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Essays in: Motherhood

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Motherhood

Hats Off to YOU, Creflo Dollar!

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…or should I say “shoe off”? Whatever the case may be – Parents! I want you to reach down to your right foot and take off  your Stacey Adams, your Kelly & Katies, your China made chaley wote and raise it in the air in solidarity with me. Look at your child(ren) and say the […]

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Motherhood

Blackwatch

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I was a magnificent sight to behold. You should have seen me: svelte and toned, my body was in the best shape it had ever been in. All those hours and weeks of dogged determination and completing my Insanity program had paid off. My breasts and buttocks sat sumptuously in my high-cut, bright yellow swimming […]

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Motherhood

Black Parenting Fail Week

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Last week Marshall and I went to Ray’s on the River for lunch to celebrate our anniversary. Ray’s is located in Vinings, a very shwanky suburb of Atlanta. (And you have to say it just like that: shhwankyyy.) I thought I had been to Ray’s before, but I was wrong. As soon as pulled into […]

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Motherhood

These People Want Me to Face the Firing Squad, Eh?

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*I typically reserve Friday for frivolity, HOWEVER (!) this one di333, I have to speak on it! Prepare yourself for Bush Woman Mode! When you’re a parent, life will bring you a whole host of ‘firsts’, as long as you have a child in your life. Some ‘firsts’ you dread, while there are others that […]

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Motherhood

My Five Year Old Likes to do Hair

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In case you missed it earlier this week, the interwebs were thrown into a tizzy when a mommy blogger wrote about her four year old daughter’s fascination with make-up. As your humble media servant, I have done you a favor and posted the link here so that you can read and watch for yourself something […]

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Motherhood

A Very WIC-y Situation

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I emptied my groceries from my cart and laid them onto the conveyor belt to check out. I had dutifully separated them as the guidelines required. In the past, when I had my WIC approved groceries mixed in with the items I actually wanted, the cashier and I spent an additional five minutes separating and […]

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Motherhood

Just Don’t Slam the Door, A’ight?

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Some days you know your day is going to be shot to hell before you even open your eyes. For me, it all started with a bang. It all started when Stone, my nearly 3 year old son, walked into the room this morning – which in itself was an innocent enough of an act. […]

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Motherhood

A Fugitive in My Own Home

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Some days are better than others. Most days leave me feeling beaten and looking bedraggled. I am constantly at the mercy of my two toddlers, as their disposition often sets my day. I know, this is a deplorable state to be in. After all, what self-respecting Black woman allows a 2 year old to determine […]

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Motherhood

The Violent Potential of a Bag of Skittles

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And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and remain there until I bring you word: for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him. – Matthew 2:13 When I hear […]

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Motherhood

Discipline Dilemma

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For the last two weeks Nadjah, my eldest, has come home with a bad behavioral report from school at least 3 out of 5 days a week. It has been absolutely maddening for me. As long time readers of the blog know, Nadjah is not a hooligan, but she’s no saint either. She’s capable of […]

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Motherhood

Potty Training Aids – The Battle Continues

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After making so much progress, my son has reverted and returned to taking a dump in his diaper. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but when you consider that he is a 36 lbs individual who consumes portions of food fit for boys 3 times his age, you can imagine that […]

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Motherhood

Meet Akalam Tnarg, My Kids’ “Other” Mother

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Sometimes I wonder if my kids know how good they’ve got it. At least four times a day, I ask one of them to pick up a toy or wipe up a spill that threatens to cripple a member of our household if it is removed from its precarious position. “But I didn’t do it!” […]

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Motherhood

What Do Men Have Against Meadows?

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I’m not a feminist; nor am I whatever the antonym of a feminist is. I am just a person who believes in equality, and I shall not rest until men have equal access to contraception! In the whole debate over women’s “reproductive health”, and “rights to privacy”, and all the other PC labels that rights’ […]

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Motherhood

Is Your Child Worth $0.65 a Day?

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They say that seven is the number for completion, and I have completed had it with Douche Bag. Have you seen the Unicef commercial with Alyssa Milano?  You know, the one where she is unsmilingly holding up two quarters, urging viewers to give $0.50 a day to save the life of a child? Did you […]

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Motherhood

Watch Your Words and Make Them Count

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September, 2014. It’s a date that I frequently repeat sometimes quietly; sometimes loudly; often mindlessly. September 2014 is when ALL four of my children will be of school going age, and for once, I will have some free time to myself. That is, all things being equal and the world doesn’t come to an end […]

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Motherhood

My Kindergarten Terrorists

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Salaam: It means “peace”.  My kids go to a Fulton County charter school. Their classmates are Egyptian, Senegalese, Korean and Indian. Their teachers are from Russian, Japan and Italy. They are the only public elementary school that studies environmental science for a grade. Every student in that school also receives instruction in a foreign language […]

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Motherhood

My Son; The Honey Badger

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*Readers: I must apologize to you. I haven’t blogged in over a week, because I simply haven’t had the heart. Last week, 7 year old Jorelys Rivera was raped, beaten and stabbed to death in the town next to mine, and the crime affected me emotionally. She was playing on her playground when she was […]

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Motherhood

Bye Baby. See you 'round 6:30 pm

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You know, I find that the longer I live, the less I tend to judge people. This morning I sent my 2 year old son to daycare, and I feel GLAD about it. In fact, I’ve been looking forward to sending him away since Marshall gave me the approval last Tuesday. Of the 4 kids, […]

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Motherhood

The Potty Dance

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These wicked child rearing “experts”. Once upon a time there was a child rearing expert who wrote an article on potty training. In that article he/she proposed that after the potty training parent was successful in getting the toddler (or in some cases – preschooler) to sit on the toilet and produce either  a liquid […]

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Motherhood

Addressing Mommy’s Troubling Anatomy

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The only thing that gives me comfort in my distress is the knowledge that I am not the only mother to suffer this type of humiliation. Yes fellow mothers – you may call me Misery; and I do enjoy your company. In what has apparently become my children’s unending quest to destroy my self-esteem, I  […]

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Motherhood

A Cultural Dilemma

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Nadjah ripped open her backpack last week and thrust a sheet of paper in my face. It was a permission slip from her school, requesting my signature to allow my student to participate/try out in the school’s first ever Cultural Talent show. “Presentations must be no more than 5 minutes long and must represent a […]

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