Latest Essays

“As whites, we don’t teach our children about apartheid. For us, it’s not important. But the Blacks…they make sure to talk to their children about apartheid. All the time. It’s the complete opposite.” I had the opportunity to make a new acquaintance in George on Friday night. As I’ve explained on numerous occasions, the demographic […]

Let me tell you about how I got scammed at an Ohio based Marriott hotel/restaurant. Have you ever been scammed by someone in the food or service industry? If so, you can identify with that snowed under feeling you experience when you realize what/how/WTH happened. It’s painful. That’s the most adequate way for me to […]

MOOOOOOMMMMM SQUAAAAAD!!! I’m mad excited. Can you tell? Some of you guys know that I am the co-founder cum co-creator of a li’l blog that could called Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women. This year marks our 10th anniversary of bringing the world a peek into the lives of women of African descent on […]

Do you suffer from Diastasis Recti? Has childbirth left your belly looking like it got a 50% score on the attempt? Do you have so much muffin top that people mistake you for a walking Pillsbury ad? No? Then you can skip this post. The rest of you, follow me to Bellefit.com! I’m 9 years […]

“Destroy a man’s soul and they will destroy each other.” – Judge Perry, Bolden It is unlikely that you will hear much fanfare or discussion around the newly released Bolden, a biopic that centers on the life of once-famed cornet player Buddy Bolden. Once dubbed King Bolden, the man credited with inventing jazz died in […]

Have you ever woken up with a start, heart pounding and mind struggling to catch up with your thoughts at dawn? Of course you have. There’s no way you’ve made it into adulthood without experiencing a similar episode. What was it that jolted you from your sleep? A mountain of bills looming on the horizon? […]

A few days ago, the term “skincare product” was trending online for the simple reason that digital denizens deigned that it must be so. Reliably, mixed in with actual (and helpful) skincare product reviews and suggestions were hilarious proposals. Some of my favorites include: Ronke Lawal is a British PR management and image consultant who […]

Today is Pi(e) Day! I always feel an intense pang of disappointment – bordering on anxiety – when anyone reacts to this salutation with a flummoxed “Huh”? The glazed over eyes, the furrowed brows and wrinkled noses all serve as a reminder of my evangelical failings. The inadequacy in my fervor in sharing the gospel […]

I’ve been having strange dreams lately. (And no, Tia, it’s not the gin.) Over the course of the past eight days or more, I’ve dreamt that I’ve engaged in acts that range from the unspeakable to the bizarre. When I eventually find a therapist, I will share those details with him/her. You might not be […]

Mothering comes in various stages of learning to unlearn to relearn. Isn’t that what the woke, young folks say these days? “We gotta learn to unlearn…” Whatever. As I type this I am sitting in a bar with a splitting headache. It’s * checks phone * 9:47 am. I’ve ordered a margarita because it seems […]

“You really think I care if some funky fourteen-year-old doesn’t like me?” So, you’re probably wondering how I got here. Those of you with kids can imagine the plethora of scenarios that led to me screaming these words by the marshy shores of a South African lake, but for the sake of those not blessed […]

Event: I goofed Time: Feb 22, 09:30 Who is the first group of people you’re advised to approach whenever you have a new idea/product/thing that you want to share with the world? Come and get your cookie if your answer is “friends and family”. For us dreamers, friends and family shoulder the unenviable task of […]

I started visiting a new church in the city we’ve moved to. It’s as different from Shack Church (our previous house of worship) as peanut butter is from humus. Both creamy, both legumes… and those are where the similarities end. They both have their merits, depending on what you’re looking for. In this new season, […]

I killed a fly this morning. I don’t know about you, but there’s something refreshing about confessing one’s insecticidal tendencies. I feel cleansed. So yeah, I killed him. (FYI: All insects are male.) Big ol’, blue bottle, buzzin’ bugger. He was sitting on my windowsill – which was fine – until he began to make […]

I mean, it’s a valid question… In October of 2017 and in the wake of allegations of sexual misconduct by Harvey Weinstein, Terry Crews came forward with a personal story of abuse that he’d suffered. Before I read the details, my presumption was that his trauma was inflicted during an event in his childhood or […]

TW: This post discusses themes surrounding mental health issues, suicide and coping strategies to address each. If you or someone you love has considered therapy, there are numerous resources such as the American Psychiatric Association, Betterhelp.com or the AACC available to assist you. A part of our modern human experience is to set – and […]

The South African hair care market was valued at $ 451.8 million in 2017 and is projected to reach $490.4 million by 2023. (Source: Industry Reports)  Black hair is versatile, and allows those of us with curlier locks a dynamic range in styling options: cornrows, box braids, relaxers, wigs and weaves are but a few […]

One of the many pleasures of living on the Garden Route is access to miles and miles of gorgeous, pristine coastline. The beauty of the Eden District cannot be adequately described with words. It is exquisite, yet does not come without its flaws. As anyone who has lived here for any stretch of time, one […]

When I was at Hampton University doing my undergrad, I had classes with a student named Jemilla, an entity so powerful that at 18 she could only be described as more woman than girl. In the entirety of my (by then) very short life, I had never encountered a peer with a firmer grip on […]

“This video makes me feel lazy and messy and dumb.” Eh? Who is making my baby – only male offspring to jettison himself from my womb – feel ‘dumb’? As I whip around, I am confronted with the knot of muscles and knitted brows that often form a cast on my son’s bearing: frowning, disapproving, […]

Upon entering the APEX Museum in Atlanta, GA, visitors are exhorted to remember that African/Black American history does not begin with slavery or colonization: these were interruptions to our history. That particular notion should be intuitive enough that it ought not require a reminder or be explicitly said, but there exist enough Black people in […]