He’s like the drunken frat boy that shows up in the auditorium while you’re in the midst of defending your senior thesis, spewing obscenities and waving his shriveled penis at the distinguished panel in mock contempt. He is the Evil Kool-Aid man of the Executive Branch. He bursts onto the national scene with verbal and verbose absurdities at the most inopportune time. And if he keeps this going, he’s going to cost the president re-election.
‘He’ is Joe Biden.
I’d love a face to face interview with Mr. Biden, but I understand that that will never be a reality. I’m busy working and he is busy crisscrossing the country with his message of fear and doom, prophesying to loyal constituents who lap whatever he’s placed in his benevolently cupped VP hand. This week, it was a warning to the people of Danville, Virginia.
“Mitt Romney wants to unchain Wall Street!” he thundered ominously. “Huh. He’s gonna put y’all back in chains.”
I admit, I laughed when I first heard him say that. It was like listening to a “yo’ momma” joke, and then realizing much too late that he was talking about MY momma. On the surface it was reminiscent of Don Imus and his nappy headed hoes comment; and at its core it was beneath the office of the Vice President of the United States.
Joe Biden is a nice guy, I’m sure, but his problem – to put it crudely – is that he just doesn’t give a f*ck. There are certain things you don’t say to certain groups. Here’s an example of something you wouldn’t want to say to a group of Jews.
“Mitt Romney wants to fuel Wall Street… and gas its efforts. Huh. He’ll put y’all back in gas chambers!”
Do you see how that can be construed as relating to the Holocaust? Do you see how that is terribly inappropriate?!?
Given the Democratic Party’s historical involvement in the maiming, raping, dehumanizing and enslavement of African-Americans in this country, I wonder if Vice President Biden might be on to a sinister plot that the rest of us are unaware of. IS there another round of slavery coming for my people? What kinds of chains is he referring to? Does he mean ‘chains’ circa 1532 when Europeans raided African villages and forcibly placed them on ships set for the New World? Is he referring to the auction block in historic towns like Danville? Does he mean chain gangs…or is he just making reference to something less sinister, mental chains? Is Mitt Romney a space alien about to invade my brain!?!? Oh God, Joe, why won’t you answer me?!?!
Questions, questions; so many questions!
And who or what does he mean by “y’all”? If there is a plot coming, is he just going to leave us regular (*cough* BLACK) folk to fend for ourselves? Is he going to at least leave us with a road map to escape this alluded to bondage? Oh!!! It just dawned on me. The only way to escape these chains is to give the Obama-Biden ticket a second chance – a second term.
Excuse me while I laugh uncontrollably.
I’m not sure who I’m voting for this election. Maybe I’ll “throw away” my vote and give it to the Green Party. One thing is for darn skippy, I will not be checking off Mr. Obama’s name come re-election time. Should anything ever happen to the incumbent, it will be up to this ass-clown to lead the nation, and though he’s a funny guy, I wouldn’t trust him to lead me out of a paper bag. It’s just too risky.
I can just see him as Commander-in-Chief.
“Hey y’all! Al Qaida is dropping bombs over the entire state of Georgia. I hope y’all have some sort of bomb insurance. I sold some to the Arab-Americans. I thought they could use it more than the rest of y’all. You know, since all Americans are unequal. Dag. My bad.”
Perhaps the ‘chains’ he is referring to are indeed physical chains. It may well be that Mitt Romney and the Republican party are about to re-energize the steel industry to manufacturing chains just for us darkies as a reward/punishment for voting them into power. It would make sense. I mean, America was built on the backs of Black enslaved (and chained) people. It only stands to reason that the country would be re-built on the descendants of those people. But seriously, if that’s the case, you owe us a heads up. After all the Will.I.Am and Oprah did to get you into office, you could at the very least provide fair warning that they will from hence forth be known as Elias and Kizzy, and that you are unwilling to stop them. Should I assume you will be donning a Quaker’s hat in the new regime? No? Okay.
In any event, Mr. Biden, you have some explaining and some apologizing to do. You just don’t get to run into a crowded theater and yell fire just for a few giggles. Stop acting like a 23 year old stoner and wake up and realize you’re the Vice President of the United States of America! Am I the only person slightly concerned about this behavior?