Essays in: Motherhood

I never thought I’d say it, but there are days when when I long for the simplicity of exploding diapers, hostile tantrums and 2am feedings. The same is not true for every mother, but I couldn’t wait to hold conversations with my kids. I would respond to their earnest, incoherent babble with seriousness and equal […]

At 8:15 every morning I take a water aerobics class because Big Girls need fitness too. And because while my breasts are cumbersome, vexing impediments to my speed while on land, they make excellent built-in flotation devices. Buoyant things, those GGs. So anyway, it’s me and the oumas in the pool every morning. At first […]

Besides, a boyfriend isn’t what she’s really after. What she wants is social acceptance and external validation…which is normal for a person her age. On some level, we all crave this.

Do you suffer from Diastasis Recti? Has childbirth left your belly looking like it got a 50% score on the attempt? Do you have so much muffin top that people mistake you for a walking Pillsbury ad? No? Then you can skip this post. The rest of you, follow me to Bellefit.com! I’m 9 years […]

Mothering comes in various stages of learning to unlearn to relearn. Isn’t that what the woke, young folks say these days? “We gotta learn to unlearn…” Whatever. As I type this I am sitting in a bar with a splitting headache. It’s * checks phone * 9:47 am. I’ve ordered a margarita because it seems […]

When I was at Hampton University doing my undergrad, I had classes with a student named Jemilla, an entity so powerful that at 18 she could only be described as more woman than girl. In the entirety of my (by then) very short life, I had never encountered a peer with a firmer grip on […]

“This video makes me feel lazy and messy and dumb.” Eh? Who is making my baby – only male offspring to jettison himself from my womb – feel ‘dumb’? As I whip around, I am confronted with the knot of muscles and knitted brows that often form a cast on my son’s bearing: frowning, disapproving, […]

Raising a teenager is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and that’s saying a lot – because I’ve had a pretty difficult life. From homelessness (my family had to live with relatives for a stint before ‘upgrading’ to a hotel – the same hotel where my uncle molested me at age 8); to hunger; to […]

Sixteen years ago I used to run a satirical blog called Maizebreak.com. It is now defunct. I would write parodies of the real news, conjure crazy and unlikely stories and photoshop images for humorous effect. It was my African answer to The Onion, which I discovered around early 2002. MaizeBreak did enjoy the longevity that […]

The 28th of May is Menstrual Hygiene Day! And you thought it was just another Monday. Surprise! Menstrual Hygiene Day (MH Day) is a global platform that brings together non-profits, government agencies, the private sector, the media and individuals to promote Menstrual Hygiene Management (MHM). MH Day raises awareness of the challenges women and girls […]

I often talk about the teachers who shaped both the writer and woman I am today. Not infrequently, I mention one teacher’s name with more regularity than any other. (Go to Door Number 5 to receive your prize if you smiled wryly and said, “Mr. Quist.”) When done right, teaching is a difficult job. There […]

“There is no man more single than a married man in Joburg.”   Joy FM host Naa Ashorkor Mensa-Doku wanted to know why modern women are choosing to have children outside of the confines of traditional marriage and there was no shortage of men waiting to give her an answer. In fact, there was such […]

My two oldest children are 13 and 11 years old, which means that they are just about done losing teeth. This is a good thing, because there are few things creepier than tiptoeing into a pre-teens room in the dead of night, swathed only in a bed sheet or boxer shorts (depending on who’s playing […]

Sympathy noun Understanding between people; common feeling It doesn’t matter if your child is a few days old or well into their fifties; a parent is most likely to assess an unfamiliar scenario with one uppermost question: “Am I responding to this situation the right way?” Whether confronted with a choice between letting your infant […]

It’s another thought piece centering on Black Panther, y’all! Just ride with me for a sec. I think it will be worth your while.   Since the release of Black Panther last week, there have been many conversations (and on certain Sci-Fi fan pages, outright diatribes) about who deserves the title ‘hero’ and ‘liberator’ in […]

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job […]

Is your little man tired of receiving khakis, hoodies and socks for Christmas? Has exhaustion from exerting yourself all year depleted your creative capacity? Do you want him – like his father- to just be grateful for the gift of refined cotton?? If the title of this post caused your pulse to quicken, knowing that […]

‘Bullying’ isn’t just a 21st century buzzword that is strewn about like bunting at a state fair – it’s a real social scourge that affects millions of children worldwide, every day. Bullying has measurable and serious consequences, including diminished self-esteem, depression and suicide. It’s not something any one of us should take lightly, either as […]

I’ve been sitting on this post for a week or better. The subject matter is one that people like myself – empaths – would much rather leave to our darkest imaginations than speak about, the risk being that the undesired event may come to pass. But if you’ve lived a day over 20, you know […]

In late January we moved the TV from the game room upstairs to the bottom floor in order to accommodate guests who would be occupying the suite where we once gathered as a family. When I say “we”, I really mean “they”: my children. The soft glow emitting from the television has long been a […]

Friday nights are when Nadjah catches up with her friends back in Atlanta. As her mates are preparing to finish up sixth grade, she has just started the second term of seventh. This is a hard time for all of us, but Nadjah most especially. We’re dealing with puberty, popularity and what seems to be […]