Is your little man tired of receiving khakis, hoodies and socks for Christmas? Has exhaustion from exerting yourself all year depleted your creative capacity? Do you want him – like his father- to just be grateful for the gift of refined cotton?? If the title of this post caused your pulse to quicken, knowing that you’ve held off shopping for the perfect gift for that enigmatic group known as “tween boys”, you are not alone. I bid you welcome! Welcome to the Perpetual Procrastinators club! We’ll get you a seat in just a moment.

To answer your unasked question: No. Stone is not yet a tween. He’s (still) 8, and just as mercurial and adorable as the day we brought him home from Northside. All he wants for Christmas is Legos, so I was able to finish his shopping in a record 10 minutes. However, we do have a tween boy staying with us, and it is his presence in our home that has inspired this post. I’ve been at my wit’s end trying to puzzle out the perfect gift for him, working myself into a sweaty frenzy on many a night over this mental exercise. Finally, ‘it’ occurred to me. If you have found yourself in similar, fretful circumstances, I come with good news! There is no perfect gift for tween-to-teen boys. It doesn’t exist. In general, they are beings whose interests and moods shift as frequently as the sandy fields of the Sahara, which means that whatever gift you get today will eventually find some relevance in their life. To quote Peg (of Peg Plus Cat fame), “The problem is solved!”

We’re all trying to raise curious, introspective, responsible young men, right? (That boys just wanna have fun is a given.) The following gift ideas will aid them – and you – in that endeavor without them even knowing it. It’s the equivalent of hiding the peas in the mashed potatoes. Your young man has probably asked for an iPhone or a new tablet, but let’s give ‘em something else to consider. Let’s expand their horizons. Expansion is fun.

A car wash kit

Almost every boy wants a shiny new car. In a few years, he’ll be asking for driving lessons. One day, he may even attempt to “help”you by backing the car out of the garage sans your knowledge or permission. He’s just showing initiative! Initiate him into that carwash life. Give him the tools to help him get his gloss on.

Lord of the Flies

Boys get so many cues that inform them that having/showing emotion somehow demonstrates weakness. William Golding’s novel, Lord of the Flies, is the antidote to that poisonous thinking. If you want to show your tween why empathy is so vital for human survival and success, have him read this book. The cover art alone ought to stir his interest. *shudder*

A wallet

By now, all of your relatives have probably stopped trying to figure out what to get the boy for Christmas and have converted their indecision to cash. He’ll need somewhere to store his loot. A snazzy leather wallet is a good place to start.

His Own Grooming kit

You know why? Because No One ever knows where Somebody put mom’s toe nail clippers.

His Own Lotion

Boys and ash go together like peanut butter and jelly. Like ham on burger. And since you probably still have Bed, Bath & Beyond and Body Shop baskets from 2009, there is an abundance of floral, peach and gingerbread in moisture form scattered around the house. It’s no longer ‘cute’ or acceptable for a growing boy to reek of oven baked goods, delectable as they may be. It’s time for Man Mint to take over.

Personal Popcorn Maker

Every boy should know how to cook something. He’s mastered eggs. Now he can feed the family on movie night, too. Pressure’s off of you!

His First Drone 

Drones are controversial – what with highway patrol using them to track speed and swell municipal revenue from issued tickets – but darn it if they aren’t fun to fly! At $35, this TOZO is a great beginners option for any kid fascinated with the world of aviation…and worrying the neighbors.

Protection From The Tundra Outside

You’re always telling him to cover his head before he goes outside. Well, now he actually might if he thinks he can give someone a fright in the process.

Portable Bike Repair Kit 

Somebody got a flat? He’ll be the hero of the cul-de-sac!

Virtual Reality

I admit: I initially scoffed at this gift when I saw it trending online. If *EYE* have to be confronted with the horrors and rigors of reality on a day-to-day basis, why should any kid get to escape? But then, that’s the point. They’re kids. They ought to be able to retreat into a world of fantasy, and slipping into their own virtual reality may just let him do that.

Don’t let him hang out in VR too long, though. There’s a car that needs washing. 😉

Did these gift ideas help guide you to your next last minute shopping dash? I hope so! They provided a breakthrough for me. I think our tween will be very happy come Christmas (or Kwanzaa, depending on the delivery schedule) morning. Click on the images for links to where you can purchase these items on Amazon. If you have Prime, shipping is free!