I ever saw a Black woman give birth on screen was in the movie The Color Purple. I was 8 years old and spending the summer in the Detroit with my […]

“Mom?” Crap. I had been summoned by my child. The pitch of her voice and query-tinged timbre with which my pseudonym had been uttered meant that the next words out of her mouth were going to cost me something. What was it this time? Money? A ride to the mall AND money? Only one way […]

The child who was once small enough to fit in the palm of my hand stood towering over me, tears brimming her eyes. “Are you crying?” “No,” she said. A renegade tear plunked down her cheek. She brushed it away, but that only opened up the wellsprings to near bursting. What had brought this on? […]