Latest Essays

It hits me, on occasion. What, you ask? That I am nearing the end of my motherhood journey… Or at least in the conventional understanding and/or definition of the term. Who is a mother? What does she do? She’s someone: Who wipes your noseWho cooks/provides your mealsWho taxis you from one venue to the next… […]

I have a friend named D*. She is a soulmate and a light in my life; and if our friendship could be described as a masala, she brings the sweetness while I contribute the spice. My life is far more interesting with her in it, and through her life I’m able to get a glimpse […]

Guest post written by Elena Stewart Most parents want the absolute best for their children. You want your children to live a vibrant childhood, and when you imagine your kids growing up, you probably like to think of them achieving their goals and living happy, healthy lives.  A healthy life, both now and in the […]

Displacement With a week left before I had to fly back to South Africa, I decided that another trip to Davistown, KY would be in order. When would I have this opportunity again? God and the ancestors had extended what was supposed to be a seven week sojourn to collect my daughter into a three-month […]

Summer is in full swing and with it has come all the joys of the season:Lightning bugs on full bioluminescent display.Lips stained purple, red and blue from frozen popsicles sucked lazily through a plastic case.Bike rides, jump rope and asphalt turned a temporary chalky rainbow if it’s not too hot out, and hours indoors spent […]

My earliest memories of Ghana are centered the market. “They” must’ve taken me there often in order for these memories to be so indelibly printed in my mind. Or perhaps a singular visit left such an impression that my imagination has created multiple visits. I have memories of a muddy ground.Nkatie cake cut into sharp-edged […]

“Are we the Gatekeepers of the Great Negro Library?” “What?!?” “The Negro Library. Are we the Gatekeepers?” “Malaka, what are you talking about???” “Oh, God. No! I’m gone again…” Whoosh! Off I went to the next corner of space.  I may – or if I actually had some shame – may have not told you […]

I was doomscrolling Twitter yesterday while waiting for my daughter to finish her hair at the salon. My Twitter feed is usually a mashup of human rights violations out of West Africa, Eskom plunging Mzansi in relentless darkness and food preparation videos. It can get really heavy, but at least Twitter’s algorithm gives me some […]

Cagney was incensed. “You mean to tell me these people can’t tell the difference between me and my boojie behind and these ghetto birds strolling around here in their socks and fuzzy house shoes?”She was reacting to Enrique’s analysis of events. I hate to categorize people one way or another, but her description was not […]

I woke up the next morning with a burning throat and the flames of my compassion doused. I was sick; my body reacting to the numerous allergens in the hotel room and my psyche affected by the series of quarrels the evening prior. The Fellowship had been broken. Frodo had lost his damn mind, Legolas […]

This story concludes the events of Day 3 For the first time that we’d been in San Juan, I didn’t notice the side cut eyes, the inhospitable nature of the hotel staff or the way locals looked through you as you walked by. You have to understand: I’d lived the majority of my life in […]

Trauma bonded. That’s how our quartet described itself after we’d spent the day together. We’d been corralled together by one person’s inconsideration and neglect and would remain tethered to one another for…God knows how long? Individually we’d imagined a long time. “Last night I told Cagney that you two better be our friends after this!” […]

“The girls will meet us at El Jibarito for lunch. Then we’ll figure out what to do next.” My sister was standing on the balcony overlooking the lagoon. In 24 hours we’d been in Puerto Rico, the balcony had become the place that she retreated to when she felt angry, despondent or disappointed. She spent […]

I dove for my phone, trying to catch it before the last ring. It was my sister. Just as I prepared to hit redial, her text message flashed across my screen.CALL ME BACK NOW.Jeesh. What could be so urgent? We’d just spoken two hours earlier. Dutifully, I rang her back. She picked up on the […]

I have shared 35 years of friendship with the woman sitting across from me. There are tears in her eyes and her voice is trembling. “Did I tell you I found my father, Malaka? I found my dad.” A lifetime of muttered prayers – secret, silly and fervent hopes whispered between little girls navigating a […]

By now most everyone knows that a part of my work is to write on sex and sexuality for my other blog, Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women, which I started with my BFFFL – Nana Darkoa – almost 12 years ago. If you don’t: SURPRISE! Naturally, a part of that process requires quite […]

Ink. Tat. Tramp Stamp. Thot Graffiti. Whatever you might call them, chances are you have strong opinions about tattoos. The art form has been around for centuries, with evidence dating back to 3370 BC. Their uses are myriad: as ethnic identifiers; beautification; to release healing or ward off sickness. Tattoos have been used to brand […]

It has been 375 days since our first lockdown order was issued in South Africa: Alert Level 5. You know the story. It was supposed to last for 21 days after which, like a hoard of butterflies we would emerge from our respective dwellings and launch back into “normal life”. The soul-reaping virus would be […]

In late 2019, I visited the village of Sabuli in Upper West Ghana to conduct interviews for a book I’ve been “working on” for seven or eight years. (Time is irrelevant now.) For Ghanaians, it is customary for a visitor to bring a gift for the host. I’m sure the same convention applies to other […]

Much has been written and discussed about the devastating effects that the pandemic has had on mental health outcomes across populations and demographics. Towards the middle of last year, pediatricians reported record spikes in kids suffering from depression and anxiety. In older populations – a group already susceptible to involuntary isolation – national lockdowns and […]

The locals in my town have a saying: “If you don’t like the weather in George, just wait ten minutes.” Nestled between a mountain range and the south Atlantic Ocean, the city’s weather mirrors the mercurial nature and migration patterns of the denizens of the Garden Route. That’s why I did not hesitate to grab […]