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Questions That Keep Nagging Me

I don’t have all the answers, and never pretended that I have. It must be incredibly boring to be a know- it-all, and most likely even more frustrating to live in perfect belief that you do know it all, only to discover through some mundane event (like tripping over one’s shoe lace) that you really don’t.

That said, I have questions that I’ve never heard anybody ask the following questions, let alone provide the answers; and this is where I’m hoping my M.O.M. Squad and Random Readers can step in an help. Are you ready? Let’s just go to MOM Mode and get this started.


  1. wwomanHow did White women feel when their husbands would go creeping into slave cabins?: We’ve all heard about how powerless Black men and women were when it came to incidences of rape, which were fairly commonplace during slavery. We’ve heard accounts where Black men had to silently watch their wives and daughters be sexually violated by the master/overseer on pain of death if they uttered a peep in objection, or the shame these women had to live with. But how did WHITE women feel, knowing their spouses and sons were making nocturnal visits to the environs of the people they owned for sexual pleasure and self-gratification? I mean, did they just welcome the dude back into their marital bed with open arms with the scent of another woman still clinging to him?
  2. big 6Who were the female heroes of Ghana’s Independence Movement?: If you grew up in Ghana, chances are you’ve  heard of The Big Six – Ebenezer Ako-Adjei, Edward Akufo-Addo, Kwame Nkrumah, William Ofori Atta, Joseph B. Danquah and Emmanual Obetsebi-Lamptey. They were the founding members of the United Gold Coast Convention, which organized boycotts, rallies, and helped usher in the freedom to sit in traffic and enjoy the imported items (like stale Chinese chicken) you and I so much enjoy today. But who were the WOMEN leaders who also fought against British colonialism and tyranny? Maybe it’s a function of my limited education, but I have never heard a peep about any woman who helped further the cause of Ghana’s independence, and I kind of find it hard to believe they don’t exist. There are no roads, bridges, or interchanges named after our heroines. What? Is there no room on the national platform for these historical figures? Are they not worthy of celebration?
  3. miss-nigeria-2013-auditions-registration-datesWhy are Nigerians so colorstruck?: There are few things I hate more than a colorstruck African. They are an absolutely repugnant breed. A colorstruck African triggers in me the same ick response as a bowl of festering, month-old fruit… something that was once beautiful and now is only worth throwing out and feeding to the maggots. Colorstruck Africans are a reminder of Africa’s ugly past, when caste systems were set in place to create false imaginations of superiority… and though Ghanaians also suffer from these delusions, Nigerians seem to be the most infected by far. I see it at least a few times a week: at my job where my Nigerian boss gleefully points out black skin and proclaims “that is one of your kontry people. So BLACK!”; to Twitter where intelligent debate invariable degenerates to insults, the final blow being “Ah. But you are just BLACK!”; to various online forums where dark skinned women are raked over the coals just for sporting the color they were born with. So Nigerians, I ask again: what makes caramel colored skin better than Ashanti black?
  4. photo from Daily Mail

    photo from Daily Mail

    Do people look at Indian men and automatically assume they are rapists?: When a Black man comes jogging by, he is usually met with suspicion. When a White guy walks into a store with khakis and a pair of boat shoes, the assumption is that he has a good job and can afford whatever he wants. And up until last year, you might see and Indian guy walk down the road in mainstream America and assume he was an IT Developer. But with the rash of gang rapes going on in India – in cities AND rural areas – are perceptions about Indian men changing? Could they be the new face of scary?


I have to go. One of the kids threw up at school and I have to go get them. A mother’s work is never done, is it? Anyway, I’m looking forward to your answers, which you can put right here! ↓



This article has 2 comments

  1. Ekuba

    My answers: 1. How did white women feel when their husbands went creeping: The same way women around the world whose husbands cheat feel whenever their hubbies sneak to their lovers. The same way women in Ghana (where I grew up) who knew their husbands cheated but chose to remain ‘for the sake of the kids’ felt anytime their husbands went on a ‘trek’ (code name for travelling with the hot office secretary). The same way rich wives of politicians like Bill Clinton, Weiner, & Spitzer who chose to ‘stay by their man’ feel everytime he steps out of the house (I believe they know once a cheat, always a cheat). You make your bed & lie on it. As sad as I feel for these women, I recognize that at some point they decided that their hubbies cheating weren’t as important as the other stuff (their marriage, kids, their income, their ‘image’) & so they accept the cheating.
    2. Female heroes of the independent movement in GH: are so many but not as documented as the men. Dr Beatrix Allah-Mensah of the Political Science Department researched into this issue & discovered the names of women like Ruth Botsio, Susan Al-Hassan & Hannah Cudjoe etc. who played a big role. Of course we all know Madam Theodosia Okoh who designed the flag we use today. Nkrumah caused the passage of a bill to give a certain quota of parliament to women & so 10 Ghanaian women were in the Parliament of the 1st Republic. Maybe that can be emulated since we have only 30 MPs out of 200 plus MPs.
    3. Nigerians being color-struck: I have no idea but just know that my nigerian best pal told our white classmate that his wavy hair is beautiful and not a ‘mop’ like her hair or my hair. She also compliments me anytime I get lighter & tells me Ghanaians are very dark whenever she wants to argue with me ie: she thinks I’ll be offended that Ghanaians are dark! On the other hand, she fawns over our light-skinned Ethiopian friend with long, wavy hair I once asked her that since she thinks being black is uglier, would she admit that she’s uglier than white folks? She hasn’t responded.
    4. Indians being rapists: you know what, i dont think so. I think that Americans tend to be concerned about what happens ON American soil. They are not that concerned by international affairs ie: who’s raping whom where in India. I mean if a third of Americans dont know the name of the Vice Prez of the US and a third of Louisianans think Obama caused Katrina then probably a huge chunk of America hasn’t heard about the Indian rapes. However, black people were brought to America & because the whites maltreated them & knew in their soul that if they were maltreated like that, they’d probably kill the perpetrator, the myth of the angry black man/ woman was created.
    This is my longest comment on your blog Malaka! shows i enjoyed the post

    • Malaka

      Whew! And I appreciated every comma and full stop! Ha! Thanks for the feedback and well thought out answers.

      Re your Nigerian friend: now that’s a good question to pose these colorstruck buffoons, no matter their nationality. “Do YOU think your dark skin makes YOU inferior and ugly?” Right in their face. No sugar coating or circumventing. Their silence or reply will be telling either way. The fact that your friend hasn’t responded says a lot.

      On White women married to rapist slave masters, I can’t argue with that! The potential and promise of privilege will make you clam up quick, won’t it? Still, I would love to hear some Mistress Narratives about how they thought and felt. It had to have sucked for them as well.

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