My phone rang deep in the night as I was settling my head into my pillow. It was a dear friend calling from the US.
“Girl, I know it’s late where you are…but we haven’t spoken in a while so I don’t care.”
I laughed at her candor and told her I didn’t mind. I wasn’t going to be able to go right to sleep anyway. I had too much on my mind.
“What’s going on with you?” she asked.
“Girl,” I sighed.
“Girl!” she exhaled in response.
Now that the universal code for struggle-recognizes-struggle-but-yet-still-holding-on had been uttered, we set about the business of laying out the particulars of said struggle which always are (in no particular order): husbands, children, crazy folk en masse and in general, and finances. Finances were foremost on my mind. I told her as much when she asked:
“Did I miss something on the blog? It’s been quiet.”
“No,” I cackled. “You ain’t missed a thing. I wrote one piece last week, and that’s it. I might not even post this week. I need to figure some things out before I worry about writing…”
And it’s true.
Okay guys: This is me just talking here; just keeping it really real mmmkay? I’m feeling really vulnerable right now. I just need to talk things through. I need a miracle, and more importantly, my finances need a touch from the healing hand of the Lord Jesus Christ…or whatever His Hebrew name was before it was colonized by the Romans. Come to think of it, it’s probably why Jesus don’t really be answering prayer as quickly as we would like. “Jesus” is the Son of God’s field name…like Toby. Remember when the white people stole Kunta’s name in Roots? We done Toby-ed Jesus.
That’s not the point of this post.
Whatever the case may be, my account is hemorrhaging; It’s experiencing a proverbial issue of blood, and it needs just one Benny Hinn TOUCH! of anointing to set it straight.
It’s not like I’m not trying to inject some juice into this dried out fiscal turkey. It’s not like I’m sitting around waiting for someone to just hand me some money. I mean, I’m selling EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. That’s what Oprah and them said to do, right? Provide value for value? Whatchu need? Chances are, I’ve got it.
The only things I haven’t done yet is tap dance on Vaudeville for a few coins, and in if the price is right, I’ll do that too! Just for that TOUCH!
I don’t have the words today, MOM Squad and Random Readers, which is why I’ve prepared this short video to convey my concern. I don’t cuss (often) and I try to treat my fellow man right (when they aren’t being insufferable douche bags), so why these fiscal trials and tribulations? Doesn’t the universe know that Christmas is coming? Don’t the ancients of days know that there is nothing more cliche than a child in Africa with no access to the delights of commercialized western Christmas? Next thing you know, the dudes from Wham(!) will be on my stoop talkin’ about some Feed the World, and I’ll be forced to listen to their condescension all because my finances couldn’t grab a hold of the heavenly hem! Not for my children’s first Christmas in Africa. I reject it in Jesus’ name!
All I have is this one desire…for the linen of the Son of the Lamb to brush up against my Suntrust account and do its thing.
Do you need Jesus to brush up on your dollar bills too? Let’s join our faith with one another, right here in the comments section. Yessss…wind of God, blow. Whooosh!