This morning, I woke up around 1 o’clock to indulge in a nightly pleasure: to forage for food, catch up on the news and to watch infomercials in peace. As I sat down at my PC to see what was going on in the world at 1am, I saw a headline that stunned me:
Black people upset that Tiger Woods has never had a Black mistress
Reading the article, I munched on my mac n’ cheese thinking this HAD to be a joke.
Then I headed over to the sofa to flip through channels and saw Geraldo Rivera covering a story on Fox News:
Blacks fall out with Tiger because he’s never had a Black mistress
What the…WHAT?!?!? My eyes and ears had to be deceiving me.
My position on this whole Tiger “story” is that is was never a “story” to begin with. The coverage should have ended when he hit the tree/fire hydrant and the cops issued him a ticket. Anything after that is NOT news. What it is, is tiresome gossip, and the only people who are concerned with this story are gossipy old biddies and Black people of a certain age…that age is 40 and above. Blacks of that generation are the ones who survived and fought for our civil rights. It was a tremendous feat, but what they have failed to come to terms with is that the triumphs and tragedies of that struggle are sometimes one and the same: Which are the right to vote for whom we want, and the right to marry whom we wish. Sorry Black-folk-over-40, but this means not all Black people are going to vote Democrat or are mandated to inter-marry with one another.
I can’t even begin to explain how preposterous this new fight with Tiger is. Black people have been trying to make Woods Black from day one, same as they did to Paula Abdul. He is Black, among other things, but he has never exclusively claimed us. And why should he? His DNA says he’s Black, White, Native American and Indian. He even coined the term “Caublanasian” just so y’all could get a clue. Heck, Dave Chappelle even parodied it on his show when he did the “Black Draft” featuring who else? Tiger. When Earl Woods was out there teaching his little boy how to swing a club, I can only imagine the types of names he must have been called by other Black kids, because after all real Black boys only play football and basket ball, don’t they? And after hurling and ice hockey, there is no Whiter sport than golf, is there?
I can’t understand this new bone Blacks are picking with Tiger. Why, in the world, would you want him to have a Black mistress? Why would you want a Black woman to be his second (or possibly third) best? Why would you want Tiger to use a Black woman to sully the institution of his marriage, and essentially be his whore? Isn’t there enough of that on the corner? Would you be happy if Tiger had contracted syphilis from the likes of Super Head, the nasty Video Vixen? How is THAT classy? Is that where we are as a people? Really???
I can’t get my head around this one, and I’m not so sure I really want to. I’m simply going to humbly suggest that every Black Blogger and radio host who has a problem with Tiger get a grip and move on. This has nothing to do with y’all.