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Essays in: Motherhood

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Motherhood

What If Rashida ‘Black Beauty’ Is Exactly What Her Parents Raised Her To Be?

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The topic of Rashida’s sudden and meteoric rise to Internet fame is not something I’d planned to discuss, but a handful of people reached out to me and asked me for my thoughts privately and asked when I’d share those thoughts publicly, so here it is. I beg you not to take this as the […]

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Motherhood

I'm Supposed to be Writing about Frederick Douglas, But Here's My Audio Book Instead.

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I’m not doing a year end review this year. 2016 SUCKED, and there’s nothing more to add. I don’t understand how one year – not even 365 days as yet – could harvest the souls (and minds, in some cases) of so many favored creatives, artists, thinkers and healers. I mean, really. Take Mos Def, […]

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Motherhood

A Lesson About Success

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My son’s class conducted a life skills practical in their fourth term. Each student was given a bean, a shallow metal dish and some moist cotton in which to plant the seed. The goal was to connect the bean’s growth to the story of Jan en die boontjierank (Jack and the Beanstalk). Stone is a […]

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Motherhood

Birthday Con(ned), 2016

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“Sigh…” I looked up from my phone, irritated. It seems like Nadjah is always sighing about one thing or another these days. “What? What is it?” I demanded. I was in no mood for her mercurial tween angst. Her episodes had been a burden on my nerves for weeks. “Well… It’s just that my birthday […]

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Motherhood

The Religious Right Has Ignored Its Role in Propagating Abortion. That Ends Now.

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Q: “Serious question: Evangelicals, how could you do it? How could you support Trump?” A: “We did it to protect the most vulnerable amongst us. We did it to protect the unborn.”  ******* “So excited! I took my daughter in the booth with me to vote today. I asked her if we should vote for […]

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Motherhood

Why I Am Very Happy With My Children’s South African Education

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One of the tenants of being a Good African Mother is to make sure that your children have a quality education that will ultimately prepare them for one of three respectable professions – those being: Doctor, Lawyer and Engineer. (Engineer usurped ‘Banker’ about 15 years ego, coinciding with the rise of the proliferation of social […]

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Motherhood

How Do White Men Feel When White Women Pass Them Over For Black Men?

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I like to imagine the guys over at Men’s Health/GQ/Esquire/Popular White Male magazine tossing around a mini foam football to each other as they pitch ideas for an upcoming issue. “How about testicular cancer?” “Nah. We did that last issue. Exposés on cancer cycle every 4 months. Don’t want to alarm the readership.” “Right…right.” “Five […]

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Motherhood

I Watched the Clinton/Trump Debate With My Kid and It Was EPIC

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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump faced each other in their first public debate vying for the position of ruler or the Seven Kingdoms where one of them will eventually govern from King’s Landing aka the White House. Seriously, if there was ever a better metaphor for Game of Thrones, it was the mess that unfolded […]

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Motherhood

Fist Bumps to the So-Called Social Media Feminists!

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A July article written by Betty Kankam-Boadu and (re)published on Starr FM made the social media rounds yesterday afternoon to the mirth and amusement of all who chimed in to comment on Ms. Kankam-Boadu’s contribution on the conversation surrounding feminism in Ghana. My initial reaction after I read the article entitled “To the so-called feminists […]

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Motherhood

My Girls Live in Africa And We’re Afraid to Get Our Hair Braided

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South Africa… Land of the Big Six and the Proteas. Land of Mandela’s birth. Land where edges go to DIE. One of the things I was most excited about in moving to South Africa was the prospect of having my hair slayed every week. Compared to prices in the States, cornrows and braids are delightfully […]

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Motherhood

There’s an American Woman Walking Around Plett with a Vibrator in Her Handbag

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Honestly, I forgot it was there. Just wait! Let me explain. August is Women’s Month, and last night I went to our school’s annual ladies get together: Fabulous Women. Fabulous Women…what? Dancing? Eating? They said, “Haibo! We said ‘Fabulous Women.’ Finished! You just buy your ticket and come. And so I went. The event was […]

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Motherhood

Not Just in Africa: A History of ‘Hyenas’

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An article on BBC about a man hired by a community in Malawi to have sex with children went viral this week. Eric Aniva, the man featured in the story, is locally known as a ‘hyena’ and is paid approximately $6.00 to have sex with girls once they reach puberty. The members of this community, […]

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Motherhood

I’ll Never Be Able to Make My Children Happy in Africa

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Not that that’s a problem. I’ve all but abandoned the quest to guide and ensure my children’s happiness. That doesn’t mean that I won’t do everything in my power to make sure that they are healthy individuals, equipped with the tools to lead sorta successful lives at some point in the future. But happiness? That’s […]

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Motherhood

My Personal Choices From My Previous Life Lived in America Have Come to Haunt Me in South Africa

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*Note: This is not a lament, nor am I disparaging my host country. These are simply musings based on my observations. Today as I sat in the lobby of the local branch of Standard Bank and found my senses assaulted by the glare of LED lights that bounced off the newly waxed floors, I felt […]

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Motherhood

Why I Let My Girls Jump In the Frigid Pool Waters at the Holiday Inn

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We were stinky. We were cranky. We were happy to have the cylindrical flying ship that had borne us from one hemisphere to another at our backs. Finally! We were in South Africa! After making small talk with the man at the reception desk at the Holiday Inn in Jo’burg and tipping our very happy […]

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Motherhood

Sisters: Try to Find a Balanced Approach to Mothering… If You Can

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Once upon a time, in a town just like yours, there lived two mothers. There were seven children born between the pair, each child in possession of the average needs that you’d expect: food, shelter and love. These the two mothers provided faithfully. One night, a terrible frost struck the town and all of the […]

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Motherhood

My Daughter Asked Her Teacher When She and Her Boyfriend Were Going to ‘Do It’ and now Hell has Broken Loose

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Last night as I was wearily putting the kids to bed, there was one thought that subdued all others jostling for dominance: God! Just one more day until the weekend. The thought of Friday night set my heart racing. Friday is a euphemism for ‘Saturday Eve’, a day when we can get out of bed […]

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Motherhood

The Country Club Latch Key Kid

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One of my first duties as First Lady was to have breakfast with the Bishop of our church’s international fellowship. I know what you’re thinking. Pause. Hold up. What do you mean ‘First Lady’, Malaka??? First Lady of WHAT?!? Just give me a few days and I’ll explain in delicious detail. I don’t want to […]

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Motherhood

Pissy Pants Part II

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The voice on the other end of the phone was dry in its affectation. “Mizz Grant?” “Yes?” “I have Stone with me, and he needs a change of clothes.” It was the school nurse. I muttered in exasperation and asked if she could give me 30 minutes to get there. “I’m not at home right […]

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Motherhood

Pissy Pants, Pleather Shoes and Perceptions of Poverty

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We’ve had unseasonably warm weather this February. Last week the skies were blue, a few flowers braved an attempt at bloom (for which they were summarily punished when another cold snap ran through these parts) and the sun has washed everything in its glow. My spirit could not help but be positively affected. So I […]

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Motherhood

Of Life: Its Miracles and Fragility

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*Trigger warning: Today’s post discusses miscarriage. If this is a sensitive topic for you, I beg you not to read on. Thank you, and be well and blessed.   “Is that your daughter?” “Yes. She’s my second born. She’s in the same grade as Summer.” “Is the girl that’s with her yours too?” “No,” I […]

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