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Essays in: Marriage

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Marriage

Do Ghanaian Men Have a ‘Renters Mentality When It Comes to Marriage?

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“Now you are married to somebody… and you’ve put your name on her, she’s called ‘Mrs your name’. That’s a serious responsibility when somebody is called ‘your name’. You’ve overthrown her father, and you’ve taken her father’s place, so, you got to behave seriously. I mean somebody’s life investment has been put in your hands. […]

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Marriage

Patriarchal African Men: Learn to Cook Your Own Food and Fulfill God’s Will for Your Life

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When my family moved to our long-term rental in Labone, the area provided all of the creature comforts that a girl of nine would need. There was a shady tree under which to shoot the breeze, a kiosk across the street that sold toffee and Malta when you could afford it and there were nice, […]

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Marriage

What I Learned About Marriage on the Morning of 11th Wedding Anniversary

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Before I went to bed last night I drank 32oz of blueberry cider, a treat I had scored while on sojourn to Southern Belle Farms in McDonough, GA. Liya and her kindergarten class were on a field study during which it was incumbent on all in attendance to pick strawberries and warble a country-fried rendition […]

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Marriage

…And Tiwa Savage Chose Life, and Chose it More Abundantly

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As we come to the conclusion of this series, it’s my fervent hope that the narratives that these women have shared will motivate each of us to do some serious introspection and become more contemplative about our personal choices. Not just in the realm of romance and marriage, but in other areas of our lives […]

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Marriage

Moil and Matrimony: The Accountant and The Analyst

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The Accountant’s Tale I’ve always said that women who do not watch men before marriage are very stupid. Yes! I was very vocal about it. If you let a man get into your pants before marriage, you are a stupid woman. How can you let a man trick you into having sex? What if you […]

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Marriage

Moil and Matrimony: The Sunday School Teacher’s Tale

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I heard you took the Night Nurse out for dinner. That was very nice of you. She deserves it. She helps me out a lot, you know? Whenever I need to take time for myself, she takes my three kids without a question. We’ve only just recently become fairly good friends, even though we’ve been […]

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Marriage

Moil and Matrimony: The Night Nurse’s Tale

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When I was three months pregnant my husband locked me out of his house in Kennesaw because he was drunk and I was angry that he was drunk. I say “his house”, because his name was on the deed, not mine. I was a new immigrant and I was sure that if I called the […]

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Marriage

Moil and Matrimony

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https://twitter.com/MsAfropolitan/status/726400308197351428  Minna Salami brilliantly and succinctly captured the essence of the news dominating our discourse during the last week in April in that one tweet. It WAS draining. Between ‘Becky with the good hair’ and a phantom Nigerian husband-eater known as Edible Catering, the façade that marriage always ends in happily ever after if you’re […]

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Marriage

My Husband’s Relationship With an Older Woman Nearly Ruined Our Finances and Our Young Marriage

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See how quickly you clicked on the link to read this story? Konkonsa. Gossips! You just want to see how/if my ‘perfect husband’ may have engaged in some sort of impropriety. Not to worry. This is not a tale about how his sexual misconduct with a cougar led to the birth of some now-revealed love-cub. […]

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Marriage

Unequally Yoked With A Believer

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“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” – 2 Corinthians 6: 14-15     It has always astonished me: That as much time as the […]

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Marriage

How Trying to Avoid “Gold Diggers” is Blocking Your Own Career Advancement and Personal Development

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It always starts with a meme, doesn’t it? Memes are easily digestible. Men, who on average use 13,000 fewer words a day than women, find their brevity delightful… even instructive at times. Some think a meme tells the whole picture. (*whispers* It doesn’t.) Meme-based manhood is going to render a lot of dudes frustrated in […]

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Marriage

Is Akumaa Mama Zimbi a Dangerous Woman?

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Akumaa Mama Zimbi describes herself as a women’s rights leader, an actress and radio and TV show host. She is a prolific tweeter with over 11K followers who hang on to her every word…words that generally admonish (and shame) women for having sex outside of marriage. And I look forward to her tweets. Don’t get […]

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Marriage

What Commodities are Trading on the Dating Stock Exchange in 2015?

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I consider myself a woman of average intelligence, so I am a bit perplexed that I spent the entire night pondering the question posed by this brother. These are the sentiments shared online that cause me no shortage of gratitude to no longer be counted among the dating population. The question posed is “what expectations […]

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Marriage

How Did Young Africans Express Affection in Pre-colonial Times?

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One of my Twirra faves asked this question today: How did young African lovers express affection in precolonial times before kissing was introduced by Europeans? (Apart from intercourse duh) — Dragon Queen 🎥🇬🇭🏳‍🌈 (They/Them) (@selasie_afi) August 29, 2015 This is a topic and a question that has interested me for a long time  as well, […]

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Marriage

My Husband’s Wallet

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Sometimes, my husband leaves his wallet at home. He leaves it lying carelessly on the dining room table or on the brown, felt-covered cube I bought two years ago from Wal-Mart to store extra pencils and exercise books. For some women, the sight of a wallet lying unattended presents a rare opportunity to spend some […]

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Marriage

Building Strength into a Nigerian Marriage

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Generally speaking, the concept of what an African marriage looks like brings to mind certain clichés. African men are encouraged to avoid marriage for as long as possible for the benefit of seeking fortune, while African girls are instructed to make marriage their end goal in life. There are strict gender roles that govern the […]

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Marriage

A Week in Belize, Where it’s Always Sunny with a Chance of Beautiful

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It requires a fair amount of hubris and cheek to go on vacation and assume that anyone anywhere would care to have you share the gritty details of how you idled endless hours in a hammock munching on fresh fruit and being lulled to sleep by the ocean’s waves…so allow me to express my gratitude […]

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Marriage

Did 90s R&B Ruin Marriage for an Entire Generation?

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I recently had the occasion to take a 10 hour road trip with my four children. Let that sink in: 4 kids – all aged 10 and younger. Obviously it went well enough. I’m back at my computer and have lived to tell the tale. My musical choices for road trips of this length usually […]

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Marriage

Singing about Love in the Black Community: From Barbershop Quartets to Making ‘Truffle Butter’

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Warning: This post contains images and descriptions that you will not be able to mentally unsee. Please continue with caution…or not at all. I had the ‘opportunity’ to watch a rerun of the 2015 BET Awards this week. It would be more accurate to say I was obliged to watch it, since my cousin provided […]

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Marriage

As a Christian Living in America, the SCOTUS Ruling on Gay Marriage Doesn’t Bother Me in the Least

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On Friday, June 26, 2015, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled 5-4 in favor of same sex marriage and many people are in their feelings about it. The media would have you believe that the only people who have a problem with this ruling are backwater, semi-literate, Bible thumping, snake wielding traditionalists sweating […]

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Marriage

Marital Bliss: Year 19

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Written by: Julia Nelson, friend, philosopher and master fruit smoothie maker. So I keep seeing all these articles and blog posts with titles like “Ten Things I Never Knew About Marriage,” or “Eight Things They Never Told Me About Marriage,” or my favorite: “Four Thousand Three Hundred Things the CHURCH Never Told Me About Marriage […]

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