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The Burden of Being an Average Looking Woman

This week a woman named Samantha Brick sent the internet into a tizzy when she wrote an article entitled ‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful.

She asserts that while she is no Elle Macpherson, she “is tall, slim, blonde and often told, a good-looking woman.” She continues to say that she knows how lucky she is; but there are downsides to being pretty “— the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.”

I read the article in its entirety, and walked away with a profound sense of confusion. You see, this is Samantha Brick. And as she rightly says, she is tall and blonde…but she is hardly pretty. Cute in a scullery or milk maid sort of way – sure – but not as ‘hot’ as she would have us all to believe.

I am not one of those women who has a problem pointing out and praising another woman’s looks.

Gabrielle Union is gorgeous.

Sofia Vergara is muy caliente.

Eva Longoria: smokin’.

Aishwarya Rai. Need I say more?

Samantha Brick? What are you ON sister?!? You’re not even playing the same sport as these women, let alone the same league!

After publishing her article, poor Samantha found herself at the center of a commentator firestorm so fearsome that the Daily Mail has disabled comments for the first time in its history. People have been downright vicious towards this woman, and I don’t blame them. It is human nature to attack what we don’t understand…and what people don’t get is that Samantha is a hot woman trapped in an average (and I mean like a low ‘C’) woman’s body.

Samantha bemoans the burden of living the life of a pretty woman, flush with bottles of champagne sent to her table and cab fare being paid for by complete strangers. She also says that she has been passed up for promotions by female bosses because they were threatened by her looks as their own “bloom had begun to fade.” Our tall blonde protagonist has never been asked to serve as a bridesmaid in any of her friends’ weddings, a reason she is confident lies in their belief that her stunning looks would upstage them on their wedding day.

Samantha, Samantha.

Have you ever considered that no one invites you to be a part of the wedding party because of your stank, conceited attitude? Which may also be attributed to why you were passed up for promotions? Which in turn may be the same reason you got all those free drinks! Fact: Men at the club love to buy the most overt stankiest skank a drink. They think it’s a door opener to a romp in a back seat or dark alley somewhere. Wake up my sister, wake up!

Judging from her article, I will say that Samantha has achieved all that she has, not because of her exceptional beauty (for she is NOT exceptionally beautiful), but because of her gift: she is an excellent writer. She clearly has a good work ethic, and cares a great deal about her career. If she has received any special favors, it’s not because of how she looks…an honor reserved only for the Zac Ephrons and Victoria Beckhams of this world…the truly (freakishly) good looking people of this world. No, no. Her promotion has come from 20 years of hard and steady work – and that is the burden of the average looking woman. We have to work hard at what we get. Nothing is ever handed to us.

You hear that Samantha Brick? You are AVERAGE, just like me! Plain ol’ African ME. You might as well start calling yourself Sista Bonsu. There is little difference between you and a villager – except the blonde hair, of course. But even that kraa is not special. It can be bought at any local beauty supply chain for $10.99.

But in all seriousness, I do pity Samantha Brick. It must be difficult to have the paradigm through which you viewed your whole existence shattered within a matter of hours. How dreadful it must feel, to pounce on your keyboard and pound out a forceful declaration to the world:

“Hey universe! Stop hating me because I’m beautiful!!”

only to have the ENTIRE world shout back:

“Hey Samantha! We don’t hate you ’cause you’re beautiful. We hate you ’cause you’re a b*tch!”


If Halle Berry or Angelina Jolie had written this article, we would have dismissed it as a joke. First of all, it’s classless, and secondly, no one really hates pretty women. In fact, average looking women try their best to get into the good graces and inner circles of gorgeous women, precisely because of all the benefits Samantha mentioned. They follow the free manna. In fact, average-looking women have been known to befriend “less fortunate” looking women for the benefits attached to the pity-driven resources these horse-faces sometimes  receive from the public. Average-looking women have to be resourceful like that. It’s part and parcel of our burden.

I think that Samantha Brick may fall into this latter group. Her immediate circle must be so dog ugly that she emerges as the most alluring of the pack.

That’s a pretty scary thought.


This article has 29 comments

  1. African Mami (@afrikanmami12)

    woi woi woi!!!! When I grow up, I want to be like Sister Bonsu. *iDIED*!!!

  2. gboukzi

    I’m not really sure I agree with u this time ma’am. I believe in the old fashioned saying that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder only in this case, its also in the eyes of the person. I think the way she sees herself helps her in building her self esteem which goes a long way in determining how well she does in anything. Work, relationships et al. So I think it should be encouraged. Ladies, especially small girls, shldnt be judged based on holywood stars’ & celebrity models’ looks but on what they have inside. It will help in saving the lives of many a young girl if this holywood stars aren’t help up as models for beauty and hotness. Many of them go and have surgeries & body enhancement procedures anyway because they can afford it. Not many ladies can. So ma’am, I think this behaviour shld be encouraged. Forget what Angelina Jolie or Gabrielle Union looks like, young girls should be encouraged to see themselves as beautiful & carry themselves so. That’s my submission. This takes nothing away from the qualitt of the write-up though. Brilliant read, as always. Please keep it up.

    • African Mami (@afrikanmami12)


      There’s a difference between vanity-or should I say dumb blonde moments/self-absorption and having self esteem. This woman is the former. There’s nothing encouraging about her behavior. If anything, she needs a reality check!

      • gboukzi

        Maybe u have a point. But doesn’t this seem a tad bit judgemental? I mean, a woman claims she’s beautiful & the whole world goes and says she’s delusional cos she says so. She sees herself as beautiful. The dumb blonde moment might be what works in building her self esteem altho its seen as a dumb blonde moment by the rest of the world. Maybe its even a dumb blonde moment but the woman claims she’s beautiful, I think she should be left alone to revel in her (perceived) stupidity. No one has a right to try and shoot her down because they think she’s not beautiful. I don’t know but that’s how I see it.

        • African Mami (@afrikanmami12)


          A tad bit judemental-it is fully judgmental based on case presentation!:)

        • Malaka

          I have to agree with African Mami. There is a difference between trying to build self-esteem and vanity.

          This woman flat out said the rest of woman-kind HATED her because of her looks, which is patently ridiculous! We live in a time where if we want good looks, we can go out there and buy them. The adage “don’t hate me because I’m beautiful” is sooo passé. People hate on each other because of wealth, not envy over something as cheap as looks.

          Want boobs? Buy them. Want a new nose? Buy it!

          I’m all for building self esteem of young girls, but that was not the spirit in which this woman wrote her article. Maybe only another woman can see that and it escapes men. Mystery of our gender perhaps?

          Anyway, thx for reading!

  3. David S.

    Anybody who laments about people hating her because she is pretty must have serious self esteem issues. People who really have self esteem don’t care whether random people hate or love them. And that’s why she gets her cab fare paid for and bottles of champagne sent to her table. Men can smell low self esteem and vulnerability a mile away.

  4. nairobigal

    I have read the article and what I can tell is that people seem more offended by the fact that she thinks she’s so hot she has to write a whole article about herself. Bragging, arogance, pride that emanate from the article raised people’s hairs.
    From my experience, beautiful women get breaks that others may not get including promotions at work. And if they have a nice personality, they always have loads of friends. It’s the beauty inside that draws people to you.

  5. NM

    I think Samantha Brick confuses narcissisim and healthy self esteem. The former alienates and has people running for the hills, while the latter puts people at ease. Seems Ms. Bricks falls into the first category but is so busy touting her own ‘goddesslikeness (yes, I made up that word) that she misses that assesment entirely. Perhaps there is a reason she was created in that likeness, life would be unbearable for the women around her if she looked like say Liya Kibede.

  6. Ebenezer Scrooge

    And I thought I knew the definition of Delusion de Grandeur!!! Apuuuu!!! And coincidentally, I saw me a RealLifeSamantha this very morning….
    Gbouzki, “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”??? Well, ummm, I actually asked the question in a piece entitled “Beauty Lies”… (in some NollyWood village elder’s voice) My people, they say, “Beauty lies in d eyes of d beholder”, I agree, but isn’t True Beauty there for everyone to see??
    MALAKA, I dey stalk U for here too… Hehehe…
    MAMI, I’ll get back to you on pending issues “on the other side”…
    Oh and compliments of the season to you all!!!

  7. Tope Olowu

    I was hoping to write on this deluded woman. Oh well! Need I say more. No one hates a pretty woman…envious? Yes but hate c’ommon this ain’t the stone age. Samantha Brick needs a slap. Utterly brilliant write up.

  8. ozohu

    LOL @ “hot woman trapped in an average(low C) woman’s body”. if beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, i’ll say she is her only beholder.

  9. Asterix

    Isn’t there an opposing view to this? What if really, that is based on her experiences and she is not paranoid? I ,for one find her pleasant looking but NOT hot. But there is a bit of truth in what she says about beauty and preferential treatment or at least perception on beauty. In Africa, well Kenya, light skinned gals -who I suspect believe they are hot- actually get preferential treatment as compared to darker skinned counterparts.
    I remember, reading Malcom- X biography- a couple of years back- and he sort of experienced this preferential treatment based on …well, you check out his book and see what he says, but that was his experience during 60’s and 70’s.
    Perception can create ones reality and these may or may not necessarily be the same thing.

    • Malaka

      It is true that more attractive people get preferential treatment. That has been anthropologically proven. But Samantha Brick’s premise in her article is that woman kind (or at least all women in her circle) hates her because she’s SO pretty. Her argument was based on misguided vanity.

      I don’t think any intelligent woman begrudge another for being good looking.

  10. Ine

    Ah Malaka, you just made my morning. I have lol from a good and hearty place. Woi !! Earth shattering revelation for poor Samantha, lmao. I thoroughly enjoyed this and will definately share it with others.
    I found your site, thanks to one ATS starved fan on adventures, and it is my find of the century! I am loving it! I feel like I just got a really great book I can curl up with and just ignore the world. You write beautifully and I wish you great health and lots and lots of free time, lol.

  11. Audiofox

    This is precisely why I stopped giving a damn about attracting anybody for romantic or sexual purposes. Views on beauty change drastically and people just follow the trends. I’m a tall, fair strawberry blond and I apparently look like a horse’s ass because I choose not to tan. Waste of life.

  12. Jenny

    I think her comments were made to piss people off and it has worked,she is an attractive woman,it’s not just about ‘looks’ either,some people have a certain ‘presence’ about them.
    I personally do think she is more beautiful than Gabrielle Union and Ava Longoria (whoever).
    The lady is a natural blonde (eyebrows) with green eyes,she aint aishwarai rai she is a ‘real’ woman and that is the intimidating bit.Its a shame she is so enlightened on her own appeal.

  13. Mat

    I laughed my butt off. Thanks for the article!

  14. Meagan

    My worD you did not hold back at all. I don’t think she’s THT BAD LOOKING. she’s pretty. But I agree, she is not hot enough to warrant all that special attention. I’m one of those ppl who like to compliment other pp.’s good qualities. But when they compliment themselves so much I find it hard to say anything nice about them.

    Boy I wish I was beautiful so I could complain about it. XD

  15. timmy

    Must beautiful women don’t consider themselves stunning. Mrs. Brick was fishing for compliments and came up empty handed. I bet she dosen’t write another article about her stunning good looks.

  16. Heleny

    I agree with Audiofox here. I am a dark blond haired lass with blue/green eyes and quite tall and pale skinned….So you’re saying , I am not valid or hot, as a woman because I am not tanned or I don’t have an exotic look about me. Rubbish women can be hot in every colour, shape and size as can men…….

  17. Adeen

    I think this woman is ugly. I don’t see why people put blondes on the pedestal of beauty. There are some beautiful blond women out there but she is not one of them. Most of the beautiful White women in the world are on the darker end of the spectrum in the White race: darker hair, olive skin and brown eyes. I am not saying there aren’t beautiful blondes; they are out there but brunettes are better looking by far.

    And Gabrielle Union is gorgeous! I agree. Sofia Vergara is beautiful and she is funny too. I also agree Eva Longoria is smoking. Black women are the most beautiful women on the planet along with Latinas and Indian women.

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