Three days ago someone posted the Pump up the Jam on Facebook. I immediately ‘stole’ it and posted it on my Wall. Do you remember Pump up the Jam? If you don’t (and if you ever heard it, how could you possibly forget it?), here’s a quick reminder: PUTJ was a song done by Technotronic […]
(Slhore trans: Slut + whore) In ‘primitive’ cultures around the world, women disfigure themselves in the name of beauty. We have our necks stretched with copper/brass coils in Thailand; our lips stretched with clay and/or wood plates in parts of Africa and South America; nicked our faces, bellies and backs with razors in the […]
I have no words. Ladies and Gentlemen, from the mind of my little brother, Sami Gyekye, I present to you this intriguing Christmas tale: The birth of Santa Clause. On the very first Christmas, four Wise Men set off to deliver gifts to the baby Jesus. One of them read the memo wrong and went […]
Clearly I’ve been out of corporate America for far too long. Since I was laid off at the end 2008 and said “screw it” to trying to find a regular office gig, I’ve mastered the nuances of stay-at-home mom drama. At the end of the day, mommy drama is no big deal. My kids’ needs […]
Every family has its own set of time honored Christmas traditions and rituals (if they are fortunate enough not to have the holiday cancelled by an over-zealous matriarch) that are performed year-after-year. It’s what keeps college students coming home, and if the traditions are particularly fun/amusing/special, individuals will attempt to share these with people outside […]
My last court date, as expected, did not disappoint. The events were so bizarre that I halfway expected Mr. Bean to jump out of some obscure corner waving a conductor’s wand. Pure insanity, I promise you. After shelling out sixty bucks for the kids daycare fees (because that’s hoe much it costs me every time […]
So now we come to the topic that still makes me quake with fury: Stephanie. Again, you said that you would not have Na around any women that you weren’t in a serious relationship with. I had no idea that Nadjah was seeing Stephanie until the day you told me she spanked her for climbing […]
There are a bunch of little boys out there getting Black women pregnant and dipping; it’s really starting to make me angry. You, Azania Olezene, Lakieshia Jones, James Holcomb and 2 others like this. KSTell why are these Black women dealing with “little boys”? Thursday at 9:49am · Marshall Grant Because these boys […]
Chris sat in home office, his eyes and finger tips weary from hours of programming. He paused in the middle of keying in a complex code that a client had contracted him to complete. A wave of dissatisfaction suddenly washed over him. There has to be more to life than this, he thought. He looked […]
Part 2: Kwasia Dat Kwasia dat trans: That foolish person/thing. Some of you have journeyed with me for the last 5 1/2 years through the metaphoric hip-deep cesspool that Douche Bag has attempted to drag me through. Fortunately, I have managed to hover above the mire, coming out with only the stink clinging to me […]
Last night I sank to a new low in my motherhood experience. A friend of mine has graciously allowed me to use her home for the remainder of my stay in Ghana. It has done A WORLD of difference for my countenance. My father also offered to watch the girls for the next two days […]
I ran out of court themed titles, so I just decided to name this post after the date on which the final judgment was meant to be had. I woke up that morning, pretty confident that the judgment was going to be in my favor. I mean after all, Douche Bag had come to the […]
Have you ever looked across the room at someone and said to yourself: “Man! I can’t believe I had intercourse and procreated with this retard”? Well, at least 4 times a year I find myself in that very position; the latest being last Wednesday. My final oder requires me to give Douche Bag a 30 […]
Anyone who has spent any amount of time in the hospital has witnessed the varying levels of compassion and incompetence inherent in all hospital staff. Because I have several good friends who work in the nursing and medical fields, I make it a point to treat my caregivers with utmost respect and cordiality. I mean, […]
Take a good look at this face. LOOK.AT. IT! Does it offend you? Well it ought to. It offends me…and that’s my mug painted over in black-face, scratching my head in apparent confusion. The source offense is not in the paint itself, but rather from the folks that make me feel this way every time […]
Retta’s DEETS So: I woke up on May 21st ready for my date with Drama to ensue around 1:15pm, the scheduled time of my daughter’s event. What happened instead was quite unexpected and quite the opposite of my expectations. I prepared myself for a rather mundane morning. What I got was every mother’s worse fear […]
Silly me for thinking that this summer was going to start off on a positive and drama-free note. I drove my daughter up to school today, excited that she had gotten through the year with relatively few set backs. Tomorrow is the last day of school, and my mind was filled with all the possible […]
I wanted to do a happy-happy post today; I did. But this is the second day in a row I’ve been called into my daughter’s school to discuss her “attitude” since she got back from her douche bag sire’s house this weekend. I swear, it’s like going back to 2007 all over again. Until recently, […]
An old co-worker of mine has a friend named Barbara who has a 30 year old son with Down’s Syndrome. His name is LT. One day, Barbara left for work as usual and left LT at home to his own devices. It was a typical day. Around noon, she got a frantic call from her […]
It’s been a while since I’ve had to bitch about my douche-bag-baby-daddy, Courtney the Platypus; but in true form, he’s back after 3-4 weeks, like a bad case of herpes. First, let me explain why he is now being referred to as a platypus. My brother, in his infinite wisdom, pointed out that this “man” […]
My little brother Sami recently went to Chicago for a bachelor party/dude’s night out. Being a first time tourist in the city, he said he had his head tilted backward looking up at the immense downtown from below. “We ate a lot,” he said. “It was a good time.” He told me about the club […]