To shart: the phenomenon through which when farting, a little bit of dookie ends up in your pants. The more I think about marriage, the more I realize that it’s really one of the hardest things a person could ever do successfully. It’s easy to fail at marriage – I mean, all you have to do […]
I was going to title this “Of Brides and Hoodlums”, but I like the former Ms. Shears far too much to dwell on the hood-rattiness of Cory Garner, whom she married just this weekend. (I KNOW you’re reading this Cory, you lawn jockey.) That, and she planned every detail of an amazing event all by […]
It’s a popular saying: “All men are dogs.” It’s a phrase women use generally to console other women who have been “dogged” by a man, and in doing so, insinuating that men and dogs have equivalent behavior when it comes to the treatment of women. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if men actually did act […]
*This article is not for little kids. All you teenagers I’ve FB friended from church stop reading HERE! I don’t want to be a cynic, I promise you I don’t…but Valentine’s Day SUCKS. I used to be one of those people who would balk at other cynics who decried Valentine’s Day as “just a paper” […]
Don’t dump your boyfriend/husband just yet! Read on: The longer I’m married, the more I realize that I only have limited influence on what my husband says and does. Every talk show host and new age advice guru will tell you that you can’t change a person. And that may be true. Perhaps YOU can’t, […]
I was only supposed to stay one hour – but that was before my first sip. This weekend I was invited to a bridal shower in honor of my ex co-worker’s bride to be. (This would be a good time for me to mention that miracles do indeed happen when it comes to finding a […]
I was at work this weekend when a customer and her daughter approached my counter. Her teenaged daughter was talking to her dad and handed her the phone. “Okay. Okaaay!” she said with some aggravation. “We’ll be done soon. I’m checking out now.” She hung up and apologized. “Sorry about that.” “That’s okay!” I […]
Or for that matter, what makes a wife? The question of what makes a ‘good spouse’ is really one I’d like some input on from you guys. I have spent some time talking to newlywed wives (and not so newlyweds) who appear to be in a state of flux as far as their marriages are […]
One of my absolute favorite couples is Steve and Mia Stewart. She’s a no nonsense HR professional and he’s one of Atlanta’s finest. (For all my international readers who are not familiar with this term, that means he’s a cop – not that I am checking out someone else’s husband!) Mia is a queen bee […]
The phrase “bedroom games” means something different to you at every stage of your marriage and/or relationship with a significant other. When you’re a newlywed, it will most likely be construed as an exciting event, with two lovers getting hot and heavy under the covers. Perhaps one of them may dress up as Pocahontas and […]
I was searching for an audio file for this song, but couldn’t find one. Click ‘play’ and let this tune serve as the backdrop as you read this post…in another browser. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS8eVFq1ZdU] Three weeks ago I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. My husband prepared to drift off to sleep himself, equally weary from […]
Married people: Don’t you just LOVE it when you and your spouse are just clicking? If you’ve been married a day over 5 years, you know what I’m talking about. Like when you finish each other’s sentences; or set a drink of water on the table knowing that your significant other is going to take […]
Like all multicellular organisms, my house has several parts that keep it running. The hum of the fridge; the glow of our lights; the infernal dripping of a leaky faucet or running toilet all indicate that there is life buzzing inside the modest structure. But if you listen closely in the midnight hour, you will […]
If all marriages started out with an engagement like Big Nan’s, no one would ever get divorced. ‘Big Nan’ is my nickname for one of my oldest and closest friends, Nana Koranteng; because she does everything big: House real big, cars real big, grades real big and now wedding real big. I’ve always known that […]
Last night I was standing in the mirror, subconsciously looking for flaws (you know how it is, ladies). My husband was lying on the bed watching the Travel Channel in what he thought was going to be in relative peace. “Baaaaaaaaaaaabe!” I screeched. “Yes.” “Do you think my boobs are little?” “No.” I AM 10 […]
This weekend I took the rare opportunity to close and lock the door while I was taking a dump. As I sat in my windowless bathroom, I heard my 1 year old wail “Maanee!?! (Mommy)”, and my second born knock on the door and ask if I was pooping. “Yes, Aya. Yes I am pooping,” […]
Man, I’m so giddy I can’t even spell the word! This Friday, Marshall and I celebrated 5 years of wedded bliss. It’s been fantastic for me, but I don’t know how great it’s been for him. I am a certified basket case after all. *Chortle!* When I woke up on May 14th, I was just… excited. […]
Ahhh, South Africa. S.A. South Africa means different things to many people depending on what era they were born in. For some, it’s the Rainbow Nation. For others, it’s the newest destination for the World Cup. As a more macabre individual, “South Africa” conjures up images of apartheid, rape, murder and injustice for me. If […]
I think it was Chris Rock that was talking about married couples and their relationships with other married couples. Generally, the wives set their husbands in front of a TV together and say “Hey honey, he likes baseball too! Y’all get to know each other.” As newly weds, Marshall and I found this segment hilarious. […]
The other night I was watching TV and the standard foray of advertisements came on between segments of the show. You know how it goes: Laundry detergent featuring happy brunettes cheerily folding clothes; An athletic blond doing backhand springs while peddling vaginal applicators; Old men doing jittery jigs, singing the praises of male enhancement courtesy […]
Caution! I beg you oooh. If you’re not 18 or older, please close your eyes and open another browser. This post is not for small boys and girls. I was on the phone with Tem, my childhood best friend yesterday, and as usual our “So what’s going on?” conversation turned to current events, personal triumphs, […]