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Essays in: Madness

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Madness

Welcome to Malaka Fashion Week!

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Heeiii! These Nigerians! This week marks the beginning of Lagos Fashion week, which would have begun last night had the models for the show not gone on strike. After waiting for 5 hours for the show to begin, the crème-de-la-crème of Africa’s emerging fashion industry were informed that the show would not begin as scheduled […]

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Madness

Big Booty, Little Booty

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As Black people, everything we do is rhythmic and straying from rhythm can sometimes have dire consequences. When we pound fufu, it’s with rhythm. When we pull our nets in from the sea, we do so with rhythm. And when a Black woman walks, it is with a unique rhythm. I don’t know about any […]

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Madness

My 5 in 5 Interview on The Afropolitan Experience 2.0

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It was all fun and games when I put on my jesters hat and poked fun at myself yesterday after recounting my insecurities concerning my debut web interview. The laughs stopped for many people when I apparently pulled out a whip and flogged myself publicly. A few of my readers contacting me privately and told […]

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Madness

My 5 in 5 Interview on The Afropolitan Experience

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Earlier this week I had the opportunity to do an interview with George Ukomadu, creator and host of 5in5Africa. The format of the show is 5 questions in 5 minutes featuring interesting people who are making Africa shine. Of course I was honored to be included in a group of people described as agents of […]

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Madness

How Did You ‘Coming to America’?

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“I’m planning a trip to Africa, and I would love for you to join me.” “Uhh…I dunno. When I think of Africa, I think of…” “Women walkin’ around with their breasts going ‘jiggy-jiggy-jiggy’?” (Cackles and simulates jiggling breasts with her hands.) “Hahahhaaa!” Conversation between Phaedra Parks and Kandi Burruss during a recent episode of Real […]

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Madness

What the First Lady’s Hair Tells You About the President

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Three nights ago many in the nation tuned in to watch Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich exchange fire from their individual podiums during the GOP presidential debate. Rick Santorum and Ron Paul’s presence served no real purpose, but it was kind of them to show up in person to witness the exchange with the rest […]

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Madness

Once Upon Dolvett

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  This morning I woke up bathed in sweat. My mouth was dry as desert sand, and my hair was matted to my face. My racing heart threatened to burn through my rib cage and beat its last on my cream cotton sheets. Dolvett Quince had come to me in my sleep. For those of […]

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Madness

Going Out With a Splat

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If you’ve worked more than a day in your life, chances are you’ve had a bad day at work at some point. If you have more bad days than good on that job, chances are you grew to hate that job. If you were economically stable enough to do so, chances are you quit said […]

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Madness

How Douche Bag Took My 2011 Out With a Bang

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2011 was a hard year for a lot of folks. Steve Jobs died, tainted cantaloupes were killing people all over the country…and then there was that whole tsunami thing in Japan. Whew! It’s enough to make your head spin. For my part, 2011 was actually a pretty good year. I got to go to South […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: All Black is not “Black”

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The final days with the Rajwanis ended similarly to how they began. Ravi would search out Annabelle to find an item he’d “misplaced”, and she’d quietly walk him to where he’d left it on the floor in his bedroom. Anitha would command her to wash a pot she was preparing to cook dinner with while […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: A Home Where Generosity Doth Abide

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“You know, I’m a very generous person. I’m kind. I’m considerate…very giving, you know. I’m always thinking of others.” – Anitha Rajwani Ravi came home the following Tuesday afternoon, carrying in the mail. As was his custom, he left his jacket on the sofa, his shoes by the stairs and his briefcase on the dining […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: Gimme One Reason to Stay Here, and We’ll Play it By Ear

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“She’s a terrible communicator, and very lazy,” Anitha whispered. “Oh. Wow,” said her interviewee in surprise. “And she was awful with Serena…very unkind. Not loving at all.” As Anitha continued to rant about how Annabelle never did any work around the house, she shifted her body a bit closer to hear a bit better. When […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: MIT – Monster In Training

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When Annabelle pulled in the parking space behind the house, a trove of garbage greeted her at the back door. Ravi had left in a hurry that morning, so the culprit responsible for this crime was obvious. “Anitha.” Annabelle sucked her teeth and stepped over the rotting pumpkins that had been used to decorate for […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: A Bone in Her Nose and a Plug in Her Lip

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Money has been described as many things: The root of all evil; the answer to all things; bait for hookers; you name it. The truth is money is a tool. It is a catalyst and an accelerant, and one of the things that it accelerates is ones character. I once heard someone say that money […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: The Fern and The Last Straw (pt II)

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The next morning Serena and Annabelle encountered Anitha at the dining room table as the child was leaving for school. “Mommy has been very lazy,” she moaned to her daughter. “I have so much to do and so little time to do it! Mommy has to clean the carriage house.” She let her eyes lift […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: The Fern and The Last Straw (pt I)

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The morning after “Pantygate”, Anitha met Annabelle in the kitchen as had become their custom. Neither was a morning person, so they generally kept their greetings brief. “Good morning.” “Good morning.” Annabelle had just finished buttering her bread silently and preparing to take her tea to her room when Anitha stopped her. “Umm, you know […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: Some Colors Never Change

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“Hey!!! I need help changing my clothes!!!!” Serena had taken to calling Annabelle “Hey” recently. It grated on Annabelle’s nerves to no end. What 39 year old woman responds to “hey”, particularly when the address is elicited from the mouth of a 3 year old brat? Annabelle and Anitha both glanced up at the stairs. […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: Serena, Serena; Cuddly as a Cactus, Sugary as Arsenic

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Whatever Serena lacked in poise and politeness, she made up for in intelligence. Much as it pained Annabelle to admit it, she had to acknowledge that fact. It was with amusement that Annabelle noted the Serena had picked up on hymns and songs that she had been singing while she was completing the drudgery that […]

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Madness

Black Friday, But Only If You Dare

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Tomorrow marks the beginning of the holiday shopping season…or at least it DID in years past. This year a number of retailers are encroaching on the holidays by sparking the Black Friday frenzy on Thanksgiving night, thereby cutting into what should be time off from the insanity. But that’s another discussion for someone else’s blog. […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: Analyzing Anitha

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Annabelle’s first weekend had come and gone without much event. She spent the entire 48 hours holed up in her room with no agenda, aside from analyzing her current situation. Had a university degree and years spent working in corporate America all culminated into this lunacy? Was she a failure? She quickly shook the thought […]

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Madness

The Hue Violet: A House of Cards

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All families have one outstanding trait about them. Some are renowned for their kindness and warmth, others for generational wealth, and some yet still for their cruelty. Think about your own family, Reader. Are you all jokers? Given to academics, perhaps? No doubt there are values that your parents and grandparents instilled in your lineage […]

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