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Essays in: Motherhood

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Motherhood

The Country Club Latch Key Kid

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One of my first duties as First Lady was to have breakfast with the Bishop of our church’s international fellowship. I know what you’re thinking. Pause. Hold up. What do you mean ‘First Lady’, Malaka??? First Lady of WHAT?!? Just give me a few days and I’ll explain in delicious detail. I don’t want to […]

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Motherhood

Pissy Pants Part II

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The voice on the other end of the phone was dry in its affectation. “Mizz Grant?” “Yes?” “I have Stone with me, and he needs a change of clothes.” It was the school nurse. I muttered in exasperation and asked if she could give me 30 minutes to get there. “I’m not at home right […]

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Motherhood

Pissy Pants, Pleather Shoes and Perceptions of Poverty

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We’ve had unseasonably warm weather this February. Last week the skies were blue, a few flowers braved an attempt at bloom (for which they were summarily punished when another cold snap ran through these parts) and the sun has washed everything in its glow. My spirit could not help but be positively affected. So I […]

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Motherhood

Of Life: Its Miracles and Fragility

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*Trigger warning: Today’s post discusses miscarriage. If this is a sensitive topic for you, I beg you not to read on. Thank you, and be well and blessed.   “Is that your daughter?” “Yes. She’s my second born. She’s in the same grade as Summer.” “Is the girl that’s with her yours too?” “No,” I […]

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Motherhood

Verbal Denigration of Girls Begins Much Earlier Than We Admit or Acknowledge

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*Warning: This post contains vulgar language… You know, the type of language women and girls are subjected to every day, several times a day. Occasionally, women’s magazines, glossy journals and quirky BuzzFeed videos address the issue of gender-based harassment and violence against women using provocative imagery and devastating statistics that it sets concerned tongues wagging…for […]

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Motherhood

Marley Dias’ #1000BlackGirlBooks Campaign is a Gift to Authors of Color

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Marley Dias is an 11 year old 5th grader who saw a gap in what she was exposed to in her literary world and decided to fill it. When the New Jersey student expressed her frustration about the types of books crowding her curriculum – books about “white boys and dogs” – her mother gave […]

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Motherhood

The Proverbs 31 Wife Sounds Like a Prime Candidate for ‘Burn Out’

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This Sunday my Bishop (yes, David. I have a Bishop!) mentioned in passing that the wife of a certain predominant preacher was at a conference and decreed that the gathering of the saints was for our personal pleasure, not for God’s. He intimated that she intimated that our happiness was of greater import than that […]

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Motherhood

How 18.65 Minutes Can Lead To 18 Years (Or More) of Misery

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This is a story about the importance of condom use. Yes, some may interpret is as primarily being the sad tale of a young woman who’s bright future was dimmed over a decade ago – the wretched result of straying from the good and godly path for the sake of dick – but it’s mostly […]

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Motherhood

I Should Have Chosen My Own Happiness Over My Children’s

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“If you could go back 10 years and advise your younger self, what would you say?” As much as I hate this question because of the impossibility of the phenomenon ever taking place and therefore for the insatiable craving it creates, I find myself pondering and eventually answering it. If I could go back 10 […]

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Motherhood

My Daughter Wants to Start A YouTube Channel. Tssseeewwww….

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No. Nope. We said “You can NOT!” Ok, then tell me why. I’ll think about it. Make a list of all the items you’ll need to make a YouTube channel successful. We’ll go from there. Yes. That means you can have a YouTube channel. This is the story of how my pre-teen goaded me into […]

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Motherhood

It’s High Time For a Discussion About Postpartum Depression in African Communities

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I gave birth to my eldest daughter 9 weeks premature. Her early delivery by C-section was the result of external factors plaguing me; mainly stress. Between the numerous healthcare professionals, well-wishers and hospital cleaners, I was also visited by a number of consultants: lactation, AM Care, etc. However one of these professionals was not on […]

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Motherhood

Wouldn’t it be Great if We all Treated Each Other Like Kindergartners?

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“Mommy. NOBODY likes me.” My sister stiffened at the declaration. Her son is five, and is the only minority in his Fairfax county kindergarten classroom. Standing at no more than 38” and weighing about the same in pounds, Aiden is one of the smaller children in his age group. He is a jumble of emotions […]

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Motherhood

A Faded Cotton Dress

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It was 11:34 am and time to leave the hospital. The nurses had been wonderful, the delivery without complication. It was time to take Baby home. But Tope couldn’t decide between the three coming home outfits she’d narrowed down from ten others she’d shopped for over the course of the past 9 months. Her husband, […]

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Motherhood

Why Don't Churches Spend More Time Teaching Men to Respect and Protect Women?

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It’s always a low point on my Sunday when a pastor or Bishop or Archbishop goes into a tirade about hemlines at some point in his message. This happens week after week at Any Church, globally. My own house of worship is not immune to this scourge. Nevertheless, as a “devoted” member of my congregation, […]

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Motherhood

Consequences for the African Child After Allowing Him/Herself to be Kidnapped

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Kidnapping is real. It’s scary. It’s the reason I stopped watching Law & Order:SVU once I began bearing children. The very idea that a stranger could muster the unmitigated gall to not only initiate conversation with MY child, let alone approach him/her with the intention of stealing them away from our home causes ice to […]

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Motherhood

A Little Something about Birth Certificates, Choices and Shaun King

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Before I begin, I must implore Black people not to allow ourselves to get distracted. We must not be driven by sheep or led by the nose-ringed bull at an agricultural fair by its handler. Make no mistake: when we allow our focus to be lost to petty diversions – of any sort – we […]

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Motherhood

I am an African Mother. Why Don’t My Children’s Friends Fear Me?

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“Stone! Come and pick up all these strips of paper from my floor. Who did this?” “Argh! I told Castillo not to do this, but he said he was Sharp Boy. He was using his head to cut pieces of paper.” I paused and looked at my son, in order to process what I was […]

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Motherhood

My Great Aunt Was ‘Rosie the Riveter’

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(…or she may have been Wendy the Welder. I can’t ask her, because she’s dead.) The years between 1939-1945 must have been an intoxicating time, fraught with uncertainty, new possibilities and loads of change. The Second World War had changed everything for Americans, and my Aunt Clara was not to be exempted from the alterations […]

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Motherhood

School’s Back in…And You May Notice That The World is a Little Happier This Morning

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I’m sure this post would have been more impactful if it had been published at say, 8:00 this morning, but like many parents in Gwinnett and Fulton county, I was a bit busy outchea in these here streets, sans offspring. That’s right folks! School is back in session and all is right in the universe! […]

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Motherhood

I Talked to my Daughter About Caitlyn Jenner

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But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 I honestly wasn’t going to talk about Bruce […]

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Motherhood

Help! My 'Torso Beads' Are Too Tight and I'm Afraid…

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“Hey Malaka! What are the credentials for wearing Krobo waist beads?” “Have a waist, I suppose. I dunno. I’m not Krobo.” “Ah.” My younger cousin from my American side of the family was the one making this inquiry. She lives in Columbus, Ohio and to my knowledge, has never been out of the country. Now, […]

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