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Essays in: Motherhood

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Motherhood

My Daughter Wants to Start A YouTube Channel. Tssseeewwww….

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No. Nope. We said “You can NOT!” Ok, then tell me why. I’ll think about it. Make a list of all the items you’ll need to make a YouTube channel successful. We’ll go from there. Yes. That means you can have a YouTube channel. This is the story of how my pre-teen goaded me into […]

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Motherhood

It’s High Time For a Discussion About Postpartum Depression in African Communities

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I gave birth to my eldest daughter 9 weeks premature. Her early delivery by C-section was the result of external factors plaguing me; mainly stress. Between the numerous healthcare professionals, well-wishers and hospital cleaners, I was also visited by a number of consultants: lactation, AM Care, etc. However one of these professionals was not on […]

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Motherhood

Wouldn’t it be Great if We all Treated Each Other Like Kindergartners?

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“Mommy. NOBODY likes me.” My sister stiffened at the declaration. Her son is five, and is the only minority in his Fairfax county kindergarten classroom. Standing at no more than 38” and weighing about the same in pounds, Aiden is one of the smaller children in his age group. He is a jumble of emotions […]

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Motherhood

A Faded Cotton Dress

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It was 11:34 am and time to leave the hospital. The nurses had been wonderful, the delivery without complication. It was time to take Baby home. But Tope couldn’t decide between the three coming home outfits she’d narrowed down from ten others she’d shopped for over the course of the past 9 months. Her husband, […]

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Motherhood

Why Don't Churches Spend More Time Teaching Men to Respect and Protect Women?

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It’s always a low point on my Sunday when a pastor or Bishop or Archbishop goes into a tirade about hemlines at some point in his message. This happens week after week at Any Church, globally. My own house of worship is not immune to this scourge. Nevertheless, as a “devoted” member of my congregation, […]

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Motherhood

Consequences for the African Child After Allowing Him/Herself to be Kidnapped

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Kidnapping is real. It’s scary. It’s the reason I stopped watching Law & Order:SVU once I began bearing children. The very idea that a stranger could muster the unmitigated gall to not only initiate conversation with MY child, let alone approach him/her with the intention of stealing them away from our home causes ice to […]

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Motherhood

A Little Something about Birth Certificates, Choices and Shaun King

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Before I begin, I must implore Black people not to allow ourselves to get distracted. We must not be driven by sheep or led by the nose-ringed bull at an agricultural fair by its handler. Make no mistake: when we allow our focus to be lost to petty diversions – of any sort – we […]

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Motherhood

I am an African Mother. Why Don’t My Children’s Friends Fear Me?

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“Stone! Come and pick up all these strips of paper from my floor. Who did this?” “Argh! I told Castillo not to do this, but he said he was Sharp Boy. He was using his head to cut pieces of paper.” I paused and looked at my son, in order to process what I was […]

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Motherhood

My Great Aunt Was ‘Rosie the Riveter’

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(…or she may have been Wendy the Welder. I can’t ask her, because she’s dead.) The years between 1939-1945 must have been an intoxicating time, fraught with uncertainty, new possibilities and loads of change. The Second World War had changed everything for Americans, and my Aunt Clara was not to be exempted from the alterations […]

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Motherhood

School’s Back in…And You May Notice That The World is a Little Happier This Morning

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I’m sure this post would have been more impactful if it had been published at say, 8:00 this morning, but like many parents in Gwinnett and Fulton county, I was a bit busy outchea in these here streets, sans offspring. That’s right folks! School is back in session and all is right in the universe! […]

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Motherhood

I Talked to my Daughter About Caitlyn Jenner

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But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7 I honestly wasn’t going to talk about Bruce […]

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Motherhood

Help! My 'Torso Beads' Are Too Tight and I'm Afraid…

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“Hey Malaka! What are the credentials for wearing Krobo waist beads?” “Have a waist, I suppose. I dunno. I’m not Krobo.” “Ah.” My younger cousin from my American side of the family was the one making this inquiry. She lives in Columbus, Ohio and to my knowledge, has never been out of the country. Now, […]

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Motherhood

We Survived the End of the School Year Melee

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Shouts out to all my parents, guardians and grandparents raising grandbabies in The Struggle. We did it. The end of the school year has come and if you’re reading this, it means that you still had a little bit of change left over to pay your internet and light bill. You tha real MVP. Nana […]

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Motherhood

My Daughter Spoke to Me in a Tone That Nearly Sent Me into a Rage

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I was once a child, and it seems like it wasn’t that long ago. I remember ages 5, 10 and 13 quite vividly, in fact. Because those emotions and memories of childhood are so intense…nearly tangible… I find that I have a great deal of empathy for my own children as they navigate this phase […]

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Motherhood

My Son’s Love of Trains Lead me to Several Shocking Discovery

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Having children can greatly enrich your life. If you don’t believe that, just ask Mark and Rhea (who have chosen not to release their surnames to the public), who go by the YouTube username “ilovemaything”. They made $1 million just uploading videos of their kids Maya and Hulyan playing with toy trains. My son, Stone, […]

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Motherhood

Weaves, Pain, Desire, Prayer and Love

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I’m going to attempt to put a week’s worth of thoughts into 1500 words or less. Bear with me. Oh yes, and before we begin #NotAllMen and #NotAllWomen. Some of you people are Cinderella’s step sister, forcing your foot into the proverbial slipper of my observations that was not intended for you… I hate a […]

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Motherhood

Mo’Ne Davis’ Accepting Casselberry's Apology is ‘Mature’, but it Ain’t ‘Right’

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It’s pretty hard not to be in the know where Mo’Ne Davis is concerned. Even if you were previously unfamiliar with her name, you certainly heard of her story. She is that (now) 13 year old girl who played in the 2014 Little League World Series and is the first girl to earn a win […]

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Motherhood

My Daughter Wants to Go to College to Learn How to Sew, Knit and Cook

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Happy International Women’s Month! I have been struggling to decide how I should celebrate the month on the blog in a meaningful way and as they often do, my children provided me the answer without intending to do so. This morning, my daughter informed me that she wants to go to college to “learn how […]

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Motherhood

Perpetuating Half Truths and Whole Lies: My History of Black History Failure

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As Black History Month draws to a close in a few hours, I find myself reflecting over the past 28 days – as I do annually – to determine what grade I would give myself for how the month was celebrated. I fret over whether my family attended enough events, whether the information my children […]

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Motherhood

Respectability Politics and Black Motherhood in America

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Yesterday was Presidents’ Day, and like many stay-at-home moms across this country, I stayed at home with my kid. School was out and the older girls had come up with the wonderful idea to hold a mock election at home to see who would assume the position of “President for the Week”. As they busied […]

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Motherhood

I Had to Pull My Son Out of Kindergarten…and I’m Thunderstruck

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Out of respect for the institution that my other children have attended over the past 3-4 years, I will not mention its name or put it on blast…but Gawd A’mighty knows I want to!   When we took Stone to kindergarten I was ecstatic. Finally, my son was entering the world of elementary education. He […]

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