How to Type Your Way Out of a Blessing

Before we get into that, let me say…

My Dear Mom Squad: You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. I love our relationship. We have had SO many topics to discuss, and yet I’ve had no time! Reinaneh Jabbari, Reeva Steenkamp, The Natural Hair Show, Americans vs Ebola…so many things to yap about and no bandwidth. This saddens me.

And now:

Pastors and other spiritual guides are always waxing on about the power of the tongue. The tongue holds the power of death and life; you can call blessing or prosperity to you by the words that you speak and so forth. This is all true. Your words can and do create your reality – however I think it’s time to retool this message for the digital age. It might help some folk.

I read an article a few years back in which the authors explained in detail how we speak fewer words today than we did a mere 30 years ago. We ‘communicate’ more, but we speak less. The authors were referring to the advent of email and increased access to online resources in this country. That article was written before Tumbl’r, Instagram and Twitter really took off. Most of the communication we participate in is digitized in some form. Our relationships are digitized. We have our Facebook Fam, Twitter Husbands/Wives and Lord knows what else on snap chat. And because we live in this 140 character, pixel by pixel reality in which we hastily dash off any number of messages or retweets, it is easy to forget that there is a real world around you when you look up from the soft glow of your iPhone screen. I’m assuming this is what happened to a particular candidate this weekend.


Quick background: You all know I’m back in recruiting for the moment. Part of that job is scheduling interviews between managers and candidates. So that’s what I did. I scheduled an interview between a manager and a job seeker, and the manager didn’t show up for the interview. More precisely, he left the office before the interview took place and didn’t tell me. The candidate was upset – livid, to be honest – and made no bones about letting me know. (Privacy laws prevent me from republishing his email, so I’m paraphrasing.)

This was a complete waste of my afternoon! They told me to come back Monday, but I don’t know if I can make it!

Number one: niggro, youse unemployed. When I called you, you were working in the yard. Yes, you can make it. But I didn’t say that! I said:

Please accept my sincere apologies. I’m so sorry the manager was not available. Give me some time to investigate and I will see about rescheduling the interview. I will be in touch shortly!

Reader, what do you think his response should have been? Silence would have been optimal. Acknowledgment of the email and an expression of anticipation about rescheduling would have been permissible. Firing off an email about how pissed you are, and not wanting to work for a company that doesn’t keep up with its schedule is unacceptable. Oh you guessed it. Mr. Candidate did the lattermost and said:

Hey, (Yes. He addressed me as “hey”)

It’s ok I understand. I’m gonna be honest though. As a *job title* when and if something prevents me from making a on time delivery or missing a delivery no matter the cause I give immediate notification. 

I’m baffled as to why the manager did not notify anyone if he wasn’t going to be there. I know there is another location in Gotham do they have a opening? I’m interested but I don’t think I want someone so unorganized as a route manager or route supervisor. I hope you understand and I hope I’m not stepping on any toes. 

Yes, Mr. Candidate, you did step on toes…many, many toes! You are the CANDIDATE, and I respect your position as such. You want to work for a good company, and my client wants good employees to fulfill their vision in return. But dude, you have to at least get your foot in the door before you go lambasting the manager’s character! I was willing to give him some wriggle room on the matter until I got a third email from him saying he hoped we could “work something out” and that I “understood his concerns”. Keep in mind, this was all before I could investigate what had happened to said manager and where he had gone so I could report back to Mr. Candidate. But he was doing ‘the most’ on his iPhone, and now he’s typed his way out of an interview.

I refuse to reschedule him, and here’s why.

  • He has shown a lack of self-control. If you can’t stop yourself from firing off a series of emails at this stage in the employment process, you probably can’t be trusted to handle client interactions when things don’t go as planned.
  • He has exhibited poor judgment and proven to be very judgmental. No one wants to work with a douchebag who thinks he’s better than everyone else and believes he would never make a mistake.
  • He admitted in his third email that he has always wanted to get on board with my client. Given his desire to work for this company, you would think he would exercise a little more decorum. His behavior in this short term has indicated that he is not interested in the long term success of the company. He immediately suggested that I look for opportunities for him in other branches. That made me chuckle.
  • The manager completely supports the decision not to reschedule based on his erratic and belligerent behavior.

Mr. Candidate is not the only person this week who has or will type themselves out of a relationship/job/blessing. Somewhere on a smart device near you, some doofus is doing the same thing, and the results will be just as devastating or far worse. The McCann Troll (the woman who killed herself after she was outed for trolling the McCann family in Scotland) comes to mind.

Death and life, curses and blessings are in the power of your fingertips my people! Choose life.