Sexy Chocolate!

I lost 8 lbs about two months ago. I was elated. I celebrated that feat with a bar of Green & Blacks Almond chocolate. The celebration continued for 8 weeks, one week for every pound lost. I am now 3 lbs heavier than I was before I lost the weight. That’s a net of I-don’t-really-give-a-crap-because-at-least-I-gained-the-weight-eating-something-I-love pounds back on my hips.

My ardor for chocolate will never fade. I have discovered there is a direct relation between my age and my passionate feelings for chocolate: as my age increases, so does that love.

Some might categorize my feelings about chocolate as “inappropriate”. I couldn’t disagree more. I don’t think there is anything more natural and healthy than a relationship between a woman and an inanimate object. The key is knowing when to curb this relationship before it takes on the aura of crazy. I helped a friend move houses a few weeks ago, and in the middle of conversation she pulled open a drawer and showed me her collection of dildos…a venerable treasure trove of personal pleasure. I smiled nervously as she fingered one of her favorites: a glass obelisk with a dramatic upward bend.

“Isn’t it lovely?” she asked.

“Yeah. It’s…something,” I replied with hesitation.

Now put chocolate in this same scenario. It would have been perfectly appropriate for me to offer her a piece of my chocolate; but it would have been absolutely abhorrent for her to offer me a piece of one of her dildos. (I don’t even know if it’s physically possible to offer someone a piece of dildo; but you get the point.)

My husband indulges my love/love relationship with chocolate. Outside of his affection, it’s the one thing that truly gives me pleasure. And unlike Samantha Brick, I do succumb to it, and often. She credits her refusal to submit to the power of chocolate for making her the most “beautiful woman in the world”. Whatever. She has no clue what she’s missing out on.

I love everything about chocolate.

The look of it.

The smell of it.

The way it melts against my tongue when I nibble on it. Sometimes I take my time a savor every bite.

Sometimes I shove it into my mouth with enormous bites…hard and quick bites because just need it IN me.

Lawd have His good mercy, I do love me some chocolate.

*You should all know that my husband did not approve of this final picture but he took it anyway. He is my biggest enabler, and I love him for it.

*Oh dear God. I’m looking at this picture again now and it’s just WRONG. Oh well. I’ve already hit ‘publish’.