Essays in: Motherhood

When your child is born, they bring with them your hopes, dreams, and fears. The moment that tiny person makes their entrance into the world, all the theoretical proclamations you once made about what you would or wouldn’t do as a parent stop being abstract. It’s suddenly very real. You either put your money where […]

If you steal a glance at my Instagram page, you’ll find a feed filled with snapshots of joy: family vacations, safaris, dinners out, and elaborate home-cooked meals in our quaint little town. The photos tell a story of happiness, a carefully curated narrative that reflects the general warmth and love in our family. And for […]

My Dearest Girls, Today, I write this with a heart both heavy and hopeful. Heavy, because there is an apology I owe you. Hopeful, because I believe in the strength you possess to live differently, to choose differently, and to find a freedom that even I am only just beginning to understand. When we become […]

Only the most courageous, foolish or demented of people will admit what I am about to tell you now. I have wished an ex-lover dead. This is the sort of thing that one does not proclaim in public or genteel company, but amongst true friends and the most trusted of confidants, the words are raged […]

By the time I hit ‘publish’ on this post, Nadjah will be seated in her first class and most likely will be on her way across campus (or perhaps next door?) for her next lecture. I don’t know. There are so many unknowns. All I know for sure is today, August 21, 2023, I became […]

“Your son should NEVER ask me to do anything for him EVER again! I’m not taking him to karate, I’m not helping him with school work, I’m not even going to buy deodorant for his funky ass! From now on, YOU raise him!” My eyes blazed. My heart thudded wildly against my rib cage. My […]

Written by Elena Stewart Being a parent is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. But it can also be overwhelming and chaotic. There are so many joys to be found in raising a family, but there can also be moments of chaos and overwhelm that come along with the task. To make your […]

A journalist sent me a message last week, expressing interest in my work on Adventures From the Bedrooms of African Women. When it comes to this project, I have been the force behind the scenes, rather than the face out front for many myriad reasons. Those reasons have included the existence of my children, some […]

I thought we were going to die. But before we did, I figured I’d get some orange juice to quench my thirst and hopefully quell the raging headache pulsing through the vein in the left side of my face. Orange juice has no cranial healing properties, but I couldn’t be expected to be rational in […]

When you are preparing to bring a child into this world for the first time, there is no shortage of advice doled out to new parents. “Don’t hold the baby too much, or she’ll get spoiled!”“Baby won’t sleep? Let her cry it out through the night. Crying never killed no baby.”“Put the baby on her […]

Aya, my sweet and surly second born, turned 16 this month. It’s difficult to believe considering that I just enrolled her in pre-school a few days ago. Nevertheless that’s what the calendar says: My baby is officially in the first phases of young adulthood. Her first decision as a young adult, you ask? “I want […]

A man places his phone on selfie mode and begins to record. The lens is angled from the floor up, so that we are able to see his feet advancing towards a child cowering in the corner. Both come into view. The man is hunched over, his face contorted in fury. Without warning, he picks […]

My Boy turns 13 this Spring and just as he did during the toddler phase, he is hitting every single benchmark and milestone by the book. He’s moody, ill-tempered, keeps a filthy bedroom and only takes instructions from his father. I have been content to leave parenting of The Boy to my husband; because quite […]

They say fashion and trends recycle themselves every 20 years, so I suppose it should come as no surprise that the Mommy Wars – a dark and desolate time during the early days of social media – have reared its ugly head.  In the early 2000s when platforms like Facebook and Blogger were at their […]

The rules of Thunderdome are easy: Two men enter, one man leaves.  This is what it’s felt like living with my son for the past 18 months – like I’m locked in a cage fight with an adversary bent on bending me to his will or causing my destruction if I refuse to break. All […]

This morning I got a call from my son’s homeroom teacher. She told me she had a bit of bad news to share. My thoughts immediately went to the worst possible scenario. Was my son dead??? And how did it happen?!? Why else would she be calling me at 8:20am, when I had just dropped […]

It hits me, on occasion. What, you ask? That I am nearing the end of my motherhood journey… Or at least in the conventional understanding and/or definition of the term. Who is a mother? What does she do? She’s someone: Who wipes your noseWho cooks/provides your mealsWho taxis you from one venue to the next… […]

I have a friend named D*. She is a soulmate and a light in my life; and if our friendship could be described as a masala, she brings the sweetness while I contribute the spice. My life is far more interesting with her in it, and through her life I’m able to get a glimpse […]

Guest post written by Elena Stewart Most parents want the absolute best for their children. You want your children to live a vibrant childhood, and when you imagine your kids growing up, you probably like to think of them achieving their goals and living happy, healthy lives.  A healthy life, both now and in the […]

Displacement With a week left before I had to fly back to South Africa, I decided that another trip to Davistown, KY would be in order. When would I have this opportunity again? God and the ancestors had extended what was supposed to be a seven week sojourn to collect my daughter into a three-month […]