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Essays in: Madness

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Madness

Why You May Be Feeling Particularly Betrayed by Target’s Choice to End DEI

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In mid-January, in response to Trump’s White House executive order, Target Inc. announced that it would rescind its commitment to DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) efforts. For many, this felt like a gut punch. I’m old enough to remember when shopping at Target was an embarrassment. A contemporary of K-Mart, often situated in low- to […]

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Madness

My Face Has Become A Meme For “Lazy Single Motherhood.” Chisos.

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Ping!!I glanced down at my phone and saw a new message alert. It was my brother! I was beyond excited. Last night I was already floating on a high from the success of our family photo shoot and NOW the ancestors had blessed me with the gift of contact with my brother whom I hadn’t […]

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Madness

Young, Famous & African is a Turbulent Ride. Better Buckle Up!

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Perspective: A few weeks ago, I took my family for a weekend getaway cabin stay in a coastal community called Brenton-On-Sea. The tiny enclave drips with opulence, generally, but not in such a way that is gaudy or ostentatious. It whispers old, confident money. New money screeches and yelps to make itself heard by any […]

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Madness

My New Filthy Obsession: Carpet Cleaning Videos

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Instagram is owned by Facebook, so it’s impossible to say with certainty what algorithm the company used to determine just why a 44 year old African woman living in South Africa might be interested in watching someone scrub filth from woven wool and scrape it into a hidden gutter off screen. Whatever the rationale, it […]

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Madness

10:36

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I am not the most meticulous person, but I do believe in the power and efficiency of lists. Most mornings I create a to-so list for the day and relish the rush of crossing off action items throughout the day. Extra thrill points if I’m able to accomplish these items on their designated hour. Two […]

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Madness

5 Days in Puerto Rico: Day 3.5 – Island Vibes & Front Desk Bile

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This story concludes the events of Day 3 For the first time that we’d been in San Juan, I didn’t notice the side cut eyes, the inhospitable nature of the hotel staff or the way locals looked through you as you walked by. You have to understand: I’d lived the majority of my life in […]

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Madness

5 Days in Puerto Rico: Day 3 – Rock Pools and the U-Haul Krewe

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Trauma bonded. That’s how our quartet described itself after we’d spent the day together. We’d been corralled together by one person’s inconsideration and neglect and would remain tethered to one another for…God knows how long? Individually we’d imagined a long time. “Last night I told Cagney that you two better be our friends after this!” […]

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Madness

5 Days in Puerto Rico: Day 2 – Aggressive Raindrops, Pugnacious Dish Towels

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“The girls will meet us at El Jibarito for lunch. Then we’ll figure out what to do next.” My sister was standing on the balcony overlooking the lagoon. In 24 hours we’d been in Puerto Rico, the balcony had become the place that she retreated to when she felt angry, despondent or disappointed. She spent […]

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Madness

5 days in Puerto Rico: Day 1 – Black Mold and Mofongo

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I dove for my phone, trying to catch it before the last ring. It was my sister. Just as I prepared to hit redial, her text message flashed across my screen.CALL ME BACK NOW.Jeesh. What could be so urgent? We’d just spoken two hours earlier. Dutifully, I rang her back. She picked up on the […]

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Madness

I’m Not ‘Going Through’ A Midlife Crisis: I’m Pouring On Gasoline and Jumping Feet First Into That Bish

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The Wax “What brings you in here today?” I gazed into the green eyes of the svelte brunette, barely visible above her mask as she snapped a pair of plastic gloves on her delicate porcelain hands. Hands that were soon about to deliver a peculiar sort of pain on my own delicate flesh. I thought […]

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Madness

What COVID 19 Taught Me About Consent

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I rolled out of bed just before midday on Saturday, driven to the bathroom by a coughing fit. Saturdays are the only days in the month I permit myself the delight of complete mental barrenness; the days where I ignore emails, watch old episodes of Gummy Bears on YouTube and eat Kit Kats for breakfast. […]

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Madness

“Di Rice Dun Finish. Dem Say E Go Extinct.” – Inside the Dark Mind of Nnedi Okorafor

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Close your eyes and think about the future a hundred, maybe a thousand years ahead. What’s the worst thing you can imagine? What event would you consider utterly catastrophic? Nnedi Okorafor puts forward an unutterable possibility. This week on my best friend’s podcast, LeVar Burton Reads, LeVar Burton (who is my best friend in the […]

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Madness

I Faked An Orgasm and Earned the Nickname “Rambo” For My Troubles

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Kwame, if you’re reading, don’t think I forgot! Y’all swear “I never told you” so many things, but over the past 11 years on this blog, you’ve heard about the inner workings of my womb, mammary glands, follicles, nightmares… So what’s a story about the Big O between friends? If you didn’t hear me shouting […]

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Madness

When you refuse to practice social distancing, I have to practice being a social douche bag.

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On the 17th of June, South African President Cyril Ramaphosa addressed the nation. “Y’all wanna go outside so bad; and drink your liquor so bad; and get y’all nails li’l done SO BAD – then yeah! Gwan den! Just wear a mask when you do!” That’s not really what he said, of course…but that’s the […]

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Madness

He Calls Me Abeenah Ghyay-kay

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LeVar Burton is my Reading Rainbae, and yesterday he said my name during his live Twitter reading session! LeVar Burton needs no introduction, but in case you’ve been living under a rock for the past 40 years, here’s a quick introduction. The acclaimed actor, producer, author, literary advocate and cultural icon has been an influential […]

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Madness

My 40s Are Kicking My Ass

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Hi. Hey. Happy New Year and so forth. I really wish that I could’ve titled this piece something a little more genteel to suit you all’s fragile sensibilities, but that’s the plain truth: My 40s are kicking the crap outta me. I actually began writing a similar piece about this time last year, but I […]

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Madness

Why You Should Always Check Your Receipt Whenever You Eat At The Marriott

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Let me tell you about how I got scammed at an Ohio based Marriott hotel/restaurant. Have you ever been scammed by someone in the food or service industry? If so, you can identify with that snowed under feeling you experience when you realize what/how/WTH happened. It’s painful. That’s the most adequate way for me to […]

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Madness

So Let Me Tell Y’all About This Camp I Just Left…

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“You really think I care if some funky fourteen-year-old doesn’t like me?” So, you’re probably wondering how I got here. Those of you with kids can imagine the plethora of scenarios that led to me screaming these words by the marshy shores of a South African lake, but for the sake of those not blessed […]

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Madness

The Secret Life of Flies

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I killed a fly this morning. I don’t know about you, but there’s something refreshing about confessing one’s insecticidal tendencies. I feel cleansed. So yeah, I killed him. (FYI: All insects are male.) Big ol’, blue bottle, buzzin’ bugger. He was sitting on my windowsill – which was fine – until he began to make […]

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Madness

Dreadlocking in South Africa is the Ultimate 419/Sakawa/MLM Scam

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The South African hair care market was valued at $ 451.8 million in 2017 and is projected to reach $490.4 million by 2023. (Source: Industry Reports)  Black hair is versatile, and allows those of us with curlier locks a dynamic range in styling options: cornrows, box braids, relaxers, wigs and weaves are but a few […]

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