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Essays in: Motherhood

Categories:  MotherhoodMarriageMadnessMusingsPhoto Essay FridayRHKOASay what??The South African SeriesUncategorizedGH2013
Motherhood

There’s an American Woman Walking Around Plett with a Vibrator in Her Handbag

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Honestly, I forgot it was there. Just wait! Let me explain. August is Women’s Month, and last night I went to our school’s annual ladies get together: Fabulous Women. Fabulous Women…what? Dancing? Eating? They said, “Haibo! We said ‘Fabulous Women.’ Finished! You just buy your ticket and come. And so I went. The event was […]

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Motherhood

Not Just in Africa: A History of ‘Hyenas’

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An article on BBC about a man hired by a community in Malawi to have sex with children went viral this week. Eric Aniva, the man featured in the story, is locally known as a ‘hyena’ and is paid approximately $6.00 to have sex with girls once they reach puberty. The members of this community, […]

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Motherhood

I’ll Never Be Able to Make My Children Happy in Africa

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Not that that’s a problem. I’ve all but abandoned the quest to guide and ensure my children’s happiness. That doesn’t mean that I won’t do everything in my power to make sure that they are healthy individuals, equipped with the tools to lead sorta successful lives at some point in the future. But happiness? That’s […]

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Motherhood

My Personal Choices From My Previous Life Lived in America Have Come to Haunt Me in South Africa

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*Note: This is not a lament, nor am I disparaging my host country. These are simply musings based on my observations. Today as I sat in the lobby of the local branch of Standard Bank and found my senses assaulted by the glare of LED lights that bounced off the newly waxed floors, I felt […]

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Motherhood

Why I Let My Girls Jump In the Frigid Pool Waters at the Holiday Inn

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We were stinky. We were cranky. We were happy to have the cylindrical flying ship that had borne us from one hemisphere to another at our backs. Finally! We were in South Africa! After making small talk with the man at the reception desk at the Holiday Inn in Jo’burg and tipping our very happy […]

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Motherhood

Sisters: Try to Find a Balanced Approach to Mothering… If You Can

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Once upon a time, in a town just like yours, there lived two mothers. There were seven children born between the pair, each child in possession of the average needs that you’d expect: food, shelter and love. These the two mothers provided faithfully. One night, a terrible frost struck the town and all of the […]

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Motherhood

My Daughter Asked Her Teacher When She and Her Boyfriend Were Going to ‘Do It’ and now Hell has Broken Loose

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Last night as I was wearily putting the kids to bed, there was one thought that subdued all others jostling for dominance: God! Just one more day until the weekend. The thought of Friday night set my heart racing. Friday is a euphemism for ‘Saturday Eve’, a day when we can get out of bed […]

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Motherhood

The Country Club Latch Key Kid

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One of my first duties as First Lady was to have breakfast with the Bishop of our church’s international fellowship. I know what you’re thinking. Pause. Hold up. What do you mean ‘First Lady’, Malaka??? First Lady of WHAT?!? Just give me a few days and I’ll explain in delicious detail. I don’t want to […]

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Motherhood

Pissy Pants Part II

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The voice on the other end of the phone was dry in its affectation. “Mizz Grant?” “Yes?” “I have Stone with me, and he needs a change of clothes.” It was the school nurse. I muttered in exasperation and asked if she could give me 30 minutes to get there. “I’m not at home right […]

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Motherhood

Pissy Pants, Pleather Shoes and Perceptions of Poverty

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We’ve had unseasonably warm weather this February. Last week the skies were blue, a few flowers braved an attempt at bloom (for which they were summarily punished when another cold snap ran through these parts) and the sun has washed everything in its glow. My spirit could not help but be positively affected. So I […]

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Motherhood

Of Life: Its Miracles and Fragility

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*Trigger warning: Today’s post discusses miscarriage. If this is a sensitive topic for you, I beg you not to read on. Thank you, and be well and blessed.   “Is that your daughter?” “Yes. She’s my second born. She’s in the same grade as Summer.” “Is the girl that’s with her yours too?” “No,” I […]

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Motherhood

Verbal Denigration of Girls Begins Much Earlier Than We Admit or Acknowledge

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*Warning: This post contains vulgar language… You know, the type of language women and girls are subjected to every day, several times a day. Occasionally, women’s magazines, glossy journals and quirky BuzzFeed videos address the issue of gender-based harassment and violence against women using provocative imagery and devastating statistics that it sets concerned tongues wagging…for […]

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Motherhood

Marley Dias’ #1000BlackGirlBooks Campaign is a Gift to Authors of Color

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Marley Dias is an 11 year old 5th grader who saw a gap in what she was exposed to in her literary world and decided to fill it. When the New Jersey student expressed her frustration about the types of books crowding her curriculum – books about “white boys and dogs” – her mother gave […]

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Motherhood

The Proverbs 31 Wife Sounds Like a Prime Candidate for ‘Burn Out’

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This Sunday my Bishop (yes, David. I have a Bishop!) mentioned in passing that the wife of a certain predominant preacher was at a conference and decreed that the gathering of the saints was for our personal pleasure, not for God’s. He intimated that she intimated that our happiness was of greater import than that […]

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Motherhood

How 18.65 Minutes Can Lead To 18 Years (Or More) of Misery

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This is a story about the importance of condom use. Yes, some may interpret is as primarily being the sad tale of a young woman who’s bright future was dimmed over a decade ago – the wretched result of straying from the good and godly path for the sake of dick – but it’s mostly […]

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Motherhood

I Should Have Chosen My Own Happiness Over My Children’s

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“If you could go back 10 years and advise your younger self, what would you say?” As much as I hate this question because of the impossibility of the phenomenon ever taking place and therefore for the insatiable craving it creates, I find myself pondering and eventually answering it. If I could go back 10 […]

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Motherhood

My Daughter Wants to Start A YouTube Channel. Tssseeewwww….

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No. Nope. We said “You can NOT!” Ok, then tell me why. I’ll think about it. Make a list of all the items you’ll need to make a YouTube channel successful. We’ll go from there. Yes. That means you can have a YouTube channel. This is the story of how my pre-teen goaded me into […]

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Motherhood

It’s High Time For a Discussion About Postpartum Depression in African Communities

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I gave birth to my eldest daughter 9 weeks premature. Her early delivery by C-section was the result of external factors plaguing me; mainly stress. Between the numerous healthcare professionals, well-wishers and hospital cleaners, I was also visited by a number of consultants: lactation, AM Care, etc. However one of these professionals was not on […]

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Motherhood

Wouldn’t it be Great if We all Treated Each Other Like Kindergartners?

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“Mommy. NOBODY likes me.” My sister stiffened at the declaration. Her son is five, and is the only minority in his Fairfax county kindergarten classroom. Standing at no more than 38” and weighing about the same in pounds, Aiden is one of the smaller children in his age group. He is a jumble of emotions […]

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Motherhood

A Faded Cotton Dress

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It was 11:34 am and time to leave the hospital. The nurses had been wonderful, the delivery without complication. It was time to take Baby home. But Tope couldn’t decide between the three coming home outfits she’d narrowed down from ten others she’d shopped for over the course of the past 9 months. Her husband, […]

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Motherhood

Why Don't Churches Spend More Time Teaching Men to Respect and Protect Women?

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It’s always a low point on my Sunday when a pastor or Bishop or Archbishop goes into a tirade about hemlines at some point in his message. This happens week after week at Any Church, globally. My own house of worship is not immune to this scourge. Nevertheless, as a “devoted” member of my congregation, […]

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