Aya has a friend who hails from the Virgin Islands. Her name is Maddie. This particular girl got an American Girl doll for his birthday last year. “You do realize if I ge’ you this dall, it de only t’ing you geyin’ fuh your birthday, righ’?” her mother cautioned through slit eyes and teeth. The […]
They say there is no book on parenting, although volumes have been written on the subject. Raising a useful, well-functioning human being takes a lot of trial and error, luck and – at times – copious amounts of vodka. Or you could pray. I guess whichever works best in your world. I’ve never read a […]
Most people look forward to this time of the year with giddy anticipation. The coming of fall marks the true beginning of two of our most beloved seasons: football and boot season. It also marks the beginning of the holiday season, which until a few years ago meant Thanksgiving and Christmas exclusively. Somewhere along the […]
*Chants* Oh Heavenly Father on the Throne, please imbue Black people with a spirit of adoption or at least wealth oh Father, so that we might properly educate people of other races who wish to adopt our babies. Aaaaamen! I hardly know where to begin. What would you do in this situation? Today my kid’s […]
Last night I found myself in the midst of a rare crisis. While my husband’s thunderous snores ripped through the quiet night air I lay awake staring that the ceiling, tears streaming down the sides of my cheeks and puddling in my ear drums. I was thinking about my children. That in itself is not […]
*Sigh* *SIIIGHHHH!!!* When Stone started going to daycare 6 weeks ago when the school year started, I was thrilled. As many in the M.O.M. Squad know, he and I have a contentious, abusive, passionate relationship. My son and I love each other dearly, but often clash. He hasn’t yet come to the understanding that the […]
As of this morning the teachers’ strike in the city of Chicago continues and there is only one group of people I feel an iota of sympathy for: the families affected by the strike, and more specifically that parents of the children whose children will be out of the classroom for a sixth day. As […]
In the human breeding world, there are hierarchies within parenting. On a macro level there are: Perfect parents Parents who think they are perfect Parents who are just trying to keep their kids alive and breathing People who should have a gonadectomy at the earliest possible opportunity Within each of these sets exist a number […]
LMFAO penned and performed so sublime an ode to the subject of drunken disorderliness that it would be almost criminal to attempt to make it analogous to anything else. The song “Sorry for Party Rocking” is a testament to all that can go terribly wrong when one is overtaken by a substance that has the […]
It’s 3:33pm and I’ve just woken from a lovely one and a half hour nap. The house is silent save for the hum of my ceiling fan and the tapping of my keys. With the advent of back-to-school my afternoons – at least in part – are lazy and I can spend them as I […]
…or should I say “shoe off”? Whatever the case may be – Parents! I want you to reach down to your right foot and take off your Stacey Adams, your Kelly & Katies, your China made chaley wote and raise it in the air in solidarity with me. Look at your child(ren) and say the […]
I was a magnificent sight to behold. You should have seen me: svelte and toned, my body was in the best shape it had ever been in. All those hours and weeks of dogged determination and completing my Insanity program had paid off. My breasts and buttocks sat sumptuously in my high-cut, bright yellow swimming […]
Last week Marshall and I went to Ray’s on the River for lunch to celebrate our anniversary. Ray’s is located in Vinings, a very shwanky suburb of Atlanta. (And you have to say it just like that: shhwankyyy.) I thought I had been to Ray’s before, but I was wrong. As soon as pulled into […]
*I typically reserve Friday for frivolity, HOWEVER (!) this one di333, I have to speak on it! Prepare yourself for Bush Woman Mode! When you’re a parent, life will bring you a whole host of ‘firsts’, as long as you have a child in your life. Some ‘firsts’ you dread, while there are others that […]
In case you missed it earlier this week, the interwebs were thrown into a tizzy when a mommy blogger wrote about her four year old daughter’s fascination with make-up. As your humble media servant, I have done you a favor and posted the link here so that you can read and watch for yourself something […]
I emptied my groceries from my cart and laid them onto the conveyor belt to check out. I had dutifully separated them as the guidelines required. In the past, when I had my WIC approved groceries mixed in with the items I actually wanted, the cashier and I spent an additional five minutes separating and […]
Some days you know your day is going to be shot to hell before you even open your eyes. For me, it all started with a bang. It all started when Stone, my nearly 3 year old son, walked into the room this morning – which in itself was an innocent enough of an act. […]
Some days are better than others. Most days leave me feeling beaten and looking bedraggled. I am constantly at the mercy of my two toddlers, as their disposition often sets my day. I know, this is a deplorable state to be in. After all, what self-respecting Black woman allows a 2 year old to determine […]
And when they were departed, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt, and remain there until I bring you word: for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him. – Matthew 2:13 When I hear […]
For the last two weeks Nadjah, my eldest, has come home with a bad behavioral report from school at least 3 out of 5 days a week. It has been absolutely maddening for me. As long time readers of the blog know, Nadjah is not a hooligan, but she’s no saint either. She’s capable of […]
After making so much progress, my son has reverted and returned to taking a dump in his diaper. This may not sound like a big deal to you, but when you consider that he is a 36 lbs individual who consumes portions of food fit for boys 3 times his age, you can imagine that […]