The elderly… what a manipulative, cunning bunch. Just wait! Give me a second to explain. This weekend I went with Aya to a senior assisted living home in Buckhead. She and the members of her Daisy troop went to the home to make Valentine’s Day cards with the residents so that they could earn their […]
What do Rhianna and my daughter have in common? Nothing at the moment, but if the retarded manner in which we raise and socialize girls to respect and preserve patriarchy at all costs doesn’t change, then I fear they will one day have very much in common indeed. I wish I could find a way […]
I was originally going to title this “Perpetuating the Myth of the Tooth Fairy”, but the verb in that sentence seemed so harsh and unworthy of such a beloved being. The Tooth Fairy was my most favorite mythological creature as a child. She still is. My parents had me utterly convinced of her existence. Never […]
When I go into my pediatrician’s office, there is a form I have to fill out for every visit. How many people live in the home? – 6 Does anyone smoke in the home or use tobacco products? – No Are there any fire arms in the home? – No Any pets? – Heck NO! […]
I took the kids to Wal-Mart today to start our Christmas shopping. Under normal circumstances I would already be done with our holiday purchases, but I decided to delay the stress this year. I love Christmas. I love the spirit of giving, and hot cocoa on cold winter nights, and poinsettias and Lifetime holiday movie […]
I’m an American citizen, but I haven’t had the quintessential experience of growing up “Black in America”. Like so many children of mixed cultural heritage, I was called “African booty scratcher” and all manner of pejoratives by people whose skin looked just like me. In response, I shied away from “Black life” and sought refuge […]
Only a certain type of parent will understand the essence of what I am about to share. There is an adrenaline rush that does not soon wane when you have got your tired, gnarled, grubby little hands on an object so desired by your children that it is all your family eats, lives and breathes. […]
Aya has a friend who hails from the Virgin Islands. Her name is Maddie. This particular girl got an American Girl doll for his birthday last year. “You do realize if I ge’ you this dall, it de only t’ing you geyin’ fuh your birthday, righ’?” her mother cautioned through slit eyes and teeth. The […]
They say there is no book on parenting, although volumes have been written on the subject. Raising a useful, well-functioning human being takes a lot of trial and error, luck and – at times – copious amounts of vodka. Or you could pray. I guess whichever works best in your world. I’ve never read a […]
Most people look forward to this time of the year with giddy anticipation. The coming of fall marks the true beginning of two of our most beloved seasons: football and boot season. It also marks the beginning of the holiday season, which until a few years ago meant Thanksgiving and Christmas exclusively. Somewhere along the […]
*Chants* Oh Heavenly Father on the Throne, please imbue Black people with a spirit of adoption or at least wealth oh Father, so that we might properly educate people of other races who wish to adopt our babies. Aaaaamen! I hardly know where to begin. What would you do in this situation? Today my kid’s […]
Last night I found myself in the midst of a rare crisis. While my husband’s thunderous snores ripped through the quiet night air I lay awake staring that the ceiling, tears streaming down the sides of my cheeks and puddling in my ear drums. I was thinking about my children. That in itself is not […]
*Sigh* *SIIIGHHHH!!!* When Stone started going to daycare 6 weeks ago when the school year started, I was thrilled. As many in the M.O.M. Squad know, he and I have a contentious, abusive, passionate relationship. My son and I love each other dearly, but often clash. He hasn’t yet come to the understanding that the […]
As of this morning the teachers’ strike in the city of Chicago continues and there is only one group of people I feel an iota of sympathy for: the families affected by the strike, and more specifically that parents of the children whose children will be out of the classroom for a sixth day. As […]
In the human breeding world, there are hierarchies within parenting. On a macro level there are: Perfect parents Parents who think they are perfect Parents who are just trying to keep their kids alive and breathing People who should have a gonadectomy at the earliest possible opportunity Within each of these sets exist a number […]
LMFAO penned and performed so sublime an ode to the subject of drunken disorderliness that it would be almost criminal to attempt to make it analogous to anything else. The song “Sorry for Party Rocking” is a testament to all that can go terribly wrong when one is overtaken by a substance that has the […]
It’s 3:33pm and I’ve just woken from a lovely one and a half hour nap. The house is silent save for the hum of my ceiling fan and the tapping of my keys. With the advent of back-to-school my afternoons – at least in part – are lazy and I can spend them as I […]
…or should I say “shoe off”? Whatever the case may be – Parents! I want you to reach down to your right foot and take off your Stacey Adams, your Kelly & Katies, your China made chaley wote and raise it in the air in solidarity with me. Look at your child(ren) and say the […]
I was a magnificent sight to behold. You should have seen me: svelte and toned, my body was in the best shape it had ever been in. All those hours and weeks of dogged determination and completing my Insanity program had paid off. My breasts and buttocks sat sumptuously in my high-cut, bright yellow swimming […]
Last week Marshall and I went to Ray’s on the River for lunch to celebrate our anniversary. Ray’s is located in Vinings, a very shwanky suburb of Atlanta. (And you have to say it just like that: shhwankyyy.) I thought I had been to Ray’s before, but I was wrong. As soon as pulled into […]
*I typically reserve Friday for frivolity, HOWEVER (!) this one di333, I have to speak on it! Prepare yourself for Bush Woman Mode! When you’re a parent, life will bring you a whole host of ‘firsts’, as long as you have a child in your life. Some ‘firsts’ you dread, while there are others that […]