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Essays in: Madness

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Madness

Bill Clinton was a Black President Because —-???

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I had the most intolerable and tedious conversation with one of my coworkers yesterday. It started off well and amicably enough, as most irrational discourses do, but as a matter of course ended in disaster 10 minutes later. ‘Mark’, the newest addition to my department’s team is a 30-something year old Black man from Mississippi […]

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Madness

Have you read the news today?

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The whole world has gone NUTS. Africa in the News Why is it that every time there is a story done on Africa, the quotes come from persons who “speak on condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to speak to reporters”?  Can they never (ever) find anyone who has a prepared speech, or […]

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Madness

Shelby J: My New Power Crush

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Shelby J, Shelby J, SHELL BEE JAY! Her name evokes so many emotions in me. My feelings for her are so mixed: I’m torn between extreme adoration and immense jealousy. You see, Shelby J is one of Prince’s backup singers…No, she’s more than that. She’s a prolific member of the New Power Generation, and she […]

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Madness

Some Kismet Kokonsa!

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Kismet: When fates collide Eiii, READERS. Hmmm. I have some small kokonsa (gossip) for you. Most of you are upstanding, decent folks with morals, but for those of you like ME who like kokonsa, here we go! *This is going to be a very bush conversation. I’ve warned you. First of all, let me say […]

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Madness

Humph. These Men.

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There are two types of women in the world: Those who take BS and those who don’t. It is the job of men to decipher – usually based on looks – what type of woman you are. This is a poor system/process of discovery, at least by my estimation, because according to many men that […]

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Madness

It’s Open Toquing Season!

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April Toque: A cruel game played only by the Gyekye siblings. Simply put, it’s April Fool’s day on steroids. HAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!!!! April Toque! I got you!! Man.  I’ve had calls (some from Ghana AND England), texts, inbox messages on Facebook all asking WHY I’m shutting down M.O.M. (For the record, I’m not.) *Gasping and Snickering!* Oh […]

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Madness

Me, God and the Lottery

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   I KCQWYT!!! Can you decode the above statement? I bet you can’t! Never fear, I shall explain it to you. After much reflection, I have finally come to understand why God has NOT allowed me to hit the lottery the few times in my life that I’ve played, and probably never will. Oh I’ve […]

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Madness

Stupid Office Acronyms

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Stop whatever it is you’re doing…right now! If you work in an office, strain your ears and listen closely. Someone is using, or about to use, an office acronym right now. And don’t they sound retarded. (That’s a statement, not a question.) We used to use certain acronyms in HR that didn’t translate well into […]

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Madness

Prince: Sojourn to the Sublime

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Getting there: You leave Atlanta on I-20, merge onto I-95N, pass some cotton fields, take a deep breath and inhale a few lung fulls of horse manure and cow dung, blink and then you’re in Fayetteville. It’s a small military town with lush hills and where I rendezvousing with The Fabulous Bessie Afeku, my fellow […]

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Madness

Evolution: Nikki Hunter’s E! True Hollywood Story

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Nikki Hunter is the lead vocalist in the band Trials of Evolution – or TOE, as I like to call them. She is my little cousin, and was once the apple of my eye. I have spent many a hard week’s wages on McDonald’s, Target gear and outings for our “niece and aunt” days in […]

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Madness

I-don’t-care-ism: My New Phase

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*For Mia I’m going through a metamorphosis right now that is surprising to those who know me best. I really don’t care about a lot of things that would typically drive me mad. I attribute it to turning 30-something, although it could just have more to do with my life experiences thus far. The 23 […]

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Madness

Universal African Expressions

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Jewelry by Auntie Rose Marie, Mother of Nana Darkoa, Owner of MAKSI Clothing, Accra Ghana I’m always pretty pissed off when Westerners put Africans in one big box labeled “African”. The notion that we are a ubiquitous people with a homogenous culture and language (i.e. we all speak African) is as accurate as calling a […]

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Madness

The Modern Church SUCKS

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*And by this I don’t mean MY church. My church ain’t half bad (although it could stand to do a lot better) – I mean Christianity as an entity* This weekend I had the rare opportunity to sit down and watch TV between dashing out of the door to take the kids on an outing […]

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Madness

A Walk in Her Shoes

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I always try to keep my Friday posts happy and light hearted, but this has been a tough week for a number of women in my circle. This week, I’ve been on the listening end of some real big girl issues, and in being a part of these conversations, I’ve realized that the final nail […]

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Madness

The Manifestation of my Worst Fear

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People screw up and screw around: it’s a fact. Sometimes the consequence of that screwing is a baby. Some people consciously make the opportunity to screw up with as many other people as they can. Oh let me stop talking in circles. People need to be more selective with (and committed to) whom they get […]

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Madness

Black on African Crime

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Did you see this video last week? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/41365925 This is Nadin Khoury, a 13 year old boy who lives in Upper Darby, PA. He was beaten up by a pack of bullies. After I watched this video, I did some searching on the history precipitating this incident. I discovered that Nadin and I have something […]

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Madness

I Shot the Sheriff for My Birthday

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Today I turn 33. Unlike my 30th birthday, this day is not filled with dread, fear and loathing. I’ve embraced my age; and while I have not embraced my body, I know that I am in a position to change it. Unlike the morning of my 30th birthday, I know for a fact that I will […]

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Madness

BIG Feet

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Last Sunday I bought a new pair of shoes from Aerosoles at DSW where I work. I’d been eyeing them all summer long and they had finally gone on the discount/clearance rack. To my disappointment, there were none in my size – 9 ½, but they were SO cute that I begrudgingly took them in […]

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Madness

Pump Up the Jam!

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Three days ago someone posted the Pump up the Jam on Facebook. I immediately ‘stole’ it and posted it on my Wall. Do you remember Pump up the Jam? If you don’t (and if you ever heard it, how could you possibly forget it?), here’s a quick reminder: PUTJ was a song done by Technotronic […]

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Madness

Maimed for Beauty

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  (Slhore trans: Slut + whore) In ‘primitive’ cultures around the world, women disfigure themselves in the name of beauty. We have our necks stretched with copper/brass coils in Thailand; our lips stretched with clay and/or wood plates in parts of Africa and South America; nicked our faces, bellies and backs with razors in the […]

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Madness

The Origins of Ol' St Nick

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I have no words. Ladies and Gentlemen, from the mind of my little brother, Sami Gyekye, I present to you this intriguing Christmas tale: The birth of Santa Clause. On the very first Christmas, four Wise Men set off to deliver gifts to the baby Jesus. One of them read the memo wrong and went […]

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