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Essays in: Madness

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Madness

Dear White People: Telling Black People That They Are ‘Not Like Other Black People’ Is Not a Compliment.

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I suppose I should’ve been ready for it. It was a Monday afternoon, after all. These sorts of things only happen during queer times. Like when the 13th of the month falls on a Friday, when the moon is full during its lunar cycle, and – of course – Mondays. I was so relieved that […]

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Madness

‘De Ting Go Skrrrr Ka’ Guy is a Ghanaian. Here Are Some of the Clues I Purposely Ignored.

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De ting go skkrrrrr ka has made its way into and took over the zeitgeist of September 2017. Very few pop culture moments have staying power beyond 3 weeks, and as the interest in this one begins to wane, we give thanks to the BBC, Charley with the blue eyes, MC Quakez and Shakez and […]

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Madness

There Are No ‘Bro Code’ Discounts in Entrepreneurial Families

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My husband and I are entrepreneurs. He writes code for a living and I sell any and everything. I’m not saying that to be funny. From essential oils to smutty books (and I think I just came up with an idea for a combo pack!), I am a basically an e-market queen. It is just […]

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Madness

How Do Our Vets Feel About Seeing Nazi’s Thrive on American Soil?

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My grandfather (may he party in eternal peace) served in the United States army for 3 years. He was stationed at an air force base in Georgia where he worked as a cook and received distinction for his prowess as a thespian. (Now I know where I get my flair for the dramatic from.) He […]

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Madness

RompHims Are the Next Logical Step in Men’s Fashion

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Let us be honest with one another: Where men’s fashion is concerned, it’s been a race to (and in many cases, from) the crotch for a very long time. I don’t generally keep a keen eye out for male fashion – primarily because it’s so repetitive and boring – but I did note when hemlines […]

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Madness

Even God and Your Daddy Know #MenAreTrash

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Beloveds: I won’t be keeping you long this morning. I just stopped by to share a word that God confirmed in my spirit late in the midnight hour. Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and the occasion was nearly overshadowed by the kvetching of a certain group of people who have taken great offense with a hash […]

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Madness

James Comey Discovers White People Behavior Can Have Black People Consequences.

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Donald Trump fired FBI Director James Comey this week. What is unclear is if Comey’s firing came on the heels of a recommendation from the Deputy Attorney General or – if as Trump announced on Lester Holt’s interview on Thursday – he had made the decision to fire Comey regardless of any recommendation. Prior to […]

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Madness

How To Survive Those Terrifying Moments When An Airline Won’t Let You Pee

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The airline industry is just out of control. There hasn’t been a week that’s gone by this month that hasn’t featured some form of passenger abuse. As a rule, I do not to travel by air. Unless the chances of reaching my destination are absolutely impossible unless by flight – say from Atlanta to Johannesburg […]

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Madness

Jidenna’s Appearance on the ‘Good Morning America’ Vexed Me

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You see what happens when you underestimate a man with a conk and a pocket watch? You think he’s innocuous and then one day: BOOM! You are sitting on your sister’s sofa with your heart in your throat, swallowing, breathing and pumping blood through your veins, simultaneously failing at all three. Why because the shiny […]

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Madness

Post Carnival Relief: These Are My Confessions

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You guys are probably going to see videos of me on ratchetblackness.com or World Star – but before you judge me, allow me to confess and explain how all of this happened.   Before he was struck by an illness that has kept him housebound, a friend of mine used to go soca parties every […]

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Madness

Vicki Yohe Unleashes Peak Beckery On The Church

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When I saw a former co-worker refer to Vicki Yohe as ‘Tricky Yohe’ as a result of some foolery she had allegedly executed, I bristled. I challenged him to show me evidence of what the warbler had done to earn the moniker ‘tricky’. Surely this was a case of mistaken identity! I’ve seen Vicki Yohe […]

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Madness

Is Sugabelly Sick… Or Are We Just Too Repulsed to Admit That’s She’s Right?

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Sugabelly is a personality on Twitter who has gained notoriety through expressing radical views on feminism and her disdain for certain aspects of Nigerian culture, among other things. I followed her for about 24 hours 2 or more years ago, but I found her espoused positions on Abrahamic faiths not just intolerant (which is inconsequential, […]

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Madness

2016’s Final Abomination: The Desolation of Jollof Rice

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I’m getting pretty tired of writing about how awful 2016 has been and continues to be. My fatigue has compelled me to ignore several events that have transpired in pop culture and favor silence instead of comment. It’s not everything that requires a verbal (or written) reaction, abi? But dear brothers and sisters, there is […]

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Madness

Theory: Why The 66% Bent Over To Give Trump A Better Angle From Which to Grab ‘Em By The Pussy

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Up until 3 weeks before the election, I was 80% certain that Donald Trump was going to win the presidency. I had voiced this repeatedly on Facebook, to the horror of my Democrat leaning/voting friends. As far as race and justice are concerned, I haven’t had faith in America in a long time – not […]

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Madness

I Need My Finances To Find The Hem Of Jesus’ Garment…Quickly

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My phone rang deep in the night as I was settling my head into my pillow. It was a dear friend calling from the US. “Girl, I know it’s late where you are…but we haven’t spoken in a while so I don’t care.” I laughed at her candor and told her I didn’t mind. I […]

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Madness

Would A Cheeto in Chief Actually Be That Bad?

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There are only 11 days to go before the US election is upon us. Depending on who comes out the victor, half of the country will be in mourning for the next four years while the other half will move forward with muted optimism. No matter what side of the divide you’re on, we (excluding […]

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Madness

Her Dress Is Not the Problem… Your Mind Is

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Last week we saw #TeacherBae briefly captivate our online attention. #TeacherBae is the hashtag that became Patrice Brown’s – an Atlanta public school paraprofessional – digital appendage after pictures that she posted of herself at work and/or at play on Instagram went viral. She’s a beautiful woman with a full, curvy body. Black Twitter did […]

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Madness

Evidence of a Dark Heart

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Friends, Diaspora, Innanets Fam: Lend me your ears. But first, lend me your pupils. Look at this! No… Don’t turn away. See this abomination for what it is! This is a demonic manifestation. A Satanic offering. The wages of Lucifer’s war against the Almighty. What in God’s holy name is this and why would someone […]

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Madness

What I Smelled When I Saw Pictures of Usain Bolt in Bed with that Brazilian Student

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As I’ve mentioned on many a previous post, I grew up in a suburb of Accra called Labone. It’s hard to believe looking at the area now, but there was once a time when rents were reasonable and a lower middle class family such as mine could afford to live there. The house I lived […]

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Madness

Who is Worth Protecting: Vaginal Hierarchies in the Age of Oye Lithur

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When well-meaning women beholden to archaic traditions lovingly perform barbaric acts like holding their daughters down and slice off their clitorises with rusty blades or yank them out of classrooms to sell them into marriage, women like Nana Oye Lithur spring into action. It’s not that the former group of women gave birth to bring […]

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Madness

If Only I Could Solve All of My Problems Like A ThunderCat

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Last night, I felt it prudent to lose myself in a bit of 80s nostalgia. The past 8 days or better have constituted a general failure in the spheres of civil rights, global peace and adulating in general, so an escape to a time when all of these principles were things for my parents to […]

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